Sleeping While it Rains.

deluge orchestra
swollen roof drain lullaby--
greenery stretches

~James R. Ure

I have found that some of the most profound lessons from meditative awareness come when I'm drifting off to sleep. It's a time when I'm aware of my breathing more than most times throughout the day. It's also a time when you aren't distracted by the television, computers or other distractions. It's just you and your breath; as each cycle of breath brings deeper and deeper relaxation. Often I crack the window to feel the cool breeze calm my tense muscles and skin; I focus on the smells of clean air pouring through.

So, last night it rained for the first time this Spring. It was a soft but rhythmic shower that filled our rain gutters with gurgling activity. As I listened to the rushing water in the darkness of night, my usually stubborn perceptions couldn't tell if it was a natural stream or a man-made one. In that moment, those perceptions gave up and fell away. In that moment, it was simply bubbling water. As my mind began to relax further, it melded with the sound of the rushing water, so that there was no difference between the water and the entity labeled "James." The next thing I knew, I was waking up.

I think haiku, and Buddhism are so focused on natural themes because the environment constantly evolves in the present moment. Nature adapts to changes without begrudging the changes. It also must balance upon a middle-ground between extremes, or the entire ecosystem will collapse. In addition, the natural world doesn't curse death or cling to life--it just is. It doesn't pass judgments upon itself or any of the sentient beings existing with it. It welcomes life just as much as death--it's just the cycle of existence.

These are all themes that are strongly weaved into the Dharma, and I think Buddha's enlightenment was unlocked in part by his time spent alone in the forests and along the streams of the wilds. So, if you feel that your spiritual practice has gone stale or discouragement has set-in, follow the Buddha's example, and try finding inspiration in nature; it is, after all, your first family.

~Peace to all beings~

Damp Soil Haiku.

spout pours waterfall

damp soil aroma swells lungs
smiling body sighs

By James R. Ure

When cleansing rain touches brittle and cracked soil it expands and swells to life, which allows it to emit that rich, musty scent that is so relaxing. There is something so familiar about this scent that makes me feel so comfortable and balanced. I think it's because it reinforces the reality that I am at one and interdependent upon the saturated earth. Perhaps we feel that instant comfort from wet soil because we recognize the motherly essence of it as so much life springs from it. I know I do.

It's calming effect on me is so instant and consuming that it has often reminded me of how automatic my nerves relax when I catch the scent of my mother. It is the scent of being "home." Another reason I think the smell calms us is because by breathing it in we are very vividly living in the present moment. Wet soil is so common to the basic operations of life that it's hard to not feel profoundly connected to the present moment when intoxicated by its scent.

Interestingly, that rich smell from damp dirt comes from a bacteria that resides within it:

As it turns out, the smells people associate with rainstorms can be caused by a number of things. One of the more pleasant rain smells, the one we often notice in the woods, is actually caused by bacteria! Actinomycetes, a type of filamentous bacteria, grow in soil when conditions are damp and warm. When the soil dries out, the bacteria produces spores in the soil. The wetness and force of rainfall kick these tiny spores up into the air where the moisture after a rain acts as an aerosol (just like an aerosol air freshener). The moist air easily carries the spores to us so we breathe them in. These spores have a distinctive, earthy smell we often associate with rainfall.

~Peace to all beings~

The Cure.

Just like a fever breaks, last night I felt a deep and rejuvenating release from the rising waters that had crested yesterday with my, "discouraged" post. It isn't the "cure" of liberation from the cycle of suffering and rebirth but rather a break in the fever that is discouragement. Writing out my emotions has long helped me process the disorienting thoughts that ensnares all of our minds. It is a form of honesty, which is a trait that I've been blessed and cursed with. Blessed in the sense that it helps me dissect confusing emotions with direct and exacting examination but cursed only in the sense that such honesty means facing sometimes painful and uncomfortable realities. Yet, despite the discomfort it seems to be one of the most direct and effective ways of dealing with obstacles and discouragement.

This release was initiated with my honest writings yesterday, and the sympathetic comments helped me let go of my guilt that somehow I was "failing" as a Buddhist. Intuitively I knew this deep within the recesses of my mind but hearing it from outside yourself always seems to help convince you that what you suspected is in fact reality, and not just your mind tricking you yet again with another delusion.

So, last night lying in bed I had the most unconventional yet therapuetic meditation. Lying in bed I embraced the exhaustion of the day and just enjoyed the feeling of my tired body being cradled by our cloud-like bed. The soft, soothing, rhythmic breathing of my wife cuddled against me brought me a deep sense of calm. Being fully present in the moment I was aware of my own chest rising and falling with deep, natural breaths. Absorbing the feeling as the boundaries and limits between my body and my immediate surroundings blended into the music of the band, "The Cure." Thus, the title of the post.

Feeling limitless yet grounded at the same time--like the sky stretching from horizon to horizon, free to flow yet held from disappearing into outer space by the grounding power of gravity. As I floated about in this state of pure awareness I soon drifted off in a deep restful sleep. Today I awoke feeling like a huge weight was lifted from my mind. A new day has dawned and yet I am thankful for the reminder lesson I was given in my months of struggle. As they say, "It's always darkness before the dawn" and yesterday was that darkest water mark before it crested and ebbed to make way for pure, stabilizing balance that comes from a deep grounding of oneness.

~Peace to all beings~

Walking Meditation Through the Woods.

Feet touch the damp Earth as green, wet leaves stick to well worn heels as they reach a small clearing on the edge of a forest. The smell of Earthy life fills lungs and relaxes muscles. A reverent hush rolls through the emerald forest and the silent figure stops to gaze up into the rain soaked branches just as a cool drop falls upon the fore head--the third eye. The person smiles, breathes deeply and methodically and slowly continues down the meandering path until they disappear into another dense stand of forest as quickly as they appeared. Somewhere a crow announces its arrival.

-By James R. Ure

~Peace to all beings~

PHOTO CREDIT: A misty morning on a section of the Appalachian Trail outside Blairsville on Blood Mountain, the trail’s highest point in Georgia. By Erik S. Lesser for The New York Times.

The Zen of Pain.

I have from time to time heard of monks who can meditate in the freezing cold and maintain a warm body temperature, and those who have a high threshold for pain. Well, it seems that science has proven that meditation helps reduce pain.

AFP, March 3, 2010

Montreal, Canada -- ZEN meditation helps lower sensitivity to pain by thickening a part of the brain that regulates emotion and painful sensations, according to a study published recently. University of Montreal researchers compared the grey matter thickness of 17 Zen meditators and 18 non-meditators and found evidence that practising the centuries-old discipline can reinforce a central part of the brain called the anterior cingulate. "Through training, Zen meditators appear to thicken certain areas of their cortex and this appears to underlie their lower sensitivity to pain," lead author Joshua Grant said in a statement.

Building on an earlier study, the researchers measured thermal pain sensitivity by applying a heated plate to the calf of participants. This was followed by scanning the brains of subjects with structural magnetic resonance imaging (MRI). The MRI results showed central brain regions that regulate emotion and pain were significantly thicker in meditators compared to non-meditators.

James: This isn't news to Buddhism because reports of over-coming pain have been known in Buddhist history for centuries. It is interesting though to see science proving it. It makes sense though that meditation, which regulates the mind would help reduce pain. There is clearly a connection between the mind and body, so it isn't any wonder that Buddhists teach that oneness of body and mind through meditation and mindfulness opens the way for a calmer state of being. This is proving that through meditation one can literally rewire the brain, which surely has something to do with realizing long-term enlightenment.

I have noticed actually a higher pain threshold since beginning my Buddhist practice. I blew it off at first as being pseudo-science experiences but this makes me rethink that position. When I get tattoos I can sit through the pain to where at times it actually feels good!! I think that's in part because I meditate while getting the tattoo. The first few tattoos that I got where quite painful and ironically enough that was a time before I was practicing Buddhist meditation.

This also makes me think of the pain experienced from doing sitting meditation when first starting out or when returning to a dormant practice. Because the more you practice, the less painful it seems to get:

"The often painful posture associated with Zen meditation may lead to thicker cortex and lower pain sensitivity," Grant opined. Several of the meditators tolerated a maximum 53°C produced by a heating plate. They appeared to further reduce their pain partly through slower breathing: 12 breaths per minute versus an average of 15 breaths for non-meditators. "Slower breathing certainly coincided with reduced pain and may influence pain by keeping the body in a relaxed state," Grant said in the earlier study. Ultimately, Zen meditators experience an 18% reduction in pain sensitivity, according to the original study.

James: If everything is interdependent and interconnected then clearly it makes sense that the body can be tempered by the mind when its steered in the right direction. The mind in my opinion isn't entirely useless or bad as some Buddhists might believe. I see it as a wild horse that if tamed, it can accomplish some amazing things. After all, if we shut off the mind completely then we'd be piles of mush unable to be moved to practice compassion, loving-kindness and good will.

ADDENDUM: The blog just surpassed the 400,000 mark of visits--Thanks to everyone for all your visits, comments and conservations. Let's keep it going!! Bowing...

~Peace to all beings~

Zen Meditation Alleviates Pain.

ScienceDaily (Feb. 6, 2009) — Zen meditation – a centuries-old practice that can provide mental, physical and emotional balance – may reduce pain according to Université de Montréal researchers. A new study in the January edition of Psychosomatic Medicine reports that Zen meditators have lower pain sensitivity both in and out of a meditative state compared to non-meditators.

Joshua A. Grant, a doctoral student in the Department of Physiology, co-authored the paper with Pierre Rainville, a professor and researcher at the Université de Montréal and it's affiliated Institut universitaire de gériatrie de Montréal. The main goal of their study was to examine whether trained meditators perceived pain differently than non-meditators.

"While previous studies have shown that teaching chronic pain patients to meditate is beneficial, very few studies have looked at pain processing in healthy, highly trained meditators. This study was a first step in determining how or why meditation might influence pain perception." says Grant.

For this study, the scientists recruited 13 Zen meditators with a minimum of 1,000 hours of practice to undergo a pain test and contrasted their reaction with 13 non-meditators. Subjects included 10 women and 16 men between the ages of 22 to 56.

The administered pain test was simple: A thermal heat source, a computer controlled heating plate, was pressed against the calves of subjects intermittently at varying temperatures. Heat levels began at 43 degrees Celsius and went to a maximum of 53 degrees Celsius depending on each participant's sensitivity. While quite a few of the meditators tolerated the maximum temperature, all control subjects were well below 53 degrees Celsius.

Grant and Rainville noticed a marked difference in how their two test groups reacted to pain testing – Zen meditators had much lower pain sensitivity (even without meditating) compared to non-meditators. During the meditation-like conditions it appeared meditators further reduced their pain partly through slower breathing: 12 breaths per minute versus an average of 15 breaths for non-meditators.

"Slower breathing certainly coincided with reduced pain and may influence pain by keeping the body in a relaxed state." says Grant. "While previous studies have found that the emotional aspects of pain are influenced by meditation, we found that the sensation itself, as well as the emotional response, is different in meditators."

The ultimate result? Zen meditators experienced an 18 percent reduction in pain intensity. "If meditation can change the way someone feels pain, thereby reducing the amount of pain medication required for an ailment, that would be clearly beneficial," says Grant.

James: I'm not too surprised. It's always cool to see science agree with Buddhism because I believe that science and religion have more in common and complement each other more than people might realize. I'm sure that the results would be the same or similar with other forms of meditation--not just Zen meditation. Maybe this is why I have a high pain threshold? When I get tattoos I am able to deal with the pain quite well through the breathing techniques that I have learned via Buddhism.

This reminds of what "Anonymous" said in the last post about one of his teachers going without anesthetic for a minor surgery using the breathing techniques of meditation instead, which is a great example of how to use breathing techniques to alleviate pain. However, not everyone can do this even if they are an experienced meditator so I don't think someone is less of a Buddhist if they choose a general anesthetic. Of course there is a limit to that ability such as if someone needs open heart surgery but if it can help reduce aches and pains as well as even some minor outpatient surgeries then all the better.

That said, sometimes pain medication is necessary and I don't see it as violating the precepts when it is needed as prescribed by a doctor. Of course taking pain medication when not needed becomes the source of pain rather than alleviating it because it creates addiction and eventually can lead to loss of hearing (amongst other suffering) as seen in the American conservative radio talk show host, Rush Limbaugh.

Science and Buddhism can complement each other in many areas if we are willing to look for them and embrace the idea that both play integral roles in our lives. I personally would feel completely lost without Buddhism and meditation. In addition, without science I probably wouldn't be alive today to be able to learn what I have through Buddhism and thus make more progress along the middle-path in this precious human life. Buddhism is teaching science that many spiritual techniques and activities are beneficial and not just some made up nonsense.

Of course there are going to be differences to both schools of thought but if we can focus on what we have in common then I think both sides can reduce the ill-will toward the other, which is a good thing in my view. The less ill-will in this world the better.

PHOTO: Zazen hands. Elheiji (Eiheiji) Zen Monastery, Japan.

Buddhism and Depersonalization.

One of the symptoms of my mental disorder, Schizoaffective disorder is depersonalization. It is something that I have experienced since I was a child when I would experience out-of-body phenomena in response to stress or anxiety. And the out-of-body phenomena is the best way to describe the main essence of my depersonalization. I slip in and "out of my body" often and before I know it I'm outside looking in and when this happens it feels as though I'm watching my body talk, move and act from a remote location. It reminds me of the movie, "Being John Malcovich" where people can live inside Malcovich's brain for about 15 minutes at a time and witness what he witnesses.

In these moments I feel as though I'm viewing a movie that has me playing a role. I talk but I don't feel like the words are my own but just a computer program that is simulating a conservation. It happens often when I'm in a new environment or with people that I feel uncomfortable around. I have also found that I don't feel physical pain as much when I'm depersonalizing.

I liken it to an escape hatch when the symptoms of my disorder get to be too much to handle, when the hallucinations, delusions or paranoia get too strong. As well as when my anxiety and stress reach a certain level. Part of my condition is that I am almost always in a state of anxiety and stress so that from the outside it looks like it doesn't take much to set me off but in reality its just one final trigger for my brain to handle so I slip out of my body and go on autopilot. The depersonalization also expresses itself when I look at myself in the mirror. I often gaze into my eyes and see someone else behind that image running things. It's stressful because it feels like I am watching a copy of myself but not a happy copy but one who seems to want to cause me trauma. This all said, I have found Buddhism to be like another psychiatrist who has a tried and true prescription for emotional stress--meditation.

When I find myself outside looking in and feel it really interfering with my day or lasting longer than usual I have watered the seeds of good habit energy enough to feel some doer inside that body move for me to get on the meditation cushion. So when I start breathing and concentrate upon that I feel my body and mind return together in union. The breathing is like a gentle guide helping me return to the reality of oneness much like someone helping a person with dementia return to a place of security and peace.

Another good habit that I've developed to help connect me back to my body and present moment is to touch the ground from time to time while meditating as the Buddha did. It helps me feel something tangible that anchors me back into the experience of being. I have also found it helpful to wear a strand of prayer beads or mala around my wrist at all times because it is another physical touch object that brings me back to the present moment. It is comforting to feel a fabricated object touch my skin because it helps me remember that my body is in fact real. It also reminds me at the same time of the teachings of Buddha to remind me that I what I'm experiencing is a delusion which sometimes helps me return to myself.

Buddhism has so much to offer those of us with mental disorders because it is a religion that focuses upon the mind and emotions more than many of the religions that I have studied. It is the religion of psychology and I am hearted that the once distant field of psychology toward religion and spirituality is now opening up to the techniques of Buddhism to help reduce pyschological trauma and stress. So while I also embraced Buddhism for the spiritual teachings it has also been another tool in my toolbox to aid me in dealing with my mental disorder. It is like having an extra medication but without any side effects except peace and stability. I highly recommend that those whoe suffer from a mental disorder and feel like they are being tossed around in a sea of unstability look into Buddhism as a potential foundation to anchor your body and mind into.

~Peace to all beings~