The Cure.

Just like a fever breaks, last night I felt a deep and rejuvenating release from the rising waters that had crested yesterday with my, "discouraged" post. It isn't the "cure" of liberation from the cycle of suffering and rebirth but rather a break in the fever that is discouragement. Writing out my emotions has long helped me process the disorienting thoughts that ensnares all of our minds. It is a form of honesty, which is a trait that I've been blessed and cursed with. Blessed in the sense that it helps me dissect confusing emotions with direct and exacting examination but cursed only in the sense that such honesty means facing sometimes painful and uncomfortable realities. Yet, despite the discomfort it seems to be one of the most direct and effective ways of dealing with obstacles and discouragement.

This release was initiated with my honest writings yesterday, and the sympathetic comments helped me let go of my guilt that somehow I was "failing" as a Buddhist. Intuitively I knew this deep within the recesses of my mind but hearing it from outside yourself always seems to help convince you that what you suspected is in fact reality, and not just your mind tricking you yet again with another delusion.

So, last night lying in bed I had the most unconventional yet therapuetic meditation. Lying in bed I embraced the exhaustion of the day and just enjoyed the feeling of my tired body being cradled by our cloud-like bed. The soft, soothing, rhythmic breathing of my wife cuddled against me brought me a deep sense of calm. Being fully present in the moment I was aware of my own chest rising and falling with deep, natural breaths. Absorbing the feeling as the boundaries and limits between my body and my immediate surroundings blended into the music of the band, "The Cure." Thus, the title of the post.

Feeling limitless yet grounded at the same time--like the sky stretching from horizon to horizon, free to flow yet held from disappearing into outer space by the grounding power of gravity. As I floated about in this state of pure awareness I soon drifted off in a deep restful sleep. Today I awoke feeling like a huge weight was lifted from my mind. A new day has dawned and yet I am thankful for the reminder lesson I was given in my months of struggle. As they say, "It's always darkness before the dawn" and yesterday was that darkest water mark before it crested and ebbed to make way for pure, stabilizing balance that comes from a deep grounding of oneness.

~Peace to all beings~

Be not Afraid of Growing Slowly.

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

-Chinese Proverb

James: This quote really resonated in my heart today because I often feel like my practice isn't where it should be, but how could it be anywhere except where it is? I must keep reminding myself (gently, of course) that there is no moment but this moment and that you can't get "there" without being here first. I use, "there" in quotations because in this case, "there" refers to realizing enlightenment and liberation from suffering--not an actual destination someplace in the ethereal future as we know that the future is but a hologram.

It can be easy to be discouraged and think, "I'm not meditating enough" or long-enough but even Buddha got discouraged. He studied with several mystics before his enlightenment but was eventually discouraged by their teachings, which he felt unsatisfied with. In addition, he pursued extreme aestheticism only to be discouraged by it. During his meditation under the Bodhi tree, before his enlightenment, he was tempted by desires to abandon his practice. He could have easily given up after all of these events but he pressed on not knowing what would come next until he shattered the hold of the ego and realized enlightenment.

Something else to consider is that our sense of progress is too often seen through the eyes of the mind, which demands immediate, Earth-shattering and over-whelming results. So it can be hard sometimes to see our progress; especially since progress seems to unfold in increments. Yet even the lotus seed has to burst up through seemingly unending layers of mud and inches of murky, shifting water to eventually reach the top of the water to bloom in the sun. Our journey is similar. It seems like an impossible journey yet it has to be such for if the lotus grew instantly to the surface the stem wouldn't be strong enough to hold the enlightened flower.

So, we too must build a strong base or foundation for our practice. Thus, we don't need to worry so much about how "fast" we're growing in our practice. We can only grow as fast as our karma will allow. There is a lesson in everything and just because someone might seem "advanced" on the path doesn't mean they aren't having difficulties on their way to the sun too!! The goal isn't to keep up with some Zen master or those around you whom you consider stronger meditators but rather that we keep growing--period. I realized that wanting to be further along in my practice is giving into the desire for being better than others. It's hard to accept it but that's at the root because why would we be unhappy with our practice if we weren't trying to, not only keep up with others, but outdo them? As if it's a race to see who realizes enlightenment first. No, it's better for me to stay happy with where I am because like it or not, that is the only true reality. The rest is destructive delusion.

~Peace to all beings~

The Compassion of Animals.

The November issue of National Geographic magazine features a moving photograph of chimpanzees watching as one of their own is wheeled to her burial. Since it was published, the picture and story have gone viral, turning up on websites and TV shows and in newspapers around the world. For readers who’d like to know more, here’s what I learned when I interviewed the photographer, Monica Szczupider. On September 23, 2008, Dorothy, a female chimpanzee in her late 40s, died of congestive heart failure. A maternal and beloved figure, Dorothy had spent eight years at Cameroon’s Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue Center, which houses and rehabilitates chimps victimized by habitat loss and the illegal African bushmeat trade. Szczupider, who had been a volunteer at the center, told me: “Her presence, and loss, was palpable, and resonated throughout the group. The management at Sanaga-Yong opted to let Dorothy's chimpanzee family witness her burial, so that perhaps they would understand, in their own capacity, that Dorothy would not return. Some chimps displayed aggression while others barked in frustration. But perhaps the most stunning reaction was a recurring, almost tangible silence. If one knows chimpanzees, then one knows that [they] are not [usually] silent creatures."

James: It touches me deeply that this chimpanzee family lined up to view the dead body of one of their own as it passed by them. It's similar to the funeral possessions that are common amongst humans, which makes sense on one level when you consider that humans and chimpanzees have DNA that is 95-98% similar. In Buddhism we are taught that the human realm offers the best chance for realizing liberation from suffering and the cycle of birth/death. In addition to that it is said that the animal realm is a horrendous station and from what I have observed of the animal kingdom it does seem rather harsh and rough. Sometimes this unfortunately leads people to see animals as "dumb" and that delusion often leads to taking advantage of them.

We do so at our own peril because animals are embedded in our DNA if you believe the generally accepted theory of evolution. Taken a step further in Buddhism, of course we know that we are interconnected to all beings regardless of evolution or not. The molecules that make up our body blend with the molecules that make up the air, which blend into the molecules that make up other people, animals, rocks, water and on and on. It is not a connection we can see with our eyes of delusion but if we look closer with a mindful eye that web of connection shines forth in beautiful and reassuring ways.

Those chimpanzees might not know the Dharma but they do understand love and compassion. How could a mother of any species not have a bond with their offspring that is an expression of concern and care? In my mind, that is but another way of showing and experiencing compassion and love. The uncharacteristic silence of the chimps is something a being wouldn't show if it didn't experience expressions of sorrow and respect. We know chimps are capable of showing respect in how they stratify their family groups. Respect is shown to the experienced and strong male as well as the alpha female.

So they may not know how to liberate themselves from suffering but in my opinion they deserve respect, dignity and a chance at life that we expect for our own offspring. It's not my place to say that someone should be a vegetarian--that's an ego boosting exercise nor it is skillful means. Besides, Buddha didn't set a strict rule about it nor can all people follow a vegetarian diet due to climate and health considerations. I don't eat meat and abstaining from it is for me personally apart of keeping the first precept to avoid violence. However, I struggle with other precepts so I don't have any right to condemn anyone for eating meat -- nor would I do so. I may not eat meat or kill animals but I do still struggle sometimes with verbal violence so I keep working and practicing. There is no point to judging others or guilting people into doing something or not doing something. In addition, people can be very compassionate, loving and caring toward animals regardless of diet. Although for some, vegetarianism might be helpful, rewarding and beneficial to understanding compassion as a universal right.

~Peace to all beings~

The Oasis of Dharma.

The Self cannot be pierced by weapons or burned by fire; water cannot wet it, nor can the wind dry it. The Self cannot be pierced or burned, made wet or dry. It is everlasting and infinite, standing on the motionless foundations of eternity. The Self is unmanifested, beyond all thought, beyond all change. Knowing this, you should not grieve.

-Bhagavad Gita 2 23-25

James: This description of oneness is the kind of wisdom that initially attracted me to Eastern spirituality. As many of you know I was raised in a very strict, dogmatic Christian religion, which shaped my life in every way. Eventually as I matured into adulthood that carefully constructed, isolating world started showing cracks. I could no longer stay in the religion because I began to see it as incompatible with the world I was discovering as an adult.

It didn't fit with the new ideas, concepts and information that I had been sheltered from all those years and my world crashed down around me like a cascading crystal chandelier falling from above. For the first time in my life I felt truly alone, lost and didn't know what or whom to trust. And so like many in this world of chaos, selfishness and suffering I felt overwhelmed. Add modernity's way of diminishing peoples' value and I was living in constant fear and anguish.

I was going through my own process of seeing the true unsatisfactory nature of the real world as Buddha did. I drifted into nihilism and hated just about everything and everyone that I came into contact with and then I began reading books on Buddhism and other Eastern spiritual traditions. I began to see hope and sought out every book and teacher on the subjects that I could find. I was insatiable. It was like I had been wandering in a desert thirsting for relief and stumbling upon a cool, relaxing, refreshing oasis. Except that at this oasis there was a Buddhist master patiently sitting at the side of the clear, clean, crisp pool waiting for me to finish guzzling the water. The water was like the initial gratification of finding Buddhism before realizing that was just the tip of the iceberg. It was as if he smiled and said, "Water is nice but you must find the infinite oasis for lasting relief."

This master (Buddhism) began teaching me not only how to survive the suffering of thirst (greed, anger, delusion--suffering in general) but taught me how to survive traveling through the desert (samsara) in a way that wouldn't be so painful and discouraging. So that one day I would reach my destination (Nirvana--liberation from traveling from life to life in an infinite cycle of suffering) and no longer be lost wandering the disorienting desert (samsara). This of course was the Dharma. I had spent too long just looking for the next oasis (immediate gratification) instead of trying to actually find the way out of the damn desert altogether!! It took Buddhism to show me that life changing discovery.

I was no longer looking through the self-isolating eyes of individualist, materialism. I zoomed out and saw the bigger picture, which made me smaller and I found some much needed relief in that reality. Saying that feeling small made me feel relief might sound odd to those new to ideas of the Higher Self or Oneness. Or to those use to the materialism of the West. However, it helped me feel for the first time that I wasn't alone and that I didn't have to take on this overwhelming world alone.

I was apart of a much bigger essence that could never be diminished, tarnished or taken away regardless of what this sometimes mean and nasty world could present as an obstacle. It gave me a feeling of belonging, true belonging that could never be taken away because how do you take away everything that is? How do you take away Oneness? How can you separate the molecules that make up your body from the molecules that make up the air that surrounds your entire body? How do you then separate the air molecules from those that make up the radiation from the sun that keeps all things on Earth alive? And how do you separate those radiation molecules from dark matter and gravity? So if we are both this body AND air, earth, water, fire, space dust, dark matter and who knows what else--how can you feel alone and lost after knowing all of that? As the quote says,"Knowing this, you should not grieve." It's easy to diminish an individual but impossible to diminish the totality of the all that exists.

I soon realized, however, that it isn't as easy as just making that discovery--it takes a lot more than discovering a mine to find enough to gold to free you from poverty. It's not easy following the path of Dharma but I have seen enough to know that it sure is worth it and better than the alternative. It's easy to forget to look at the compass (not practice the Dharma) while traveling toward the end of the desert (samara) so I keep meditating and breathing my way toward liberation. The funny thing is that in reality there is no desert!!

~Peace to all beings~

The Tank Man. Has Anything Changed Since?

Part IIPart IIIPart IVPart VPart VIPart VIIPart VIII

Let us remember the Tiananmen Massacre and honor the memory of the victims. Freedom, peace and redemption will triumph one day for China. I remember the '89 revolution very well and especially tank man. It has me thinking on this 20th anniversary of my own inner tank man, which is my Buddha nature that stands up to the oppressive power of greed, hatred and delusion. May we all reconnect with our inner tank man.

If tank man can stand up to the overwhelming power of the Chinese authoritarian regime then it gives me hope that I can overcome the things that prevent me from realizing less suffering. First and foremost of course he stands for personal freedoms for China but the lasting power of his example is that the message is universal. It tells me that we are much stronger than we realize and is a powerfully motivating reminder that yes, indeed I will realize liberation because the potential is there and I need that reminder to keep me motivated.

~Peace to all beings~

We are All Crazy.

Somewhere in this process, you will come face to face with the sudden and shocking realization that you are completely crazy. Your mind is a shrieking, gibbering madhouse on wheels barreling pell-mell down the hill, utterly out of control and hopeless. No problem. You are not crazier than you were yesterday.

It has always been this way, and you just never noticed. You also are no crazier than anybody else around you. The real difference is that you have confronted the situation; they have not. So they still feel relatively comfortable. That does not mean that they are better off. Ignorance may be bliss, but it does not lead to Liberation. So don’t let this realization unsettle you. It is a milestone actually, a sign of real progress. The very fact that you have looked at the problem straight in the eye means that you are on your way up and out of it.

-Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English

James: Mindfulness in Plain English is a valuable, influential treasure of a book and guide to not just mediation but the nature of being. Henepola Gunaratana is one of those teachers who has a way of speaking bluntly, firmly correcting you in your practice if need be and get you to smile about it.

He knows how to speak to a Western audience partly due to speaking and spending quite a lot of time in the United States.

Speaking to the quote I am reminded of the period in my life when I came to the sobering realization that I had a mental illness. I felt panic at first that I would totally go insane but not too long after I felt relief that finally I had a definition to my struggles. I was forced to come to terms that I had a disease and just knowing that information helped me adjust my focus and stop trying to fight it and embrace it.

And so it is with a mental condition that you have to remain ever mindful of your mental formations/suffering so that you know when to make a course correction in either medication, behavior and/or a general lifestyle change. I think that is part of what led me to Buddhism as in many ways Buddhism is very much a psychological path with it's emphasis on the mind and being mindful so that we are aware of delusions and suffering that appear in our lives. And in that regard meditation is quite like a medication because it often brings the similar relief to our minds that prescription drugs do.

That's not to say that people with a severe, chronic mental condition shouldn't take medicine if prescribed by a psychiatrist but simply a comparison to show how similar Buddhism and the general field of psychology are. Meditation is a very powerful and effective tool to add to my medications to maintain a grounded, sense of stability.

~Peace to all beings~

Are the Six Realms of Buddhism Real?

I personally do not believe that the six realms are actual "places" that exist outside of ourselves. That being said, I do not know for sure that they do not exist outside ourselves but I'd rather focus on the here and now then what "might" happen. I see these "realms" as states of consciousness being in our present awareness created by the power of our deluded minds. After all we are not just reborn upon our physical death--we are reborn a new each moment of our lives in the here and now. It seems to me that the concept of these realms being "out there" somewhere is a bit unskillful. That is because this idea appears to fortify the unskillful view that there are "places" that are separate from our existence in the here and now. There is no "out there." It seems to simply create worry and trepidation of ending up in a "Hell" which spurs people to follow the Dharma for the wrong reasons--out of fear and desire.

That being said I'd like to move on to the actual "realms" and show how they are working right here and right now.

First I wish to address the "God realm." This is the state of a false sense of "getting it." It is a false reality because there is nothing "to get." We experience this "realm" when everything is going our way. We have everything we could ever want or need--we lack for nothing. We avoid anything that doesn't being us happiness and affirm our feeling of permanent greatness that is manufactured by our ego-mind. This breeds arrogance and pride. We cease to follow and practice the Dharma because we feel that we have "arrived" and thus no longer need to meditate, etc. However, eventually that "happiness" fades and we are left with nothing to show for our "wealth" because we are preoccupied with nothing but our personal satisfaction. We have done nothing to help others with our great blessings and that leaves us feeling empty, hallow and lonely inside. When this realization occurs we struggle to maintain our God-like state by grasping. Thus, inevitably the more we do this the more we suffer which of course leads to falling into the "lower states of being" and the cycle of samsara continues.

Next, there is the "Demi-God realm." This is the state of jealousy and paranoia. We experience this unfulfilling state of consciousness whenever we covet "things." We are jealous of our Dharma teachers. How many times have we said to ourselves that, "I'll be happy when I have this or that??" "I'll be happy in 5, 10 or 20 years" or "I'd surely be happier if I was that person." In this state of mind we compete to outdo others and be "number one." Therefore, before we know it our precious human birth comes to and end and we have wasted our opportunities to practice the Dharma. This leaves us physically and spiritually exhausted for we forget the Dharma's wonderful teachings of being happy with the present moment no matter our material state or position in the world.

Now we arrive at the "Human realm." This is the present moment. This is whenever we are aware of the Oneness of all things. When we are in this state of being we have the best chance to be aware of the Dharma and how skillful and important it is to our liberation. This is why being in this current moment is so important. It is in this state where we have the best chance of liberating ourselves for we have the most potential to study and practice with enough concentration to not only slow our karma but more importantly free ourselves from the cycle of samsara. In the other states of mind we are too preoccupied with less skillful actions to be bothered with practicing the Dharma.

This brings us to the "Animal realm." This is the state of pure ignorance. Wallowing in ignorance we stumble haphazardly through this precious moment of our humanity. We cease to be aware of our mind and give in to the cycle of suffering. We begin to believe that there is no point to anything. We end up following the crowd which can easily and does lead us off the proverbial cliff and into nothing but constant suffering. This is also a state of pure fear. We fear everything and everyone as potential enemies or live in scorn toward others as stupid and worthless--much like the predator/prey cycle of the animal kingdom.

The fifith realm is that of the "hungry ghost realm." We find ourselves in this state by constant craving--nothing satiates our out of control desire. This state of mind occurs whenever we long for the past and try to relive it or change things that can not be changed. Nothing brings us peace. It is also here where we find ourselves gorging on the sensual pleasures. Pleasure in and of itself isn't necessarily "bad." However, the attachment and pursuit of pleasure to the exclusion of everything else--especially the Dharma is what causes so much suffering. The more we indulge the more we suffer and therefore we indulge even more thinking that we can fill the hole of our dissatisfaction in our life through empty spiritual calories. :)

Finally we arrive at the "Hell realm." It is said that anger and hatred typify this state of consciousness and my experience has bore that out. When I am blinded by anger and hatred I live in state of pure suffering. Anger partially arises out of wanting to control things and people and when we can't do this we begin to hate them. These are also the moments when we hate ourselves thus if we hate ourselves how can we have any time for others let alone the Dharma?!! An additional emotion of this state of consciousness is excessive guilt. We attack ourselves for not being perfect--which of course is impossible because perfection is a delusion. If we were "perfect" then we would not be in this present human state. We'd have already reached liberation. It is also in this state where we find ourselves hating our lot in life. We somehow think that we shouldn't have to suffer and then in turn hate suffering itself--which of course creates even more suffering!!! It's total madness. Not only are we not following the middle path--we're not even on the path at all!!! Instead, we are out wandering around in the wilderness of spiritual insanity and risk being lost in moment after precious moment.

Well, that is my humble attempt at interpreting the six realms of existence. One interesting observation I have made upon meditating over these concepts is that I often experience all six of these states through one 24 hour period--sometimes I cycle through them more then once in that same time frame!!!

May this post help us all better understand what dangers to be aware of as we walk along the path of the middle way.

~Peace to all beings~