Looking for Books to Help Navigate a Mean World.

I'm sure that I'm not the only one who has noticed in the last decade or so that much of society has become increasingly mean, disrespectful, rude, greedy, selfish and heartless toward their fellow humans--as well as toward animals. Now, I realize that not everyone is this way but at least in my area of the world, social politeness has degraded severely in my lifetime.

As many of you know, I have a debilitating psychiatric condition called, schizoaffective disorder, which is basically bipolar with some schizophrenic symptoms. Along with having a.d.d., it's hard for me to filter out the toughness and harsh social relations that are poisoning our society. Since I have trouble screening the constant bombardment of stimuli in this world, I have little bandwidth, so to speak, to absorb this nasty behavior.

Thus, I get sad, angry and frustrated with the world, rather easily. Whether it's navigating reckless driving, dealing with selfish people at the market, or living amongst others who live a shallow, superficial life; it's hard to learn how to live amongst such heartlessness and ignorance without it depressing you to the point of wanting to give up!!

So, I am looking for some suggestions on some books that I could read about how to deal with mean, nasty, rude, selfish people. I'm not talking about any of the traditional Buddhist texts/books but rather those specifically dealing with how to live in this world without it getting to you, and turning you into a cynical person from a purely psychological, clinical point of view. To narrow it down further, I'm looking for a "self-help" type book on tips for dealing with such cruelty. Of course, meditation helps a lot, (as do Buddhist books) but I need something that's more related to specific tips on living in the modern world of cruelty from a non-religious point of view.

Please, don't criticize me or condemn me for my struggles. I'm a very tender person and gets easily depressed, down on myself and easily over-whelmed with negativity. If you don't know of something that can help, and would rather tell me my problem is not being a "good enough Buddhist," then please have some compassion and keep your thoughts to yourself.

I know this is the anonymous dominated cyber-land, but please treat me with respect and remember that behind my profile is a real person who struggles a lot with psychological issues. I'm a strong person but also quite fragile to stress. This is a very hard issue for me to deal with and talk about. I don't need criticism--I need support, understanding and some tips on a few books that might help me deal with my psychological stresses from having to live with this world. Thank-you for understanding my sensitivity. It's hard enough writing this out and exposing myself, so please, treat me how you'd want to be treated. Thanks, again--James.

~Peace to all beings~

Myths About Meditation. Hint: It's Not Just for Buddhists.

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens. - Carl Jung.

Meditation has brought life-changing benefits to millions of people world-wide. It is perhaps one of the original "self-help" programs as it helps calm the mind, stabilize emotions and motivate. Meditation is probably best known in Buddhism and the Hindu belief system but it can not be said that one must be a Buddhist or Hindu to benefit from it. That is one of the persisting myths about meditation, which is sad because it could be holding some non-Buddhists back from really benefiting from the discipline. This and many myths about meditation are raised in a recent article by Doctor Ronald Alexander (who specializes in psychology):

Myth 4: "Practicing mindfulness meditation will conflict with my religious beliefs." The practice of mindfulness meditation is free of religious and spiritual dogma. In fact, if you believe in turning to God for guidance, you can use mindfulness meditation to set aside distractions and listen to the divine wisdom that can be found only when you tune out the endless chain of thoughts your own mind creates. This form of meditation turns down the volume of the chatter in your mind and allows you to tune in to deeper wisdom and insight. Mindfulness practice is a pathway to discovery that any of us can use, regardless of our religious or spiritual beliefs.

To read the rest of the article click on this sentence.

~Peace to all beings~

Faith in Buddhism.

Perhaps because of our Judeo-Christian background, we have a tendency to regard doubt as something shameful, almost as an enemy. We feel that if we have doubts, it means that we are denying the teachings and that we should really have unquestioning faith. Now in certain religions, unquestioning faith is considered a desirable quality. But in the Buddha-dharma, this is not necessarily so. Referring to the dharma, the Buddha said, “ehi passiko,” which means “come and see,” or “come and investigate,” not “come and believe.”

An open, questioning mind is not regarded as a drawback to followers of the Buddha-dharma. However, a mind that says, “This is not part of my mental framework, therefore I don't believe it,” is a closed mind, and such an attitude is a great disadvantage for those who aspire to follow any spiritual path. But an open mind, which questions and doesn't accept things simply because they are said, is no problem at all.

–Ani Tenzin Palmo, from “Necessary Doubt,” Tricycle, Summer 2002. Special thanks to Philip Ryan at Tricycle for this quote.

James: This reminds me of the quote, "Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they're open." One of the reasons that I began to sour on Christianity was because of the insistence upon "blind faith." I never understood how using my mind to question the claims being made by adult leaders in my former church was giving into "Satan" when "God" was the one who gave me that brain, which is able to question in the first place!! I like the translation of "come and see" because it is an invitation to spirituality but coupled with an invitation to see for yourself. I was very impressed with that approach when I first began investigating Buddhism. It is a very science based approach to spirituality, which appealed greatly to me as one who was raised on the scientific method.

Seeing is believing as we say in the west and in many ways Buddha was an ancient scientist of the mind and perhaps the first psychiatrist. The teaching of cause and effect is very much a foundation of scientific inquiry. He was certainly compared to a doctor prescribing countless variations of the Dharma (medications) to each person based on their individual karmic needs. That said, let's get back to the psychiatrist analogy in specific. A psychiatrist knows that trust is vital to enabling the patient in believing that the specific treatment plan prescribed will be helpful to the patient. That means allowing the patient to ask questions about the process. That's because a psychiatrist/psychologist knows that if a person feels like they are doing something out of guilt, fear or blind faith it doesn't matter how helpful the therapy might be, the patient is simply not going to buy into the program.

Buddhism is a lot like psychological therapy program put forth by Buddha. He knew that being able to question his teachings was the only way people would fully consider what he taught without feeling forced into it and force is completely antithetical to the Dharma he revealed. Buddha was a great questioner as he dared question the great Brahmin priest class of his day, which was very rebellious. He took the power of religion out of the hands of the privileged few and gave it back to the masses. He was a Robin-hood of spirituality in a way. That great tradition of questioning phenomenon and experiences for oneself is to me what makes Buddhism such a respected tradition. It treats people like adults rather than children to be told what to think, believe and how to act.

He was not very interested in speculation and open-ended faith but rather faith, which is merely a step in-between ignorance and knowing for oneself. It is a pit-stop of sorts along the journey of experiential wisdom. The Great Awakened one said in the Kasibharadvaja Sutta of the Samyutta Nikaya that "Faith is the seed and practice is the rain" which is nothing near blind faith. He goes on further saying, "And wisdom is my yoke and my plough." Thus, without the wisdom (the plough) to prepare the fertile field (the mind) with experience the seed of faith will wither, dry up, die and be of no use. Faith in Buddhism is in large part more of a conviction to accomplish ones goals for oneself, rather than being a submission and obedience to others as is often the case with the monotheistic religions.

~Peace to all beings~

Mental Illness: Meditation or Medication? Often, Both.

This is a long post but an important one because it touches on an issue--mental illnes, which some in spiritual circles choose to ignore. As many of you know I have been living with schizoaffective disorder for most of my life and have found great refuge, relief of symptoms and calm from Buddhism and meditation in particular. Of course, we all are "mentally ill" or else we wouldn't be here in samsara but some have severe, biological mental illnesses and require a hybrid approach of therapies and practices.

I notice that the more I meditate the easier it is to deal with my condition. Yet meditation alone isn't enough in my situation because despite meditating I still am debilitated by disabling symptoms such as paranoia, hallucinations, delusions (psychiatric delusions such as being convinced that you are the most horrible person on Earth), mood swings and chronic depression.

Thus I have found medications help fill the void and basically keep me alive because my depressive episodes easily lead to suicidal thoughts. I have found an excellent psychiatrist who has found a great balance of medications to keep myself as stable as can be expected outside finding a cure to the disease. In addition I talk regularly with a psychotherapist to help me keep track of my mood swings and give me tips on how to better manage my illness through establishing routines and developing other techniques. So I was excited when I read an excellent article in the current Buddhadharma magazine that arrived in my mailbox today about this very subject:

When Buddhism first came to the West, many teachers and practitioners initially dismissed psychotherapy as superficial, unnecessary and possibly counterproductive. As time went on...psychotherapy's relationship to spiritual practice started to undergo a reevaluation, and the two disciplines began to intermingle a bit more. In fact, many therapists and meditation teachers now agree that meditation and psychotherapy can be mutually facilitating. Meditators seem to progress more quickly in theraphy, while psychotherapy can improve the effectiveness of their meditation.

James: I am one of those meditators who have progressed more quickly in therapy thanks in part to my meditation practice. In fact, when I come into therapy and am having a difficult time with my mental illness she always asks if I'm meditating and the answer is often, "no." So in a lot of ways my meditation practice is a type of medication though I still do have episodes despite meditating. When I meditate on a regular basis it takes some of the severity out of my symptoms. That said, while meditation is very effective it isn't the entire solution and I think we Buddhists must admit that meditation isn't the solution to everthing--especially when medical issues are involved. It is true that meditation has been shown to reduce blood pressure, induce relaxation and other health benefits but it can not solve severe, biological mental illness symptoms in total.

Combining meditation and psychotherapy makes sense if we appreciate how they work in complementary ways. For the most part, meditation focuses primarily on developing capacities such as concentration and awareness, whereas psyschotherpay focuses primarily on changing the objects of awareness, such as emotions and beliefs. Of course there are significant overlaps, but this complimentarity suggests why combining both approaches can be very helpful. Meditative qualities can facilitate psychotherapeutic healing of painful patterns, while the psychotherapeutic healing of these painful patterns can reduce the disruption of spiritual practice.

James: Medication has toned down the volume of distracting stimuli in my head such as the hallucinations and calmed my nerves to enable me the opportunity to actually be able to practice. Before medications I wouldn't have had the patience to meditate due to manic episodes that kept my thoughts racing too fast to have the concentration needed to sit even for a few minutes. It's like trying to do meditation effectively after drinking four pots of coffee in an hour. Either that or I'd be so depressed that I couldn't get out of bed let alone have the motivation and intention to meditate.

So the medication has lowered the volume and reduced the static in my brain to put me in a position where meditation is actually even an option and be able to not just do it but find great benefit from it. I was drowning without medication and the water was up to my mouth and nose so the medications have drained the water down to my chest level. So while it's difficult to walk through chest deep water at least I can now (for the most part) breath comfortably, which gives me the freedom to meditate and have the ability to make progress upon the path that otherwise would be basically impossible. When it comes to using medication in combination with a Buddhist practice there are basically too camps according to the author of this article. First, the purists and second the pragmatists (I fall into pragmatist category):

Spiritual purists argue that if mental suffering is fundamentally spiritual and karmic, spiritual practice alone is appropriate to treat it. Moreover they are concerned that medication may dull or derail spiritual practice. They also worry that medications may reduce or distort awareness, and thereby make practice more difficult. In this view, medications can be novel forms of the "mind clouding intoxicants" prohibited by the lay precepts to which many Buddhists practitioners adhere. Therefore, taking these modern pharmacological agents is tantamount to violating this precept.

James: Let me say that I have found personally (and I've read that this is the case for many others) that my medications do the opposite of "dull or derail spiritual practice," "reduce or distort awarness." Without them I was so depressed, mislead by hallucinations (voices) and detached by dissociation that I was a nihilist believing in nothing and wanting the world to explode to end everyone's misery. At least that's what I thought at the time in my deluded mind.

It wasn't until I started to lower the static in my head through medications that I saw the benefits of spirituality and sought out Buddhism. Before then my mind was clogged and preoccupied with constant mental torment and anguish. It simply didn't have the stability at the time for a spiritual practice. Thus is was before medications that I had a dulled spiritual practice--not after. The medications increased my awareness of reality rather than dull it as they helped sharpen my concentration, focus and attention (I have Attention Deficit Disorder as well) to enable me to actually have a chance at understanding concepts like mindfulness. I know for certain that I'd be spiritual lost still without the addition of medication to give me a somewhat stable mind to build a spiritual foundation upon.

By contrast, pragmatists hold that spiritual practice alone is simply insufficient, or at least not optimal, for healing all mental suffering. While not denying the validity of some purist concerns, pragmatists argue that certain problems and pathologies respond best to other therapies, and one of those therapies can be medication.

James: Buddhism can indeed be more than enough for the regular depression and anxiety that occur with living in samsara. However, those diagnosed with a severe biological mental illness that involves chemical imbalances within the brain need the additional help that comes with proper medication and therapeutic monitoring. It can be very dangerous and irresponsible to prevent someone with severe deperssion from seeking psychiatric help because suicide is a very real threat and should never, EVER be ignored or blown off.

People with a severe mental illness who do not seek medication are usually playing with a loaded gun that could very easily go off in the form of suicide. Some people can get by with herbal supplements and vitamins but most people with severe mental troubles need stronger medicine. I tried the "natural route" and it didn't even cut the symptoms much at all.

The author who is a professor of psychiatry (and a Buddhist) did a study with Buddhist practitioners with suffer from mental illness: Our team of researchers, all physicians and long-term meditators, investigated a group of nineteen Buddhist practioneers (thirteen women and six men) diagnosed with major depression. These practioneers had all been doing meditation, mainly vipassana, for at least three years, had participated in two or more weeklong retreats, and had used antidepressants in the last two years.

Most of our subjects reported that antidepressants helped them with multiple emotional, motivational, and cognitive functions. Emotional changes were consistent with an antidepressant effect. The painful emotions of anger and sadness decreased significantly, but fear showed a smaller response. The positive emotions of happiness, joy, love, and compassion all increased, as did self-esteem. Subjects also felt calmer and that their awareness was clearer. One would expect this kind of result, given that the subjects were no longer wrestling with intense, painful emotions.

Clearly the large majority of these meditators felt that they, and their spiritual practitice, benefited significantly from taking antidepressants. Several subjects reported that the antidepressants enabled them to recommence or significantly improve their meditation and spiritual practice.

James: So while there still is no cure for schizoaffective disorder and while I still suffer from hallucinations, paranoia, bipolar, etc., the medications have given me my life back to where I can pursue things like spritituality. It has allowed me sharpen my awareness of reality and this life whereas before I was living in a kind of fog and everything was out of focus. So I can attest to the benefits of psychotherapy and medications. Thus, when added with meditation and other Buddhist practices it forms a powerful combination that has helped me greatly.

It's time that we realize that interdepenence includes science helping spirituality and spirituality helping science. The two working together can accomplish great things and don't necessarily have to be at odds. Sure there are some tensions between the two groups but there are areas where they fit perfectly and accent each other to benefit a great many people.

~Peace to all beings~

Buddhism and Depersonalization.

One of the symptoms of my mental disorder, Schizoaffective disorder is depersonalization. It is something that I have experienced since I was a child when I would experience out-of-body phenomena in response to stress or anxiety. And the out-of-body phenomena is the best way to describe the main essence of my depersonalization. I slip in and "out of my body" often and before I know it I'm outside looking in and when this happens it feels as though I'm watching my body talk, move and act from a remote location. It reminds me of the movie, "Being John Malcovich" where people can live inside Malcovich's brain for about 15 minutes at a time and witness what he witnesses.

In these moments I feel as though I'm viewing a movie that has me playing a role. I talk but I don't feel like the words are my own but just a computer program that is simulating a conservation. It happens often when I'm in a new environment or with people that I feel uncomfortable around. I have also found that I don't feel physical pain as much when I'm depersonalizing.

I liken it to an escape hatch when the symptoms of my disorder get to be too much to handle, when the hallucinations, delusions or paranoia get too strong. As well as when my anxiety and stress reach a certain level. Part of my condition is that I am almost always in a state of anxiety and stress so that from the outside it looks like it doesn't take much to set me off but in reality its just one final trigger for my brain to handle so I slip out of my body and go on autopilot. The depersonalization also expresses itself when I look at myself in the mirror. I often gaze into my eyes and see someone else behind that image running things. It's stressful because it feels like I am watching a copy of myself but not a happy copy but one who seems to want to cause me trauma. This all said, I have found Buddhism to be like another psychiatrist who has a tried and true prescription for emotional stress--meditation.

When I find myself outside looking in and feel it really interfering with my day or lasting longer than usual I have watered the seeds of good habit energy enough to feel some doer inside that body move for me to get on the meditation cushion. So when I start breathing and concentrate upon that I feel my body and mind return together in union. The breathing is like a gentle guide helping me return to the reality of oneness much like someone helping a person with dementia return to a place of security and peace.

Another good habit that I've developed to help connect me back to my body and present moment is to touch the ground from time to time while meditating as the Buddha did. It helps me feel something tangible that anchors me back into the experience of being. I have also found it helpful to wear a strand of prayer beads or mala around my wrist at all times because it is another physical touch object that brings me back to the present moment. It is comforting to feel a fabricated object touch my skin because it helps me remember that my body is in fact real. It also reminds me at the same time of the teachings of Buddha to remind me that I what I'm experiencing is a delusion which sometimes helps me return to myself.

Buddhism has so much to offer those of us with mental disorders because it is a religion that focuses upon the mind and emotions more than many of the religions that I have studied. It is the religion of psychology and I am hearted that the once distant field of psychology toward religion and spirituality is now opening up to the techniques of Buddhism to help reduce pyschological trauma and stress. So while I also embraced Buddhism for the spiritual teachings it has also been another tool in my toolbox to aid me in dealing with my mental disorder. It is like having an extra medication but without any side effects except peace and stability. I highly recommend that those whoe suffer from a mental disorder and feel like they are being tossed around in a sea of unstability look into Buddhism as a potential foundation to anchor your body and mind into.

~Peace to all beings~

We are All Crazy.

Somewhere in this process, you will come face to face with the sudden and shocking realization that you are completely crazy. Your mind is a shrieking, gibbering madhouse on wheels barreling pell-mell down the hill, utterly out of control and hopeless. No problem. You are not crazier than you were yesterday.

It has always been this way, and you just never noticed. You also are no crazier than anybody else around you. The real difference is that you have confronted the situation; they have not. So they still feel relatively comfortable. That does not mean that they are better off. Ignorance may be bliss, but it does not lead to Liberation. So don’t let this realization unsettle you. It is a milestone actually, a sign of real progress. The very fact that you have looked at the problem straight in the eye means that you are on your way up and out of it.

-Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English

James: Mindfulness in Plain English is a valuable, influential treasure of a book and guide to not just mediation but the nature of being. Henepola Gunaratana is one of those teachers who has a way of speaking bluntly, firmly correcting you in your practice if need be and get you to smile about it.

He knows how to speak to a Western audience partly due to speaking and spending quite a lot of time in the United States.

Speaking to the quote I am reminded of the period in my life when I came to the sobering realization that I had a mental illness. I felt panic at first that I would totally go insane but not too long after I felt relief that finally I had a definition to my struggles. I was forced to come to terms that I had a disease and just knowing that information helped me adjust my focus and stop trying to fight it and embrace it.

And so it is with a mental condition that you have to remain ever mindful of your mental formations/suffering so that you know when to make a course correction in either medication, behavior and/or a general lifestyle change. I think that is part of what led me to Buddhism as in many ways Buddhism is very much a psychological path with it's emphasis on the mind and being mindful so that we are aware of delusions and suffering that appear in our lives. And in that regard meditation is quite like a medication because it often brings the similar relief to our minds that prescription drugs do.

That's not to say that people with a severe, chronic mental condition shouldn't take medicine if prescribed by a psychiatrist but simply a comparison to show how similar Buddhism and the general field of psychology are. Meditation is a very powerful and effective tool to add to my medications to maintain a grounded, sense of stability.

~Peace to all beings~