George Clooney Hungry for Sack of Potatoes Tails Kidman

[click to enlarge]

Gotcha! That's Nicole Kidman cradling newborn Sunday Rose as they exit the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden, London with a Clooney-esque driver bringing up the rear.

When, oh when will we get a good look at that growing baby?

Jodie Marsh Hogs Red Carpet Roundup

A fourth judge will join American Idol when the program returns in January, 2009. Kara DioGuardi appeared in New York for a promotional event with fellow judges Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell, and Randy Jackson. According to producer Simon Fuller, the format change is supposed to bring "a new level of energy and excitement to the show."


The 65th Annual Venice Film Festival kicked off with a screening of "Burn After Reading," a dark comedy from the madcap Coen Brothers featuring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Tilda Swinton, and Frances McDormand. The farcical spy movie is one of only five American entries competing for the Golden Lion, the Festival's top honor for best picture. Organizers blame fallout from last year's writers strike.


Brendan Fraser greeted fans at the premiere of The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor in Sydney, Australia. The movie, starring Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello, John Hannah, Michelle Yeoh and Aussie actor Luke Ford, opens down under on September 11th.


Daylight Robbery premiered at the UK's Apollo West End Cinema with reality star Jodie Marsh hogging the limelight. Actually, that's not all she was hogging. The film follows a group of English football fans using the World Cup as a bank robbery cover.


Star power is in full bloom at The Democratic National Convention. Sighted in Denver: Annette Bening, Spike Lee, Kal Penn, Cyndi Lauper, Anne Hathaway, Sheryl Crow, Danny Glover, John Legend, Dave Matthews, Pete Wentz, Ben Affleck, Alan Cumming, Tim Daly, Josh Lucas, Susan Sarandon, Rachel Leigh Cook, and stars of The GRAMMY's Rock The Convention Concert.



American Idol host Ryan Seacrest rang the New York Stock Exchange closing bell on Tuesday. NYSE Euronext Executive Vice President Larry Leibowitz joined Seacrest for the final gavel. Stocks ended mixed on concerns about the path of Hurricane Gustav, offsetting a better than expected reading on consumer confidence.

Dissecting Angelina Jolie Politics Won't Secure Seat at the Lunch Table

Oh those MSNBC celebrity puff pieces. Wherever would The Spewker be without them?

It's a news broadcast. It's a gossip tabloid. No silly, it's two, two, two "this-country-is-going-to-hell-in-a-handbag" moments in one.

Yes, I feel like a "celebretard" following the political nuances of actress and UN Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie. Doesn't everybody?

So, she's an independent who hasn't endorsed a presidential candidate. So what? Will it matter to the middle class when she decides whose political platform best serves starving children in Africa? Do working poor care about the world refugee crisis when they can't pay their own heating bills?

Could Bob Costas be any more of an insensitive neanderthal peppering President Bush with questions while possible Olympic swimming history unfolds?

I love how Keith Olberman uses VH-1's Paul Tompkins as political sounding board. Like the Hannity & Colmes of Politicelebritopia, this spot plays like a mathlete dissecting the cool clique's perceived shortcomings, jealous of all the fawning attention paid Jolie, emasculating her baby daddy as "press agent," and whining about her making him feel bad.

A pathetic longing for a seat at the Jolie-Pitt-Clooney lunch table disguised as investigative reporting. As if.

The George Clooney Curse, Lohan Christian Values, and Other Celebolitic Shorts

This site isn't the only one mixing up politics and celebrities. In today's "Bastard Child," a sampling of mutant celebolitic spawn from around the country.

Does dating George Clooney cause a curse on future hapiness? Yes, according to Britain's Next Top Model judge Lisa Snowden. "It's not something I planned but I just don't get asked out any more. Men seem to look at me and think, 'She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?'" The 36-year old model also says her five year on-again-off-again relationship with Clooney hurt her career.

Australian Idol winner Kate DeAraugo won't be hawking diet products on behalf of weight loss conglomerate Jenny Craig. Citing "personal health issues," the break-out star is otherwise mum about the reason for the split.

Actor Richard Dreyfus wants his money back. In a lawsuit filed last Friday against his father and uncle, Dreyfus claims damages of $870,000.

Michael Lohan says his Christian faith would prevent him from giving away famous daughter Lindsay in a gay wedding ceremony. When discussing Lindsay's public love affair with DJ Samantha Ronson, Lohan insists he wants his daughter "to be happy." Guess that Christian faith didn't get in the way of puportedly fathering Lindsay's illegitimate half-sister Ashley.

The "Lonely Loony" aka the "Lusty Lord of the Manor of Warleigh" David Piper, who once advertised for a Lady of the Manor and attracted applications from all around the world, is selling "his whole life" on eBay and hasn't ruled out the possibility of throwing himself into the bargain.

I pity the fool who thinks Mr. T is homophobic. Nevertheless, T pelted a wiggling yellow clad speed walker with candy bars, screaming "You are a disgrace to the man race. It's time to run like a real man" and "Get some nuts!" in a UK Snickers commercial. The ad was pulled after gay rights groups complained.

A dispute over a 1988 film of the late Rodney Dangerfield has been settled. Dangerfield's daughter, Melanie Roy-Friedman, allowed Comedy Central to air the master copy of her father's act without permission from stepmother Joan. Under the terms of settlement all copyrights to Dangerfield's act are held by his widow, Joan Dangerfield.

The upcoming Democratic National Convention promises a roster of stars reading like a Hollywood premiere. Big name celebrities are expected to attend parties hosted by AT&T, MTV, and Rock The Vote. Kanye West, Wyclef Jean, the rap/rock fusion band N.E.R.D., Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Forrest Whitaker, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Cheryl Hines, and Ed Norton Jr. are just a few of the A-Listers convention spokesman Chris Lopez will neither confirm nor deny are on the guest list.

Can't decide who to vote for in the upcoming presidential election? Why bother with political platforms when pop culture icons might influence the vote? John McCain favors Batman, ABBA, Roy Orbison, Linda Ronstadt, Usher, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Dexter, Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Dennis Hasbert in 24. Barack Obama favors Batman, Spiderman, Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Sheryl Crow, John Coltrane, M*A*S*H, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Shrek the Third, and Jeff Bridges in The Contender.

Katie Holmes Goes Molly and Mo' Gossip

To beef up the profile of our virtual Hollywood correspondent Moan Quivers, we're starting a new Monday morning weekend wrap of tacky gossip and related oddities. No relation to celebrity politics whatsoever. Moani needs more to do around here.

Oh, oh, I'm so excited. I finally get my own regular weekly feature. This is such a step up from that tired pink bot. Thanks, peoples! I'll try not to let you down.

IT'S MOAN QUIVERS !! Wow. I'm getting slightly misty-eyed. Play it, Bruno!

No, wait. That was my other gig. Ah-hem, moving on.

These Aussie guys are party animals. Haimish and Andy, get it? You'd have to be really old. These two aren't. Feeling a tad kindred spirit with young Andy, if that is indeed his real name.

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom continue to deny rumors of a break-up. Kissy-kissy. Next time don't be so public when cozying up to the grease.

Peek-a-boo Nahla Ariela Aubrey (aka Halle Berry's daughter). Oh, show her blink'n face already! That kid's gonna be driving a car before we get a good gawk at her.

Britney Spears would be meshuganeh to poo-poo her parents now. She looks better at this Generation Rescue gala than she has in years. Brit's back in the recording studio and taking a stab at a comeback. Now if she would drop that hideous paparazzo and date some normal people, I might have to stalk other places for dirt.

Daisy, sweetheart, no doubt you are the inspiration for this incredibly funny SNL skit. Dave, darling, there are better scraps in the dumpster.

I feel like I'm reading a spy novel. "The departure began at 3:50 a.m. .... minibus with darkened windows ... sudden spray of light ... very quickly organizing themselves inside ... 'Pouf!' they were gone." No wonder the French reported the birth of Brangelina's twins as a major American news event.

Katie Holmes has been channeling her inner Molly Ringwald. TomKat must be on the prowl for Hilary Swank roles.

Ooooo. Kelly Osbourne engaged? Doooo tell!

Dumkopf. If you hadn't pressured him to marry you in the first place you'd still be together. Sarah pines for George. Duh.

Speaking of pressure, if Jennifer Aniston knows what's good for her, she'll stop swooning all mooney-eyed. Dog Norman has taken an intense disliking to new beau, John Mayer, for good reason, I'm sure.

One of our favorite producer/directors Brett Ratner will be working with his Rush Hour trois star Chris Tucker again. The two plan to bring a big tell all Sinatra biopic to the big screen.

Brenda's back. Shannen Doherty will return for multiple guest spots on the new Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off, 90210. That muffled sound you hear is Aaron Spelling turning over in his grave.

So... ya think they should expand this spot to a daily?

Kung Fu Panda Kicks Chinese Behind

Since we can't seem to retaliate against the Chinese for poisoning our toys, tainting our pet food, and hacking sensitive computer operations, let's make 'em scream at the box office like a little girl. I'm talking a good old fashioned American patootey whooping.

Hiiyyyeeaa!

Over the protests of loyalists and nationalists, Chinese audiences turned Kung Fu Panda, Dreamworks latest animated feature film, into one of China's biggest summer blockbusters, grossing more than $12 million in a little less than two weeks. Chicken feed for Hollywood but big bucks in a country rife with piracy and anti-American sentiment. The movie is showing in various cities throughout the Communist regime, including the recently devastated Sichuan Province.

I don't know what's more idiotic, trying to exact retribution against Steven Spielberg by boycotting his production company's fluffy entertainment piece or withdrawing from the Beijing Olympics in an attempt to pressure the Chinese government to end genocide in Darfur. As if.

Look, I applaud the efforts of Spielberg, Mia Farrow, George Clooney, and everyone else trying to end the horrific Sudanese tragedy, but mixing politics with a world sporting event, or for that matter a benign cartoon, is a at best a symbolic effort making not an iota's worth of difference. The arts end up taking the brunt of the beating, a sad casualty of well-meaning but misguided efforts to rid the world of government oppression.

Just look at what they did to Harvey Weinstein. You tell me that isn't tit for tat.

Clooney Larson Dirt on the Fly

The return trip from L.A. was difficult.

Not because of the turbulence or the fifty minute layover in Philly. Not because we left our el Lay hosts at 8:45 a.m. and didn't deplane at BWI until 10:00 p.m. Not even because of the change in weather, which after nothing but blue skies and sunshine made the light spring sprinkling a welcome respite.

No, the difficulty had more to do with leaving a carefree life of celebrity-like luxury and returning to a ho-hum lackadaisical existence of every day reality, if you catch my drift.

For a blogger like me, the fantasy of catching celebs on the fly was pretty exhilarating. I'm not a news maker by any means, but still managed to catch a tidbit here and there.

For instance, while hanging out on Rodeo Drive I talked up a security guard who became rather chatty. Turns out he had spotted a party for George Clooney within the past few months, one involving an appearance by Charlie Sheen. Of course I was more interested in the Clooney-Larson break up. The guard confirmed Sarah had been pressuring George for an engagement. "George is a man" is the expression he used, meaning a man who wants to stay single will stand his ground against anyone, even the perfect female compliment as I have heard Sarah described. She's been going around portraying George as a lout, but the guard thinks he kicked her out before she could concoct a scheme to get pregnant. At least that's the word on the tony streets of Beverly Hills.

Can't dig up this kind of dirt in Baltimore, hon.

Yeah, so, that's why I'm now struggling to regain my bearings. Reduced to just another blip competing with over 70 million blogs for breaking news, if you believe this video.

Now when my mother-in-law asks me about my "pom" I won't have to explain for the umpteenth time about blogs and how they operate. I'll just email this link. Dear thing, has no idea why they call it a blog, nor why I bother to pen one. How's that for a confidence builder?

CNN Sinks to Toilet Humor for News

Did CNN just run a story about the space station toilet being on the fritz? With guest commentary? And illustrative video? What is wrong with these people, talking about number one and number two on national television. What -- the Sarah Larson and George Clooney breakup not titillating enough for everyone? OMFG.

On Location Correspondent: I'm in the zero gravity chamber, looking at the space station toilet. I am in the toilet. Repeat. In the toilet.

CNN News Anchor (under her breath): So are we.

The state of national news has really deteriorated. Doing my part to spice things up, I'll be spending the day in beautiful downtown Pasadena, California, and then to Studio City for an According to Jim taping. Yes, we found a show that was actually still in production. And the weather? Absolutely fanfreakntabulous.

Celebrity Endorsements Continue to Litter 2008 Election Trail

Are they still counting the votes in California? The local rag sent out an early edition marking the star studded state undecided. Thankfully, it now makes updates via the Internet.

I wonder how technology resistant and financially challenged people get their news? Certainly not at the public library, at least not in the "City That (supposedly) Reads."

Still too close to call for the Democrats. Wow. For the first time I can remember (actually, for the first time since I started to care), a Maryland primary is going to matter. I wonder if the campaigns will send celebrities. The state is, after all, bright blue.

I for one would drop everything if George Clooney took a detour into town. Yes, Gorgeous George can count on my vote for Obama, but only if I get to take a cell phone picture with my arms wrapped around his well-tailored waist (must keep eyes peeled for hastily scheduled appearances on campaign trail). Too bad he left that U.N. thingee in Manhattan, although can't say I blame him. Clooney arrived directly from a technical assessment mission in Sudan only to be excluded from a meeting of power players. Luckily, he did manage to get a word in edgewise. Way to go, George! Hunky and tenacious. Is it any wonder he sets hearts aflutter?

Of course, the stars had no problem turning out in California and the Tri-State Area. There were so many, it's kinda difficult to keep tabs. Then again, a CNN camera crew had no problem at all.

Let's see, Jack, Laura Linny, and Spielberg, for She-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named. Scarlett, De Niro, and California First Lady for Obama. Just a sampling of the new endorsements rolling down the pike. It would take all day to flesh out every single one. Not that I am in any way influenced by these high profile preferences. No one should be. I'm just psyched by the possibility of catching me some glitterati.

On primary day, celebrities head for the polls just like other civic minded individuals. Along the way, entertainment correspondents vie for attention. Much like exit polls, voters need to digest these celebrity sound bites with a grain of salt. Like everyone else, celebrities pull the lever, punch the chad, or touch the screen in complete secrecy, free from extraneous control and the prying eyes of correspondents. Unless they're flashing their notoriety on the campaign trail, no one really knows which candidate they support.

And isn't that part of what makes America great?

Writers Strike Kicks Golden Globe Awards in the Teeth

The entertainment industry is in trouble when my children begin complaining about the current wasteland that is television.

For more than ten weeks, the Writers Guild of America has taken its cause to the streets, going head to head with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, giving the evil eye to late night TV hosts, putting the kibosh on sexy award shows, and digging their heels in for the long haul. ABC Studios recently ratcheted things up a notch by terminating writer development agreements and work contracts. Things seem to be going south fast.

The reasons behind all this misery are not difficult to understand. For anyone still in the dark, a humorous explanation from former SNL alumna Tim Kazurinsky should clear up any misconceptions.



Last night, one of the premiere award shows, the Golden Globes, was reduced to a press conference with video clips. Tinseltown continues to mourn. Calling the format entertaining would be a stretch, although seeing the whole program in under an hour definitely had its advantages. Sure, I missed the red carpet, the glitz, the dresses, and all the interviews, don’t get me wrong. However, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t spend an entire evening glued to a television set just to find out the names of the winners. There's something to be said for streamlined viewing.

Sadly, the Academy Awards may fall victim to the same fate. Advertisers are scouting alternatives. Things have gotten so precarious, the cavalry is headed for Dodge. All around nice guys Tom Hanks and George Clooney have offered to mediate. No word on whether the feuding Hatfields and McCoys have decided to come in from the rain.

As a writer myself, it’s hard not to sympathize with the WGA. They just want their piece of the pie, not a kick in the crack. Writers suffer stints of unemployment like everyone else and need residuals to help carry them through. Studio heads insist they aren’t turning a profit on the Internet, yet they’ve been whistling a different tune to their shareholders. Writers deserve better.

Offering a cut of net profits is not the solution. Creative accounting techniques can make profits look like deficits. No, the studios must cough up a percentage of gross advertising revenue to end the strike. The Guild recently negotiated similar deals with Worldwide Pants, David Letterman’s production company, United Artists, and The Weinstein Company.

If it’s too much to ask fat cat media conglomerates to follow their lead, then conglomerates will have to suffer the consequences. Just like when television exploded in the 1950’s, thereby relegating radio to a back seat, so too will the Internet explode. Television could then head into a tailspin from which it may never recover. Public viewing preferences will change.

When the dust settles, I have a feeling the writers will land on their feet. They can jump ship to the Internet if that’s where the audience lands. But studio heads may not be as lucky. Their ships may become empty vessels.

Premiere Hollywood Event Showcases Talent of Johnny Grant, Dead at Age 84

Another end of an era. Glitterati across America are in mourning over the death of the unofficial Mayor of Hollywood, Johnny Grant. He was 84 years old.

Grant was unmarried. He did not leave behind any children. Some might say the entire town of Hollywood was his family. Grant was a human dynamo, a relic of a bygone time. Show business pulsed through his veins. He transformed a moribound event no one would attend into a world famous bells and whistle ceremony known as the Hollywood Walk of Fame. An actor himself, Grant may hold the record for hosting the most public events as master of ceremonies. He loved the spotlight, people, and hobnobbing with the powers that be. Johnny Grant was civic minded as well as patriotic. In the tradition of Bob Hope, he traveled overseas to encourage and entertain our troops.

I did not know Johnny Grant, nor did we ever meet in person. I'm sure he was the kind of guy I would have liked from the getgo. Last summer, I came across the hands and feet ceremony for Ocean's 13. Very early on in the video, an obnoxious paparazzo screams directions at Brad Pitt. Pitts's churlish reaction was not well received and event monitors quickly snuffed out a fire. Still, the harassment continued. Tensions started to mount. Johnny never missed a beat, not even when the front of his podium fell apart. He kept the crowd calm, put the paparazzi in their place, ad libbed when it was needed, and moved the ceremony along. Despite the common behavior of certain cameramen, the event remained quite classy.

I kept thinking to myself, Hollywood doesn't have a mayor. Who is this odd little man and why is he with all those glitzy Tinseltown superstars? He doesn't seem very glitzy himself. Yet anyone can see from this video that Grant evoked tenderness and respect from the highest echelons. I've never seen a man off the street so revered. Now, in his passing, I realize Johnny Grant was no ordinary man.

Go in peace and tranquility, little mayor of a town who will forever remember you as a man of great stature. May your embedded star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame serve as a beacon of light for all who dream of riches and immortalty.

As he once thought about Mickey Rooney, if Johnny can do it, anyone can.

Celebrity Presidential Endorsements on Parade

Less than three weeks from the first primary election of 2008, celebrity presidential endorsements are hitting the big time. Oprah made her big splash for Obama last week after Streisand, Bill, Mrs. Rodham, and Chelsea went to bat for Hillary.

Before that, of course, we had Clooney, Halle, and Matty The Sexiest Man Alive for Barack. And before any of them hit the scene, way back over the summer, there was Taryn Southern in "Hot4Hill" and that spicy little Obama girl who got plastered all over TV. Suddenly, there's Chuck for "Huck," and Lieberman for McCain, not to mention Fred Thompson who is a celebrity in his own right. The other candidates have some Hollywood appeal as well, but apparently not enough to make the national news media stand up and applaud.

How can anyone help but notice all the Tinseltown draped over Election 2008? The parade of celebrity endorsements keeps going and going and going ad naseum like the Energizer Bunny in a bad Twilight Zone episode. Rod Serling could not have conceived of anything more terrifying, I mean, the thought of all these celebrities somehow influencing voters to cast their ballot for the celebrity's choice of presidential candidate is positively horrifying. Barbra Streisand is a wonderful entertainer with a voice like buttah, but honestly, what does she know about running America?

There's no sense in complaining. There are too many Americans who are too busy to pay attention to the presidential election and/or don't have the brains or interest to care. These are the same people who will vote for a candidate because Oprah tells them to, or because they want a minority in office, or because they like the way a candidate plays a guitar on stage. Forget about foreign policy, or ability to lead, or domestic policy....none of that actually matters.

It's gotten so bad that if a candidate hasn't gotten a celebrity endorsement of some sort by now, they might as well throw in the towel. Otherwise qualified candidates like Dodd, Biden, Tancredo, and Hunter (if you just said "WHO?" out loud, you really have not been following the election and don't deserve to cast a vote in the primary) haven't got a prayer. These men lack the necessary star power, will not pass their screen tests, and mark my words, will start dropping like flies after February 5th.

This is the state of politics in 2008. A hundred years from now, someone will look back on this moment and designate 2008 as the year politics became undone. Slowly, slowly, ever since Reagan became president, America has been drifting into a Hollywood mindset, equating the ability to lead a nation with the ability to open a movie, electing presidents the same way they become fans of movie stars.

Quiet! That twilight zoney music is playing faintly in the background. Oh, no, wait, it's the theme song from Back to the Future.

Might as well have some fun with this. Like a celebrity parade before it passes by, everyone on the other side of the baricades should stop and watch the action. Yeah, that's the ticket. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Think of each video as an overblown Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade float.

Just be careful to avoid getting subliminally slimed.

Celebrities Served 12.13.07

This is the first edition of a new feature here at The Spewker. A roundup of political and legal news culled from the world of entertainment:

1. The home of the “Voice of Los Angeles,” could be razed rather than preserved as a national landmark. The new owner claims Bukowski was a Nazi sympathizer. [utchmynitz]

2. Akon plead not guilty to criminal charges for tossing a young fan off a concert stage earlier this year. [pravda]

3. PETA is targeting Olsen twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley, for killing animals to look attractive. [dumbasscelebrities]

4. Media mogul Conrad Black was sentenced to 6-1/2 years in prison for fraud and obstruction of justice. [canoe]

5. Gary Collins has been charged with driving under the influence, but somehow escaped prosecution for manslaughter after his accident victim died. [latimes]

6. Daniel Baldwin’s lawyer wants an arrest warrant dismissed, claiming his client's failure to appear for a scheduled hearing was an honest mistake. [celebnewsupdate]

7. Speaking of mistakes, everyone’s favorite screw-up skipped a scheduled court deposition in her pending child custody case. [babble]

8. Madonna is battling the board of her luxury apartment for blocking her purchase of a neighboring property. [timessquaregossip] Madge recently horrified animal activists by dying her sheep rainbow colors for a spread in Vogue. [thenews]

9. In more New York housing battles, following a dispute with her landlord, Bianca Jagger was evicted from her home. [showbizspy]

10. Looks like a home isn't a castle on either coast. Burglars hit the Hollywood Hills estate of Charlize Theron. [13wham]

11. Shia LaBeouf can breathe a sigh of relief. Walgreens dropped trespassing charges against the handsome Transformers and Disturbia star. [stuff]

12. Handsome rules the day in awards news. George Clooney and Don Cheadle received the 2007 Nobel Peace Summit Award today. [thenews] Clooney is planning a second profile raising trip to Darfur next month to increase awareness of human suffering. [moono] His documentary about the war torn region, A Journey to Darfur, will air this Monday on the AmericanLife TV Network. [usatoday]

13. Sopranos creator, David Chase, is back in federal court fighting copyright infringement claims. A former municipal court judge argued Chase ripped off the successful HBO series from his crash course about the New Jersey mob.[blogonaut]

14. In other claims, the Rev. Al Sharpton denounced an IRS investigation into his non-profit civil-rights organization, National Action Network, as a low-down smear campaign to discredit his forthcoming presidential candidate endorsement. [officialteflontvblog]

15. More smear. A racist slur cover-up from the 2004 manslaughter trial of ex-NBA star, Jayson Williams recently reared its ugly head. [nj]

16. When will the drunk driving stop? Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver singer, Scott Weiland, was arraigned on DUI today. [msn]

17. Adding more fuel to the fires of the Bush administration, the 58th annual Berlin International Film Festival will debut Errol Morris’ Iraqi prison scandal documentary, Standard Operating Procedure. The festival runs in early February, 2008. [loosetooth]

18. Trying to make light of the whole Iraqi prison controversy, Fox humor columnist, Greg Gutfeld, suggests waterboarding torture tactics should become the country’s national sport. [thinkprogress]

Blurring the Line Between Politics and Celebrities

Regular readers of The Spewker know its main focus is politics and celebrities. Bashing those who choose to lead life in the public eye is one of my favoritie pastimes. Throw in a dusting for the media and my day is complete.


Thanks HollyScoop for creating a video that allows me to shpling one big loogger at all three. For starters, your host, Bridget Daley, needs a better hair stylist. That "too much combed over straight" look bit the dust in the 80's. Her side part makes her face look pretty fat, if that is even possible. This woman looks so unsightly, it actually distracted me from paying attention to the video. So much for Internet journalism.

Secondly, just because Brad Pitt says fellow actor and friend, George Clooney, has his vote for President, doesn't mean Gorgeous George should throw his hat in the ring. What a dumb segment! Could the line between politicians and celebrities become any more murky? Everytime I turn around, it's politicians becoming more like rock stars and celebrities thinking they can run the world. Honestly, sometimes I think I am living in a Twilight Zone episode in overdrive. Is there another way out?

Ummm, people, in case you've forgotten, we Americans have about twelve more weeks before Election 2008 really heats up. Any one of the declared presidential candidates could become the nominee for their respective parties. I beg to differ that "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" is the de facto Democratic candidate in the general election. Are we Democrats going to let the media decide which candidate we choose to run for our highest political office?

Sure, after eight years of Dubya, I can understand why hardly anyone wants a Republican back in the White House. But people in this country don't seem too fond of old "Billary" either. Her top fundraising status is not a deciding factor for me and shouldn't be for anyone else. We should support the candidate with the best resume, not the one with the most polished media image. There are other amazingly good candidates in the race who the media ignores. More about this in a later article.

America's apparent dissatisfaction with the front runners doesn't mean we should toot Mr. Clooney as a write-in. He may be very well meaning and know the location of Darfur, but presidential material he isn't. Even my 12 year old knows the difference between an actual politician and a celebrity who plays one on TV. Why doesn't HollyScoop?

George "Cloo-me" In: Hunk or Has Been?

This off the cuff rant is not mean-spirited. I LOVE George Clooney, why, I'm one of his biggest fans. From the first time I fixated on those dark lush lash lidded patch of doe eyed browns and perfectly chiseled chin, I was hooked but good. Maybe that's the ...err...problem.

You see, I'm also on a collision course with middle age. Ouch, that's gotta hurt.

George, we hardly knew ye. On second thought, strike that. George Clooney has been a major motion oscar winning ER swilling hunka hunka burning Hollywood super star for longer than the combined terms of Clintons and Bushes. For years, I've followed all the interviews, all the movie clips, all the premiers, and all the inside jokes. I've fantasized myself cavorting with George, Brad, Julia, and sidekick Richard Kind at poker games, yachts, and of course, movie sets. Outspoken? Yes. But at least he puts his time where his mouth is. Not too many celebrities can say that about themselves.

Lately, I'm seriously beginning to wonder if this sexy star has become a nova of his former self. Not even a mention in People mag's 2007 sexiest men alive issue. Recently snapped shirtless revealing, shall we say, elderly manhandles. A pathetic YouTube jab about the death of his beloved pot bellied pig. And what about that interview on Jay Leno? Were those flashes of turkey neck?

Ah well, the vultures are lurking. Looks like George would do well to circle the wagons. Or finally settle down with some hot babe. Marriage isn't the raw deal he envisions, even if his first crashed and burned. Once those pecs start to sag, it'll be too late. He'll just have to settle for gold diggers.

Earth to George: Warren got Annette on the way down. Capitulate before it's too late. You've still got time. And that entrancing smolder.

Click to see Spewed Videos du Jour.