A Great Bodhi Day (Rohatsu) Message.

One of the reasons that I refer to the month of December as, "the holidays" in America is because it's so much more than Christmas. The Jews celebrate Chanukkah, the Muslims Ashura and many African-Americans celebrate Kwanzaa. And, for Buddhists we celebrate the enlightenment of Buddha on this day, December 8th. In honor of his endeavor, many Buddhists spend the day or month in meditation and honor his memory through acts of kindness. Often meat eating Buddhists will buy and release an animal that was in captivity--usually fish.

For this year, I found a great little piece by Roshi Pat Enkyo O'Hara. It is a great angle on how modern day, average Buddhists can take a moment to celebrate/honor the day despite a hectic schedule and life:

The legend says that as he gazed at the morning star, he said, "How marvelous, I, the great earth, and all beings are naturally and simultaneously awakened." This phrase teaches us the great lesson of interdependence, that we are not separate from all that is, but rather we are interconnected, a piece of the grand whole of the universe. And at the same time, this very piece, this "I" sitting here is an integral and vital component of the whole. When we take care of this "I", we can take care of the whole universe. So, even if we cannot devote a week or a full night but are only able to meditate for a few minutes on Bodhi Day, it can be a reminder of the wisdom that is naturally available to us, the wisdom of cultivating our minds and recognizing our relation to the whole.

James: Each year, on Bodhi day, I sit and picture all the Buddhists in the world and imagine us all together in one place, sitting united to awaken to peace in oneself, and peace in the world as Thich Nhat Hanh says. Then I broaden that picture to include the world and imagine people seeing us all sitting. Then watching them gravitate toward that peaceful energy to just sit with us, regardless of religion; to simply enjoy that moment--together, as a world, as a species, as a planet. It always makes me smile and recharges me for the new year. So, to you, dear reader; I wish you a peaceful Bodhi day and Happy New Year.

~Peace to all beings~

Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve.

They say that the body is a temple and I agree, which might seem odd to some spiritualists because in several religious traditions to mark the skin is considered desecration. I feel that the body is one of the most beautiful works of art known to the human eye and that it only seems natural to honor it by adorning it with meaningful and inspirational designs. Just like monks might adorn a temple with mantras, spires, statues, sculpted trim and other accents that express the sacredness of the Dharma practice unfolding within its walls.

And, so it is that I received my latest mark (seen above) to remind me of letting go of feeling separate from others and all forms of life expressing itself in this time and place that I find myself. It is the Heart Sutra mantra that speaks to that oneness. I'm not going to get into the specifics of the sutra and mantra in this post, but if you want to dig deeper then click on that link above "Heart Sutra mantra." Anyway, the tattoo is a constant, visual reminder to help me transcend the compartmentalization of life, which prevents us from being present and one with the inspiring potential of each moment. If seen with a mind anchored in pure, direct awareness there is no event incapable of being seen as beneficial to our practice.

I am mostly a visual learner and my Dharma tattoos serve (in part) as visual, symbolic teachers constantly reminding me of how to live with less suffering--Regardless of wherever the winds might carry me. It is like having my teacher with me on my arm at all times. It's very powerful as a reminder. However, more importantly they help remind me how to bring less suffering into the lives of those I know, love and meet. The tattoos allow me to bring the temple and the Dharma with me where ever I go. The fact that they are so visual and prominent makes them hard to ignore and forget their lessons like can happen to me with memorized lines that can easily drift off into the gray areas of my memory while caught up and absorbed in life's daily chaos.

Tattoos aren't for everyone and I would never hastily recommend marking your body with permanent ink. If you think you would like a tattoo, it's important to research ahead of time, understand the implications and make sure you get a design that you can live with for the rest of your life. As with any big decision it should be made with full awareness (mindfulness) of the process. Remember, these are the symbols and messages that will represent YOU as a person.

The script used for the tattoo is Siddham--a form of Sanskrit, which is an Indian language used heavily in Hindu and Buddhist literature. The design is by my Dharma brother, Jayavara. Thanks Brother Jayavara!!

ADDENDUM: The title of this post, "Wearing your heart on your sleeve" is a play on words. It is an American idiom that means someone who freely and openly express their feelings. In America at least the heart has been traditionally seen as the center of feelings, and being that it's located where my "sleeve" would be I thought it would be an witty title for this post.

~Peace to all beings~

The Cure.

Just like a fever breaks, last night I felt a deep and rejuvenating release from the rising waters that had crested yesterday with my, "discouraged" post. It isn't the "cure" of liberation from the cycle of suffering and rebirth but rather a break in the fever that is discouragement. Writing out my emotions has long helped me process the disorienting thoughts that ensnares all of our minds. It is a form of honesty, which is a trait that I've been blessed and cursed with. Blessed in the sense that it helps me dissect confusing emotions with direct and exacting examination but cursed only in the sense that such honesty means facing sometimes painful and uncomfortable realities. Yet, despite the discomfort it seems to be one of the most direct and effective ways of dealing with obstacles and discouragement.

This release was initiated with my honest writings yesterday, and the sympathetic comments helped me let go of my guilt that somehow I was "failing" as a Buddhist. Intuitively I knew this deep within the recesses of my mind but hearing it from outside yourself always seems to help convince you that what you suspected is in fact reality, and not just your mind tricking you yet again with another delusion.

So, last night lying in bed I had the most unconventional yet therapuetic meditation. Lying in bed I embraced the exhaustion of the day and just enjoyed the feeling of my tired body being cradled by our cloud-like bed. The soft, soothing, rhythmic breathing of my wife cuddled against me brought me a deep sense of calm. Being fully present in the moment I was aware of my own chest rising and falling with deep, natural breaths. Absorbing the feeling as the boundaries and limits between my body and my immediate surroundings blended into the music of the band, "The Cure." Thus, the title of the post.

Feeling limitless yet grounded at the same time--like the sky stretching from horizon to horizon, free to flow yet held from disappearing into outer space by the grounding power of gravity. As I floated about in this state of pure awareness I soon drifted off in a deep restful sleep. Today I awoke feeling like a huge weight was lifted from my mind. A new day has dawned and yet I am thankful for the reminder lesson I was given in my months of struggle. As they say, "It's always darkness before the dawn" and yesterday was that darkest water mark before it crested and ebbed to make way for pure, stabilizing balance that comes from a deep grounding of oneness.

~Peace to all beings~

Nyogen Roshi: Everything is Contained Right Where You Sit.

~Peace to all beings~

The Zen of Pain.

I have from time to time heard of monks who can meditate in the freezing cold and maintain a warm body temperature, and those who have a high threshold for pain. Well, it seems that science has proven that meditation helps reduce pain.

AFP, March 3, 2010

Montreal, Canada -- ZEN meditation helps lower sensitivity to pain by thickening a part of the brain that regulates emotion and painful sensations, according to a study published recently. University of Montreal researchers compared the grey matter thickness of 17 Zen meditators and 18 non-meditators and found evidence that practising the centuries-old discipline can reinforce a central part of the brain called the anterior cingulate. "Through training, Zen meditators appear to thicken certain areas of their cortex and this appears to underlie their lower sensitivity to pain," lead author Joshua Grant said in a statement.

Building on an earlier study, the researchers measured thermal pain sensitivity by applying a heated plate to the calf of participants. This was followed by scanning the brains of subjects with structural magnetic resonance imaging (MRI). The MRI results showed central brain regions that regulate emotion and pain were significantly thicker in meditators compared to non-meditators.

James: This isn't news to Buddhism because reports of over-coming pain have been known in Buddhist history for centuries. It is interesting though to see science proving it. It makes sense though that meditation, which regulates the mind would help reduce pain. There is clearly a connection between the mind and body, so it isn't any wonder that Buddhists teach that oneness of body and mind through meditation and mindfulness opens the way for a calmer state of being. This is proving that through meditation one can literally rewire the brain, which surely has something to do with realizing long-term enlightenment.

I have noticed actually a higher pain threshold since beginning my Buddhist practice. I blew it off at first as being pseudo-science experiences but this makes me rethink that position. When I get tattoos I can sit through the pain to where at times it actually feels good!! I think that's in part because I meditate while getting the tattoo. The first few tattoos that I got where quite painful and ironically enough that was a time before I was practicing Buddhist meditation.

This also makes me think of the pain experienced from doing sitting meditation when first starting out or when returning to a dormant practice. Because the more you practice, the less painful it seems to get:

"The often painful posture associated with Zen meditation may lead to thicker cortex and lower pain sensitivity," Grant opined. Several of the meditators tolerated a maximum 53°C produced by a heating plate. They appeared to further reduce their pain partly through slower breathing: 12 breaths per minute versus an average of 15 breaths for non-meditators. "Slower breathing certainly coincided with reduced pain and may influence pain by keeping the body in a relaxed state," Grant said in the earlier study. Ultimately, Zen meditators experience an 18% reduction in pain sensitivity, according to the original study.

James: If everything is interdependent and interconnected then clearly it makes sense that the body can be tempered by the mind when its steered in the right direction. The mind in my opinion isn't entirely useless or bad as some Buddhists might believe. I see it as a wild horse that if tamed, it can accomplish some amazing things. After all, if we shut off the mind completely then we'd be piles of mush unable to be moved to practice compassion, loving-kindness and good will.

ADDENDUM: The blog just surpassed the 400,000 mark of visits--Thanks to everyone for all your visits, comments and conservations. Let's keep it going!! Bowing...

~Peace to all beings~

Heart Sutra Mantra.

Om gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha!! This is from the Heart Sutra mantra, which speaks of transcending thoughts and concepts to reside in the pure essence of being at peace and at one with all. Oneness that is beyond all dualities. In my understanding, to be able to reside in that place of balance between somethingness and nothingness, regardless of circumstances is tasting the enlightenment of Nirvana.

~Peace to all beings~

Waking Up to Oneness.

-Special thanks to my friend Jamie over at Progressive Buddhism for showing me this video.

~Peace to all beings~

The Oasis of Dharma.

The Self cannot be pierced by weapons or burned by fire; water cannot wet it, nor can the wind dry it. The Self cannot be pierced or burned, made wet or dry. It is everlasting and infinite, standing on the motionless foundations of eternity. The Self is unmanifested, beyond all thought, beyond all change. Knowing this, you should not grieve.

-Bhagavad Gita 2 23-25

James: This description of oneness is the kind of wisdom that initially attracted me to Eastern spirituality. As many of you know I was raised in a very strict, dogmatic Christian religion, which shaped my life in every way. Eventually as I matured into adulthood that carefully constructed, isolating world started showing cracks. I could no longer stay in the religion because I began to see it as incompatible with the world I was discovering as an adult.

It didn't fit with the new ideas, concepts and information that I had been sheltered from all those years and my world crashed down around me like a cascading crystal chandelier falling from above. For the first time in my life I felt truly alone, lost and didn't know what or whom to trust. And so like many in this world of chaos, selfishness and suffering I felt overwhelmed. Add modernity's way of diminishing peoples' value and I was living in constant fear and anguish.

I was going through my own process of seeing the true unsatisfactory nature of the real world as Buddha did. I drifted into nihilism and hated just about everything and everyone that I came into contact with and then I began reading books on Buddhism and other Eastern spiritual traditions. I began to see hope and sought out every book and teacher on the subjects that I could find. I was insatiable. It was like I had been wandering in a desert thirsting for relief and stumbling upon a cool, relaxing, refreshing oasis. Except that at this oasis there was a Buddhist master patiently sitting at the side of the clear, clean, crisp pool waiting for me to finish guzzling the water. The water was like the initial gratification of finding Buddhism before realizing that was just the tip of the iceberg. It was as if he smiled and said, "Water is nice but you must find the infinite oasis for lasting relief."

This master (Buddhism) began teaching me not only how to survive the suffering of thirst (greed, anger, delusion--suffering in general) but taught me how to survive traveling through the desert (samsara) in a way that wouldn't be so painful and discouraging. So that one day I would reach my destination (Nirvana--liberation from traveling from life to life in an infinite cycle of suffering) and no longer be lost wandering the disorienting desert (samsara). This of course was the Dharma. I had spent too long just looking for the next oasis (immediate gratification) instead of trying to actually find the way out of the damn desert altogether!! It took Buddhism to show me that life changing discovery.

I was no longer looking through the self-isolating eyes of individualist, materialism. I zoomed out and saw the bigger picture, which made me smaller and I found some much needed relief in that reality. Saying that feeling small made me feel relief might sound odd to those new to ideas of the Higher Self or Oneness. Or to those use to the materialism of the West. However, it helped me feel for the first time that I wasn't alone and that I didn't have to take on this overwhelming world alone.

I was apart of a much bigger essence that could never be diminished, tarnished or taken away regardless of what this sometimes mean and nasty world could present as an obstacle. It gave me a feeling of belonging, true belonging that could never be taken away because how do you take away everything that is? How do you take away Oneness? How can you separate the molecules that make up your body from the molecules that make up the air that surrounds your entire body? How do you then separate the air molecules from those that make up the radiation from the sun that keeps all things on Earth alive? And how do you separate those radiation molecules from dark matter and gravity? So if we are both this body AND air, earth, water, fire, space dust, dark matter and who knows what else--how can you feel alone and lost after knowing all of that? As the quote says,"Knowing this, you should not grieve." It's easy to diminish an individual but impossible to diminish the totality of the all that exists.

I soon realized, however, that it isn't as easy as just making that discovery--it takes a lot more than discovering a mine to find enough to gold to free you from poverty. It's not easy following the path of Dharma but I have seen enough to know that it sure is worth it and better than the alternative. It's easy to forget to look at the compass (not practice the Dharma) while traveling toward the end of the desert (samara) so I keep meditating and breathing my way toward liberation. The funny thing is that in reality there is no desert!!

~Peace to all beings~

Where Science and Buddhism Meet.

Where Science and Buddhism Meet from Gerald Penilla on Vimeo.

~Peace to all beings~

The Big Sit Day 3.

Well today is day three of the meditation challenge and I'm going strong. I have been meditating before the start of the challenge but it's great to have this chance to do this with people from all over the world, which feels like a virtual 90 day retreat. I thought of all of humanity as if meditating in one beautiful mass whether morning, noon or night I figured someone was most likely meditating while I was and that was a beautiful thought.

Oneness rose softly yet steadily and firmly into the present moment yesterday while meditating as concentration focused on the cycle of breathes. Soon I was just aware of the breathing and felt as though I was riding in a vast ocean of oneness from wave to wave as my identity slipped from my minds grip with ease. In that moment I was the ocean and the wave but neither at the same time. It made me feel small but not in an insignificant way but rather in a liberating way.

I'm contemplating the genjokoan and hope to have some insights in the days to come.

~Peace to all beings~

Burmese Monks Defy Ban on Private Relief Efforts.

Myanmar's military government, which has a relief hub just 10 miles north in the town of Bogalay, has not delivered aid to scores of remote villages like this across some of the most devastated areas of the Irrawaddy River delta. For now, the villagers' only hope is goods that arrive from time to time in an underground supply chain operated by Buddhist monks in Bogalay, who are defying the ban on private relief operations in the delta.

James: The Burmese Sangha has shown such courage and compassion toward the people from the protests last year to helping victims of the recent cyclone. They clearly understand the importance of compassion to the point of risking their own lives and safety to help as many people as they can. All despite many monasteries being destroyed and severely damaged.

Their efforts are even more noble when you consider that the monks themselves don't have a lot and usually rely upon the laity for their food. Yet here they are giving and helping in any and all ways they can. However, I'm not surprised being how centered in oneness that these monks know and practice. They intimately know the interconnected between all beings and that helping others is not different and no less important than helping oneself.

It is not an exaggeration to say that monks are trained to help the people. Their vows are quite centered upon working for the betterment and liberation of the people from suffering and their response to the aftermath of this disaster is a powerful expression of those values.

They are a cherished example for me in how to deal with severe suffering in my own life and in the lives of other people. The monks have suffered as much as the people and yet they are being pro-active and not wallowing in their sorrow. They are a wonderful example that helping others can help ease our own suffering. Too often when I am in deep pain and suffering I retreat from others into a place where I feel self-pity as if I am the only person suffering in the world. The monks are a beautiful reminder of why I do my best to follow the Dharma.

In the confusion of the aftermath of cyclone nargis many believe that it was the result of the "bad karma" of the victims. That, however, is somewhat short-sighted says one Burmese monk, "If the government would have warned people, they would not have died. So this disaster is not karma; it is a natural case of cause and effect by humans."

~Peace to all beings~

Martin Luther King Jr. Killed 40 Years Ago but the Vision Lives On.

(The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. standing in an office with a picture of Gandhi, his hero on the wall).

Forty years ago today the great race and civil rights peace activist Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated. In that moment there were many in the civil rights movement who feared that Martin's vision of equality amongst all races, religions and ethnic groups would die with him. However, his wave of peaceful, loving energy had planted seeds of hope and change within the hearts of millions just as those same seeds had been planted in his heart from the example of Gandhi.

Just as those seeds grew within his mind, he knew that the fertile seeds of his vision would transfer from one person to the next via the winds of inevitable change to each new generation. He understood the peaceful power of oneness and inter-connection. He understood that with each new generation the seed would grow stronger, the roots would dig deeper and that that the tree would eventually ripen the fruit of his labors and bring about the change needed.

And that tree has indeed grown into a vibrant, strong one that has born much fruit to where today we are on the cusp of the possible election of America's first African-American president.

So while we still have work to do I think that Dr. King would be proud of what we have done with the vision that he left us to fulfill.

May we continue to pass those seeds of equality and tolerance to all those whom we meet along our path.

While we represent different cultural and ethnic branches of humanity may we always remember that we are all still apart of the same vibrant tree.

~Peace to all beings~

My Nephew Ethan.

My brother and his son Ethan are here visiting for the holidays and it has been fun to spend time with them both but especially the little guy. He is so sweet, innocent and brimming full of happiness. He is two years old and full of life, joy and full belly laughs.

<---(James with Ethan in his red pajamas).

He refers to himself as "Ethan" rather then, "me" or "I." For example, "Ethan like milk," or "Ethan do it." He still hasn't grasped the whole duality delusion and so it is beautiful to watch a pure being like himself who hasn't made the distinction between his name, himself and the world around him yet.

He sees things as nameless right now, a reality that we adults spend hours meditating to redevelop. He is starting to understand though that he is being forced into a world that is obsessed with distinctions, labels, perceptions and the worship of the individual.

Therefore he keeps asking what objects are "named" and feels frustrated when he can't figure out our complex language of parsing words and splitting the reality of oneness into trillions of pieces. (Above: Ethan playing with this toy helicopter)

I think that one of the reasons that we enjoy children and need them around (besides keeping humanity going) is that they are some of the best teachers around. They remind us to take pleasure in that little bug crawling along in the dirt, to laugh a lot and not be afraid to act silly. They remind us to accept people for who they are rather than feeling we have to change everyone to fit our model of, "How people should act/live."

Ethan, I love you buddy.

~Peace to all beings~

My Teachers, the Leaves

The last few weeks have been very difficult for me and my wife. Things have been very stressful with a lot of problems swirling around our minds from financial problems due to my schizo-affective illness, Medicare dropping my insurance plan and trouble with my medications. I have found myself having bad reactions to my new medicine, Wellbutrin. It has been making me too stimulated and left me bordering on full blown mania. I have been quick to anger while taking it, to the point of being enraged over the littlest things. I wanted to give the Wellbutrin (or Hellbutrin as I call it) some extra time to work itself out because it has less side effects than other anti-depressants

That uncontrolled rage scared me since I haven't experienced that for years as I've been relatively stable with my long-time drug regiment. It was a major red flag that signaled the end of my patience toward the newly introduced drug. My psychiatrist wasn't convinced at first that I should go off the medicine but my therapist/councilor persuaded him to change his mind. So today is the fourth day off Wellbutrin and I feel much better. I feel much more stable emotionally and better prepared to deal with the stressful matters in my life mentioned above.

The other issue is that I got out of my meditation routine and haven't sat on the cushion in weeks. So right after I post this I am going to get back on track and meditate. I am going to do a metta meditation for others and myself to help heal and recover from the devastating events of the last few weeks. As well as help me win some breathing room to better deal with the continuing problems. That being said, sometimes meditation can make things worse if you're engaging in it out of a feeling of obligation, guilt or force. Sometimes it is better when you are feeling really angry to try and calm down through taking a walk/other exercise, read a peaceful book or other activities then meditate with the wrong intention. You don't want to come to resent the practice.

I have let the weight of the weeks events crush my happiness and it has left me in a place where I have been vulnerable and given in to self-pity. So today I began to dig myself out of the pit of defeatism by doing something for someone else. This time of year in Colorado, USA we experience a season called fall/autumn which sees a drop in temperature and crisp, dead, golden and auburn colored leaves falling off the trees, piling up to create drifts. So I tied on my shoes, went outside and began to rake up the leaves scattered across our lawn and my two neighbors lawns. We live in small houses that are all connected with a shared tract of land in the back but three separate, little front yards. Our neighbors are all elderly and the one man is very sick and needs oxygen.

It felt really good to forget myself and just clear up the lawns of the leaves. The minute I stepped outside, the fresh air invigorated my body and mind and brought the present moment sharp into focus. There was a slight breeze blowing around, making the vividly colored leaves dance in front of me. I smiled watching the performance and began to mindfully rake the fallen foliage. As I pulled the rake back and forth across the ground my self-pity began to fade away to be replaced by love of the beautiful nature just meters outside my front door. Then I felt gratitude fill my heart that I have decent health to help my neighbors with the yard work. I delighted in the soothing sound of the light, fluffy, rustling leaves being constructed into orderly piles. I breathed deeply and mindfully as I picked up clusters of leaves and placed them into the waste container.
How funny I thought that we call dead leaves, "waste" when they are still very useful. When piled up they are great fun for children, dogs (and fun loving adults) to jump into. It is like jumping into a large heap of feathers or what I imagine jumping into a large heap of feathers would be like.
Leaves also make great fertilizer in the spring, so no, they are not "waste." The wasteful activity in regards to dead leaves would be not to recycle them for plant fuel. Luckily our city picks up the "yard waste" and deposits it into a large compost pile at a recycling center where the finished fertilizer can be bought in the spring.

I gave of myself freely today and yet I feel like I gained much more. I am always pleasantly surprised at how many teachers there are waiting to help us if we just open our eyes through mindfulness and see with honest awareness. So many times over the last few weeks I was so self-absorbed that I didn't realize I was walking right over the top of my patiently waiting helpers and teachers, the leaves. It is like going on a great trek to the top of a mountain to visit a great teacher for wisdom, advice and peace while in the mean time we become annoyed by the rocks, tree branches, streams and leaves that seem to block our path on the way to the top.

Finally when we reach the top we tell the great teacher how hard our journey was and how difficult it was to reach him. Telling him how annoying the branches and rocks were on the way up making our trip more difficult. And maybe we would even get angry at him for not maintaining the path to make visiting easier. How silly we would look to the great teacher that we became annoyed with the leaves that we saw as blocking our path and slowing us down on our route to the top of the mountain to see the "real teacher!!" Surely that wise teacher would smile, perhaps laugh and tell us that we passed many great teachers that we could learn just as much, if not more from on the way up to see him!! And maybe we'd look confused and say, "I did not pass anyone old man!! You must be senile!! Do you take me for a fool?!! I see now that my journey up here as been a waste." To which he'd mostly likely respond, "Did you not pass many tree branches, rocks, streams and leaves?" "Well yes, of course and I already told you they were quite annoying!!" we'd respond. "Well then, you did indeed pass many great teachers!! I can not offer you anything up here. Go back and talk to the trees and the streams and you will find your answers and peace.

I bow to the leaves that helped me return to myself while assisting others at the same time. And while the leaves will clutter up the lawns again in a few days, I won't whine but rather smile, knowing their return is their commitment to teach me Oneness yet again. I am so grateful for my patient teachers who return again and again as many times as needed to help me understand.

What a beautiful world we are blessed to live in!!

A second post for today is below this one (gassho) _/I\_

~peace to all beings~

Merging with Autumn and Preparing for Winter

There is a noticeable bite in the air these last few days around here. The vibrant energy of summer is slowing down and the season of harvest and contemplation is upon us. Autumn is a beautiful time of year and gives us the precious opportunity to pause and reflect upon the changes that we have gone through in the waning year. It is a time to give thanks for all the bounteous things that grace our lives. For instance, just the other day I was marveling over having warm, clean, fresh water at my fingertips. There is so much hard work and knowledge that has gone into granting me the convenience of indoor plumbing and I am very grateful. I am very aware that many in this world do not have that luxury and I pray that they will one day be able to enjoy such a blessing.

Autumn is a beautiful time of year when everything is vibrantly changing to make way for the long winter sleep. The trees begin to turn color to put on a glorious art show before shedding them to conserve energy for the cold days to come. Animals grow thicker fur and hair to adapt to the chill. It is a wonderful season to contemplate upon impermanence and how joyful change can be. I find the change in seasons to be one of the most potent pieces of evidence of impermanence and the existence of the cycle of birth, death and rebirth that one can experience. It reminds us that while we continue to base our state of being around desire, we will encounter the suffering of being cold and feeling aches in our aging bodies. What better reminder to work toward one's liberation then a cold, aching body!!

Soon winter will set in and slow us down and bring us to a state of rest. Winter is a time of quiet and peace if we allow ourselves to move beyond the physical suffering of the cold and snow. The more we can reside in a state of Buddha-nature or Onenes we better realize that winter isn't all about suffering. It is a time to regroup, study and contemplate where we wish to go in the next year. It is a period of setting goals and re-evaluating our state of being. Of course this is needed at all times during the year but there is something about winter that makes such action more accessible.

If you do not live in a climate that experiences severe cold and snow then the same can be experienced during the cold rains that force one to be indoors more and spend more time with oneself.

Yes, Autumn and winter will soon settle in around us and we will once more experience the awesomeness of change. As with all things we tend to only look at one side of an idea such as with change. I think that I often look at only the pain side of change and not the beauty and wonderful lessons that can lie within such adjustments.

PHOTO: What a beautiful face on this Buddha statue. Here is Buddha reminding us to enjoy the changing seasons.

~Peace to all beings~

Meditation with the Buddha Within

I have been having some awful nightmares of late and was talking with my therapist about it and she had a suggestion. She said that since meditation works so well for me that I should try and do a mini-meditation before bedtime--one that concentrated solely upon getting ready for sleep. So a big part of that for me has been breathing deeply and letting the days events bubble up into my head as I lie there on the bed and physically breath them out of my mind and body. So last night I was doing this and kept letting go of things and felt things really fall away from my True Nature of Oneness and soon I merged into a soft, deep sleep.

The next thing I realized I was sitting on the steps of a Grecian style pool floating out in the middle of the stars. It was Grecian in that it had a couple of steps all around the edges of the pool rather then a sharp wall like a traditional western style pool and the corners of the pool were squared a bit with little landings just above the water level. There were small Cyprus style tress on the outer edges of the four corners and on the very outer borders was a crystal clear, light sapphire colored water that flowed around the perimeter of the pool and cascaded down the steps into the pool at four locations along the sides of the large basin.

In a flash I was comfortably floating in the pool that had no bottom--just more stars twinkling down through the crystal cool sapphire-like water. I was surrounded by beings--all of whom I knew one way or another and they knew me. A few I recognized from this life and others I knew from previous lives but our meeting was like we had never left each other's sides. It was state of pure realization that emptiness is form and form is emptiness. Human bodies were only being presented as means to interact with these various frequencies of energies. It was a joyous reunion for everyone. I have never seen such beaming smiles, sparkling eyes and sincere embracing. It really was energy reuniting with other forms of energy--the various energies of ones karma--pure being reuniting with those of others to form the all-uniting enegry of pure love. The love was so powerful yet soft and comforting--it was the oxygen.

Soon everyone's attention came to these two beings of light that were sitting on chairs at the head of the pool where a second little jacuzzi style pool formed behind them. They took the form of humans but it was easy to tell that these beings were Buddhas. Interestingly enough, one was a barrel chested man with a long, wirery grey beard and tattoos down his arms and legs--my kind of Budda!! The other was a woman who looked very much like my mother in white flowing robes and hair of spun gold that danced like the stars in the background. It seemed from others' reactions, however, that they saw a different man or woman depending on their own experiences and then it dawned on me--the man or woman we were seeing was who we are as Buddhas!! We were looking at our True Natures!!! That realization made my body pulse and vibrate with love, compassion and thankfulness to the Universe and the power that is within all things that has always been and will always be in one form or another.

In the next moment we were all being given various clothing to wear--all the while floating in this water which has some kind of spiritual rejuvenating power within it. These clothes were to be taken symbolically rather then to be taken literal. I was given a lovely suit that had all kinds of sparkles and ruins on it that glowed when I put it on. The minute I laid my eyes upon it I recognized it as a past life--and a wonderful one at that. I can't remember all the details of this life but I do remember it was a powerful one that reminded me of my True Nature and potential.

There were other revelations and teachings during this "reunion" of sorts that I can not remember and I wish that I could. However, sometimes you do not need to know the specifics of something to remember the more important essence behind the teaching--and that is the feeling of understanding and peace that comes with it. From what I can remember however, these were direct one-on-one meditations sessions with your inner self--my inner Buddha. The old tattooed guy with a long, stringy grey bread. Hehe. I seem to recall that there was a joining of minds, a oneness that was achieved to where I could have clear vision, insight and awareness of my Buddha nature. Wisdom that I dearly needed to be reminded of at this time in my life.

Perhaps the reason that I can not describe it further is because there are really no words to describe enlightenment and that floating along the edges of Nirvana. I had no sense of time while I was in that intense union meditation with my inner Buddha so when I ended my session and rejoined the group I was sad to see it was time for everyone to depart company. Tears flowed like water but they were tears of joy--tears that we had had this precious moment--this wonderful, present moment to reunite in form to grow and learn in a "power session" and remember that we do not need form to reunite in the beautiful emptiness of Oneness that is in our nature at all times and places.

I awoke earlier then usual but feeling more rested then I would otherwise at this time in the morning. As I slowly returned to my awakened state I would feel tears of joy slightly leak from my eyes and I realized that my tears were of that same liquid that was in that pool. Our tears are precious liquid--powerful aids in our lives. Those drops of joy were joined by a soft yet resolved half-smile. I then closed my eyes for a time to try and remember as much as I could to write this all down. Then got up, made some coffee and typed this out. I hope that you will find something in this journey of mine that might spur you on or remind you of how precious and wonderful you are and that this moment is. How cherished a gift that this human state is from our Buddha within.

I am so thankful to my Buddha nature and to all those wonderful beings that I reunited with and to all things, beings, energies and Buddhas throughout space and time for giving me that wonderful moment. I had a rough couple of weeks with my illness and I really needed that healing, reminder and retreat to give me the energy to recommit to my practice.

May all beings and energies remember the True Nature of things and remember the beautiful power of Oneness. May we all remember and feel that Oneness so that we can awaken from our samsaric slumber and help each other awaken as well--and remain awake. In order that we realize our Buddha Nature that was always there and always will be. So that we might all merge brightly with the indescribable pure suchness of Mahaparinirvana. The unconstrained, True Self that is said by the Buddha in the Nirvana Sutra to be "indestructible as a diamond."

I bow to the Buddha within you all and within this body they call "James."

~Peace to all beings~

The Candle of Inspiration

The glowing flickering light cuts through the darkness as the sharp diamond of the Dharma cuts through the blackness of delusion. It stands as a beacon--burning sharp and bright to remind me of the insight that comes from the pure awareness of mindfulness. Each time I look upon it I smile and remember to breath. I bow to the Buddha within the candle. Thank-you for this teaching and reminder. I stand humbled by the awesome yet peaceful nature of Oneness.

May all beings light a candle and feel its inspiring nature to help burn away attachments.

~Peace to all beings~

PHOTO: This is my crystal stone candle holder.

Are the Six Realms of Buddhism Real?

I personally do not believe that the six realms are actual "places" that exist outside of ourselves. That being said, I do not know for sure that they do not exist outside ourselves but I'd rather focus on the here and now then what "might" happen. I see these "realms" as states of consciousness being in our present awareness created by the power of our deluded minds. After all we are not just reborn upon our physical death--we are reborn a new each moment of our lives in the here and now. It seems to me that the concept of these realms being "out there" somewhere is a bit unskillful. That is because this idea appears to fortify the unskillful view that there are "places" that are separate from our existence in the here and now. There is no "out there." It seems to simply create worry and trepidation of ending up in a "Hell" which spurs people to follow the Dharma for the wrong reasons--out of fear and desire.

That being said I'd like to move on to the actual "realms" and show how they are working right here and right now.

First I wish to address the "God realm." This is the state of a false sense of "getting it." It is a false reality because there is nothing "to get." We experience this "realm" when everything is going our way. We have everything we could ever want or need--we lack for nothing. We avoid anything that doesn't being us happiness and affirm our feeling of permanent greatness that is manufactured by our ego-mind. This breeds arrogance and pride. We cease to follow and practice the Dharma because we feel that we have "arrived" and thus no longer need to meditate, etc. However, eventually that "happiness" fades and we are left with nothing to show for our "wealth" because we are preoccupied with nothing but our personal satisfaction. We have done nothing to help others with our great blessings and that leaves us feeling empty, hallow and lonely inside. When this realization occurs we struggle to maintain our God-like state by grasping. Thus, inevitably the more we do this the more we suffer which of course leads to falling into the "lower states of being" and the cycle of samsara continues.

Next, there is the "Demi-God realm." This is the state of jealousy and paranoia. We experience this unfulfilling state of consciousness whenever we covet "things." We are jealous of our Dharma teachers. How many times have we said to ourselves that, "I'll be happy when I have this or that??" "I'll be happy in 5, 10 or 20 years" or "I'd surely be happier if I was that person." In this state of mind we compete to outdo others and be "number one." Therefore, before we know it our precious human birth comes to and end and we have wasted our opportunities to practice the Dharma. This leaves us physically and spiritually exhausted for we forget the Dharma's wonderful teachings of being happy with the present moment no matter our material state or position in the world.

Now we arrive at the "Human realm." This is the present moment. This is whenever we are aware of the Oneness of all things. When we are in this state of being we have the best chance to be aware of the Dharma and how skillful and important it is to our liberation. This is why being in this current moment is so important. It is in this state where we have the best chance of liberating ourselves for we have the most potential to study and practice with enough concentration to not only slow our karma but more importantly free ourselves from the cycle of samsara. In the other states of mind we are too preoccupied with less skillful actions to be bothered with practicing the Dharma.

This brings us to the "Animal realm." This is the state of pure ignorance. Wallowing in ignorance we stumble haphazardly through this precious moment of our humanity. We cease to be aware of our mind and give in to the cycle of suffering. We begin to believe that there is no point to anything. We end up following the crowd which can easily and does lead us off the proverbial cliff and into nothing but constant suffering. This is also a state of pure fear. We fear everything and everyone as potential enemies or live in scorn toward others as stupid and worthless--much like the predator/prey cycle of the animal kingdom.

The fifith realm is that of the "hungry ghost realm." We find ourselves in this state by constant craving--nothing satiates our out of control desire. This state of mind occurs whenever we long for the past and try to relive it or change things that can not be changed. Nothing brings us peace. It is also here where we find ourselves gorging on the sensual pleasures. Pleasure in and of itself isn't necessarily "bad." However, the attachment and pursuit of pleasure to the exclusion of everything else--especially the Dharma is what causes so much suffering. The more we indulge the more we suffer and therefore we indulge even more thinking that we can fill the hole of our dissatisfaction in our life through empty spiritual calories. :)

Finally we arrive at the "Hell realm." It is said that anger and hatred typify this state of consciousness and my experience has bore that out. When I am blinded by anger and hatred I live in state of pure suffering. Anger partially arises out of wanting to control things and people and when we can't do this we begin to hate them. These are also the moments when we hate ourselves thus if we hate ourselves how can we have any time for others let alone the Dharma?!! An additional emotion of this state of consciousness is excessive guilt. We attack ourselves for not being perfect--which of course is impossible because perfection is a delusion. If we were "perfect" then we would not be in this present human state. We'd have already reached liberation. It is also in this state where we find ourselves hating our lot in life. We somehow think that we shouldn't have to suffer and then in turn hate suffering itself--which of course creates even more suffering!!! It's total madness. Not only are we not following the middle path--we're not even on the path at all!!! Instead, we are out wandering around in the wilderness of spiritual insanity and risk being lost in moment after precious moment.

Well, that is my humble attempt at interpreting the six realms of existence. One interesting observation I have made upon meditating over these concepts is that I often experience all six of these states through one 24 hour period--sometimes I cycle through them more then once in that same time frame!!!

May this post help us all better understand what dangers to be aware of as we walk along the path of the middle way.

~Peace to all beings~

All is Buddha

Each form, each particle, is a Buddha. One form is all Buddhas. All forms, all particles, are all Buddhas. All forms, sounds, scents, feelings, and phenomena are also like this, each filling all fields.

-Pai-chang

James: This quote reminds me of one of my favorite poems by the Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche

Happiness cannot be found

through great effort and willpower,

but is already present,

in open relaxation and letting go.

Don't strain yourself,there is nothing to do or undo.

Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind

has no real importance at all,

has little reality whatsoever.

Why identify with, and become attached to it,

passing judgment upon it and ourselves?

Far better to simply

let the entire game happen on its own,

springing up and falling back like waves --

without changing or manipulating anything --

and notice how everything vanishes and reappears, magically,

again and again,time without end.

Only our searching for happiness

prevents us from seeing it.

It's like a vivid rainbow which we you
pursue without ever catching,

or a dog chasing its own tail.

Although peace and happiness do not exist
as an actual thing or place,

it is always available

and accompanies you every instant.

Don't believe in the reality

of good and bad experiences;

they are like today's ephemeral weather,

like rainbows in the sky.

Wanting to grasp the ungraspable,

you exhaust yourself in vain.

As soon as you open and relax

this tight fist of grasping,

infinite space is there --

open, inviting and comfortable.

Make use of this spaciousness, this

freedom and natural ease.

Don't search any further.

looking for the great awakened elephant,

who is already resting quietly at home

in front of your own hearth.

Nothing to do or undo,

nothing to force,

nothing to want,

and nothing missing --

Emaho! Marvelous!

Everything happens by itself.

PHOTO: The Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche.

The World is an Illusion

When the world arises in me,
It is just an illusion:
Water shimmering in the sun,
A vein of silver in mother-of-pearl,
A serpent in a strand of rope.

From me the world streams out
And in me it dissolves,
As a bracelet melts into gold,
A pot crumbles into clay,
A wave subsides into water.

-Ashtavakra Gita 2: 9-10

James: This is an appropriate message today as it is has been raining heavily all day and it has been such a calming energy. I stare out into the driving rain and I am one with each droplet. It has been a wonderful meditation for me through out the morning and now afternoon.

I subside into the rain.

As the rain poured down I wondered why I wasn't seeing a huddle of birds that I normally see on stormy days such as this and then I realized the feeder was empty!! I ran outside and went to fill the feeder and in doing so found two wasps stuck in the feeder that were barely moving. I rescued them with a stick and put them up against the wall under the patio to dry out. I hope they make it through this day but I doubt it. If they do have their continuation day today then I hope that they are reborn in a state where they can find and realize liberation.

PHOTO: "Rain Drops on Pine Branch Needles" by Eric Kamp.

~Peace to all beings~