Did Knut the Polar Bear Die from Overexposure?

He entered the world to international acclaim, but where are all the "oooohers" and "aaaaahers" now?

On March 19, 2011, Knut, the irresistibly cute and cuddly polar bear, staggered and drowned in his cage at The Berlin Zoo, never to be heard from again. That’s right. As onlookers watched (and filmed) in horror, darling Knut, barely 4-years old, bit the big one.




This is the same furball whose birth made callous news people blubber and fawn like adoring grandparents. No one could get enough of Knut. His adorable little smushy face graced the cover of every newspaper and popular magazines. Heck, his first video may still be going viral.

At least now Zsa Zsa Gabor can sleep easy. With Knut’s death, the bubbe-meise of celebrities dying in threes has come to fruition. First Jane Russell, then Dame Elizabeth Taylor, and now chick-magnet Knut. To be fair, Taylor completed the trilogy, but news of Knut’s death traveled slowly. I doubt Gabor realizes Taylor’s death actually bought her a reprieve.

A neurologist who studied Knut’s brain scans claims he died from an epileptic fit. I wonder if something more sinister is to blame. Neglect? Abuse? Failure to keep his magnetic mug in front of the cameras? I can’t remember the last time I watched a video of the fluffy charmer.

Perhaps to some degree we are all to blame for Knut’s untimely demise. The poor wretch died the same way he was born – on film – but what about those brief years in between? Who was filming then? As he aged from the height of "Knut-Mania" to the dirty brown punching bag of female cage mates, zoo attendance waned. And so it seems did interest in Knut.

Some have speculated it was the stress of stardom that did him in. Maybe, like so many child stars who turn from darling to dull right before our eyes and lose their careers in the process, Knut was a has-been who saw the handwriting on the wall. Maybe the poor dear simply decided to go out on his own terms, turning in circles and plopping into the abyss.

Hopefully, Knut is now in a better place, a place where cameras roll day and night and he is the bright shining star never fading from glory.

Then again, the limelight is never as glamorous as it seems.


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Paul Newman: A Rare Breed of Hollywood Icon

Paul Newman came from my parents' generation of movie stars. Oh sure, there was The Sting, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Verdict, and that hustler flick with Jackie Gleason -- movies that came out on my watch -- but by then Newman's matinee idol days were long gone. He had matured into icon.

And then he became "King of Salad Dressing."

Okay, he was more than just a master of mayonnaise and paprika. Paul Newman, who passed away from cancer at the age of 83, was legend. One of the great stars from Hollywood Heyday and in the league of Bogie and Brando, yet a tad too old to tilt my wheel.

"Oh but those dreamy blue eyes," my mother would argue in protest, "they make me melt inside. How can you not get all tingly thinking about him?"

Well, it's like this. Imagine me asking my teenage daughters whether they would swoon over someone like say, oh... Paul McCartney. Now there's a dreamboat to die for. Who cares if he's past 64, the cute Beatle still has a way with sexy. Of course my teenagers would glance at the turkey neck and say, "Yeah, right, Mom." Which is exactly how I felt whenever Mom sat transfixed by the television, another old Newman movie reeling her in. Meh.

Newman endeared himself to a new generation as the voice of Doc Hudson in the animated feature, Cars, but will always be remembered as heart stealer of a certain demographic, the same aging white women who form the current core of support for presidential hopeful John McCain. I'm not sure what the connection means, just felt obliged to mention it.

In his later years, Newman seemed to pass on the glitterati. His icy blue eyes still smoldered, but the aging fan base had to be getting to him. Besides, he could afford to leave the red carpet behind. Race car driving became his passion. He always seemed happy to lend his star power to NASCAR.

Now that I'm no longer repulsed by turkey neck, I can finally appreciate the idol worship of the big band generation. Paul Newman was that rare breed of Hollywood actor who didn't need clamoring masses to reaffirm his self-worth. For that, he stands head and shoulders above what generally passes today as megastar.

There aren't many people in Hollywood who can command universal respect and admiration, but Newman was one of them. Many will remember him as a talented actor, devoted husband, loving father, political activist, and philanthropist, but most of all, a man who lived life on his own terms.

And we are poorer for his loss.

60th Primetime Emmy New Category Awards

The 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards did a night of firsts at the the Nokia Theatre in Hollywood. A preliminary list of winners is here.

I love how they call the winners "outstanding" whatever in their category. Not "best" just "outstanding." That gave me an idea. Why not make up some "outstanding" categories from last night's broadcast and crown my own winners? Better than writing a diatribe. For better or worst (this is really a late post), here goes.

Outstanding Hot Outfit: There was low, low cut, chic, and chic sexy. There was Christine Applegate looking radiant and oo-lah-lah (I hope she does kick Christian Slater’s behind in their time slot). And then there was Julia Louis-Dreyfus. In a smoke’n hot apricot gown, Louis-Dreyfus emanated from the stage of a New York diner reminiscent of a Seinfeld episode, "The Contest." She later lost in her category to Tina Fey who graciously mentioned her as comic inspiration.

Outstanding Surprise of the Evening: I strongly disagree that the evening held few surprises why, it’s hard to narrow them all down. For instance, I had no idea Lorne Michaels actually wrote for Saturday Night Live. I thought he just lorded over cast members. Rob Reiner writing for The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour? I thought Meathead was his only TV credit. Who knew Tommy Smothers got high in 1967? Or that Martin Sheen would utter the least controversial political statement of the evening (everyone needs to vote)? And was that David Morse on stage with the winning cast of Mad Men? Didn’t he play some part in runaway winner John Adams? But to me, the biggest surprise of the evening was how Presenter Neil Patrick Harris and I thought exactly the same thing at almost exactly the same time. Howie Mandel’s yarblings and Steve Martin gushings were tremendous wastes of time, especially in light of presenters and winners being rushed off stage.

Outstanding "What’s YOUR problem?" Moment: This was a toss up. After accepting her award and making a nice short statement, Glenn Close had the gall to eat up more time babbling about some "Sisterhood of the Traveling Divas," ostensibly including the likes of her, Dame Judi Dench, and others (bet Dame Judi loved being included in that category). Still, the winner is Howie Mandel. After doing his St. Elsewhere rap, Howie asked specific members of the audience, "Why do you applaud?" The bit was barely funny. Degrading members of the audience for their polite reaction was downright rude.

Outstanding Presence of Mind During "Get the Hell Off the Stage" Music: Steve Colbert who won for best writer. As the music tried to shush him away, Colbert had the fortitude to thank Jon Stewart for humble beginnings and his wife and family for all their support.

Outstanding Production Gaffe: Mike flubbings for Vanessa Williams and America Ferrera and some nincompoop cut off Tom Hanks’ acceptance speech (don’t they know he is Hollywood royalty?). Perhaps winners Glynn Turman and Cynthia Nixon weren’t supposed to present three successive times. But, the home audience never saw the presenter for outstanding actor in a drama series (Keifer Southerland?) because production came back so late from commercial. Whoever is responsible for that idiotic move, you win.

Outstanding Presenter Who Couldn’t Get a Laugh if His Life Depended On It: No, it wasn’t Ricky Gervais trying to tickle his Emmy away from Steve Carell. Loved how Carell would not crack a smile. Tom Bergeron of Dancing With the Stars wins hands down. Hated that drama/comedy drop gag and the rest of his performance was as flat as toilet paper.

Outstanding "Wait Until I Get You Home" Look: Love the Rickles and love that he got two standing ovations. They tried to snuff out his line about the O.J. jury (all white front row) and "The Emmy goes to Herbie Dickman" line went right over my head. But the look on wife Barbara’s face when he said, "Today she sits in Malibu on the sand with the jewelry signaling ships," had me rolling. I imagine by now she’s used to the embarrassment.

Outstanding Cast in a Time Warp: They either have the best makeup artists, face lifts, and hair colorists in Hollywood or the fickle finger of fate has smiled on their saggy behinds. The five-member presenters of Laugh-In, especially Gary Owens, are amazingly well preserved. Jon Stewart leaning in for the French kiss win with Ruth Buzzy only to have her clobber him with that ratty brown handbag was one of the evening’s highlights.

Outstanding Cast in Time to Move On: Presenters Mary Tyler Moore and Betty White. If you’re going to do face lifts, you really should do them right. Are these grand dames of TV in their 80s? 70s? MTM’s face was so tight you could bounce a quarter off it. Don’t get me started on Betty White’s retirement colony pantsuit.

Outstanding Political Commentary: The award goes belatedly to Tommy Smothers. After accepting his long denied best writing award from 1968, Tommy had the best political lines of the night. "I can't stay silent when hearing peace is only attainable through war. Nothing is scarier than watching ignorance in action. I’m accepting the Emmy on behalf of other people who won't be silenced. Truth is what you get other people to believe." The audience laughed, but he wasn't joking.

Runners-Up: Laura Linny, lead actress in a miniseries or movie, saved time by thanking supporters privately and showed appreciation for "great community organizers who organize our country." Feigning disdain for political commentary, presenters Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert instead did a metaphor about prunes. Colbert said, "America needs a prune, granted shriveled and at times hard to swallow, but this dried up old prune has the experience we need," while Stewart countered, "After eight years, you would think America would have had enough." Kirk Ellis who won for best writing for miniseries John Adams had the grace to thank Tom Hanks and add "A period in our history when articulate men articulated complex thoughts in complete sentences. They used words ---" and yikes, got cut-off. Must have been a Republican in the tech booth.

Outstanding Imitations Making Gallagher Look Good: Josh Groban. Suicide was not painless as he sang theme songs from M*A*S*H to The Love Boat, to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood to the gospel style of The Jeffersons. Esther just Rolled over in her grave.

Outstanding Catch Phrase: Hard to pick just one. There was Barry Sonnenfeld who won best director for a comedy series, Pushing Daisies. "Love TV and fear the Internet." Tom Hanks acknowledged Presenter Sally Field as "Mom" and almost launched into a Forrest Gumpism. Guess he forgot about their roles in Punchline. Then there was Don Rickles, big winner after fifty-five years of no acknowledgments saying, "This crap got me no place." Paul Giamatti, best lead actor in a miniseries or movie, thanked "my fake wife, Laura." However, Tina Fey, big winner of the evening, also wins this category with the line, "Better to be a writer than an actor. At weddings, people are less interested in talking to you."

Outstanding Classy Remark: Even though they sat the cast of House way toward the back, Greg Utanes, best director of a drama series, thanked the Academy. And Presenter Sandra Oh acknowledged and waved hello to her parents. Winner? Seven times nominated first-time winner, Alec Baldwin, for outstanding lead actor in a comedy series. He was the first of many who was gracious enough to thank his co-nominees. Other winners followed his lead throughout the rest of the evening.

Outstanding Missed Opportunity: Presenter Bill Peterson, aside from wearing some questionable black number with velvet-looking lapels, let the biggest opportunity for a laugh slip right past his fingers. After accepting Tom Wilkinson’s award on his behalf, and hearing Conan O’Brien say he would hand an award accepted for someone else to Steve Carell, it would have been hysterical if Peterson had actually handed Wilkinson’s Emmy to Carell.

Outstanding Theory About Mad Men's Win: It was the only nominee in the drama category that had more than one word in its title.

Gone But Not Forgotten: George Carlin, Bernie Brillstein, Joey Bishop, William F. Buckley, Charlton Heston, Les Crane, Alice Ghostly, Ivan Dixon, Cyd Charisse, Mel Ferrer, Claudio Guzman, Barry Morse, Deborah Kerr, Larry Harmon, Estelle Getty, Roger King, Sydney Pollack, Ron Leavitt, Bernie Mac, Eric Lieber, Suzanne Pleshette, Abby Mann, Dick Martin, Delbert Mann, Harvey Korman, Jim McKay, Lois Nettleson, Mel Tolkin, Richard Widmark, Stan Winston, Tim Russert, and Isaac Hayes.

Outstanding Line of the Evening: Jeff Probst, first winner as outstanding lead for a reality program category. "G’night."

Making Time for Reality

So yah, we're back. What a great place to call home. Four hours in traffic to the heart of Manhattan. Two hours to Philly if you like Mummers and cheese. Two and a half hours speeding east to the great Atlantic. And a mere forty minutes to the nation's capital, give or take the unforeseen, like an accident or enforcement radar.

Gotta love being able to get up and go, something so many of us take for granted. We'll travel when we have the time, explore an old stomping ground when there's more time, take a vacation in due time.

It's cliche I know, but there is no time like the present. What ever happened to finding time to be alive?

Wistfully breezing about the blogosphere, I landed upon a blast from the past. Shirtless John-John courtesy of Kenneth in the (212). Now there's a blogger who isn't afraid to take chances. Talk about the edge of good taste, how long has it been since the end of that political dynasty crashed and burned? Yet, there's bold and sassy Kenneth paying tribute to the tragic son as if still perusing The Hamptons with nothing but sunshine beating down on the promise of tomorrow.

More like the promise that should have been.

I suppose I should be sad, perhaps angry about the cavalier exploitation of a young man with no choice but to live in the public eye. Pimped out like a '62 Chevy, another icon of the past. Hot beefcake for the masses, let's ogle and swoon. But strangely, instead I saw hope and promise forever etched into a steely gaze. The handsome devil-may-care curls stylishly transformed into power hairdo by the fashionistas of 5th Avenue. A gleam in the eye of a generation with nothing but time.

That's the problem with unfulfilled expectations. Even those who are truly great don't get forever to shine. Kenneth's retrospective of JFK, Jr. as shirtless hunk may be sacrilegious to some, but then, what exactly did he leave behind? An aspiring magazine and the body of an Adonis. Pretty impressive for a gym rat. Not so much for the scion of Camelot.

Strike. Strike while the striking is good. Strike like there's no tomorrow. Strike proudly and free. You know what I'm trying to say. The rest is just commentary.

Brad Pitt Rescues Fan and Other Celebolitics Shorts

The Tuesday Wrap:

A hero of The Venice Film Festival can now rest comfortably on his laurels. As an anxious fan almost fell into the canals below, Brad Pitt reflexively offered a hand to scoop him away. Pitt then gave the boy an autograph before making a quick exit stage left. [more]

He's here, he's there, he's everywhere. If there isn't a limit to striking the iron while it's hot, there should be. In addition to scheduled appearances on the season openers of Oprah Winfrey and Saturday Night Live, Olympic champion Michael Phelps paraded with Mickey, filmed a cameo with Ari Gold, and accepted an invitation to present at MTV's Video Music Awards. Is there anything the eight medal in one Olympian cannot do? Yeah. Lead a victory parade in his own hometown. Happy hobnobbing, Phelps. [more]

Baltimore isn't the only town holding its breath for a celebration. The Republican National Convention remains on high alert as big names cancel appearances right and left. The political correctness of Hurricane Gustav is killing 'em in St. Paul, Minnesota. Let's hope the same doesn't happen to residents of The Big Easy. [more]

CCTV had an eye-opener when actor Josh Harnett and a lady friend drew the curtains in a seemingly secluded portion of the Soho Hotel library. Little did they know, employees gawked as video cameras captured their explicit sexcapades. Afterward, Harnett was quietly asked to take his business elsewhere. [more]

Model and singer Grace Jones sent tongues wagging with a bizarre array of stage outfits and headgear. Strutting her stuff at the Electric Arena in Ireland, the fishnet clad diva's mental well-being was recently called into question. [more]

Another celebrity boy toy hits the scene, this time with 50-year old actress Sharon Stone. She and charity supporter Chase Dreyfous, 24, were recently spotted getting cozy in Malibu, California. The pair have been seeing each other for about two months. [more]

Always wanted to be a movie star but never fit the bill? Now's your chance to be a reality star... in the comfort of your living room, that is. Announcing "Imagine Movie Star." Oh yeah, it's for real. In a fantasy sort of way. [more]

And in big duh news, Amy Winehouse's incessant drug use is feared to have caused brain damage (must not go there...hold tongue....too easy... moving on). [more]


Daily Arrested:

Former British Celebrity Big Brother contestant, Jack Tweed, 21, was sentenced to 18 months in Chelmsford Crown Court for a 2006 assault. [more]

An assistant to Ginger Baker, prominent musician of the 1960s band "Cream," is on trial for twenty-seven counts of fraud. Baker had hired the former bank employee to help him with his finances only to find about 21,000 pounds missing from his account and fraud alerts disabled. [more]


Celebrity Causes:

Critically acclaimed actor Johnny Depp got on board with the Dan Marino Foundation. Depp played with former band, "The Kids" for half an hour in Pompano Beach, Florida to benefit special needs children. [more]

Kate Moss, Liam Gallagher, and Jude Law have donated personal items for charity. Among the items being sold to raise money for Breast Cancer Care are a signed pair of Christian Louboutin peep toe stilettos, a Martin Margiela suit worn in the remake of Alfie, a signed guitar, a leather jacket from Gary Kemp's days in the Spandau Ballet, and an original Jake Chapman drawing. [more]

Maybe it's a guilty conscience. Jude Law is also donating his time in war torn Afghanistan to maintain momentum for The United Nation's Peace Day celebration. Law says he wants more people to recognize the day because he believes it help save lives. [more]

"I Kissed A Girl" pop star, Kate Perry, plastered her chest to raise money for breast cancer research. Keep-A-Breast.org will receive all proceeds from the MTV video and ample bust casting. [more]

U2 frontman Bono and fashion designer Giorgio Armani have once again convinced actress Julia Roberts to design a T-shirt for charity. Her treetop acronym design will benefit the global fight against AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria. [more]

The mother of all telethons smashed records once again. The organization run by comedian Jerry Lewis raised a record $65 million for the Muscular Dystrophy Association over Labor Day weekend. [more]


Civil Matters:

Claiming age discrimination, UK Channel Five replacement Selina Scott is taking the station and its Director of Programmes Ben Gale to the London Employment Tribunal. The former face of News at Ten, age 57, claims she did not receive a final contract to fill in for pregnant newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky because Gale wanted "a younger face." [more]

Survivor producer Mark Burnett filed a complaint with the California Labor Commission alleging former associate Conrad Riggs violated The Talent Agencies Act, a little known law generally used in disputes between actors and agents. Burnett claims Riggs acted as his de facto agent, defrauding him of fees and commissions. [more]

Celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz is being sued to pay for renovations to her Greenwich Village townhouse. Documents claim she has racked up debts totalling more than $700,000. [more]

The lies are not true. Novelist Salman Rushdie won a libel suit against former bodyguard Ronald Evans. Rather than claim damages for the harm to his professional reputation, Rushdie only sought reimbursement of legal expenses. [more]


Gone But Not Forgotten:

Host of the gardening television show, Sow What and Australian celebrity gardener, Kevin Heinze. Heart attack at age 81.

Australian actor, writer and director Michael Pate. Lung infection at age 88.

Theatrical comedian Ken Campbell. Unknown causes at age 66.

The King of Voiceovers, Don LaFontaine. Complications from pneumothorax at age 68.

Gone With the Wind suitor, Fred Crane. Complications from diabetes at age 90.

George Carlin Gone to that Great Comedy Club in the Sky

There will be so many tributes to the great stand-up comedian George Carlin this morning, I don't feel as compelled to add my voice to the din. Besides, I have a date with destiny, aka the dentist, in about half an hour. Who has time?

George Carlin. Gone at 71. Complained of chest pains last night. Dead of a heart attack this morning. I'm suddenly feeling a need to check out Lipitor.

What can I say? In honor of a true pioneer, someone who dared to go where others would not, the best I can do right now is free association and YouTube.

Dark Side of the Moon. Strobe lights. Love beads. Seven forbidden words. Something lit. Incense. Lava lamps. Flairs. Frank Zappa. LMFAO. Men in pony tails. Lenny Bruce. Richard Pryor. Mood rings. Here comes the judge. Spin the bottle. The beep line. Late night runs to Taco Bell. Slam books. Cheech and Chong. BH. The Groove Tube. Smoke on the Water.

Carlin, man. Carlin. The world is now a more somber place. R.I.P.

Post Oscar Celebrity Legal Briefs

With the glow of Oscars fading in the west, it's reality check time. Oh yes, even the stars have their share of legal woes. Submitted for your approval, a sampling of today's civil matters in the world of entertainment

In the "Here We Go Again" department, Pamela Anderson is seeking an annulment from husband number "I can't keep track anymore" Rick Salomon. Can't imagine why the Baywatch babe is claiming fraud, although what did she expect getting married on a whim?

Jessica Seinfeld's ex, Eric Nederlander, is a two-time loser. He's agreed to vacate the "hate nest" of wife number two just weeks after the birth of their first child. Apparently, Number Two's training as a child psychologist was all for naught.

The sad saga of Britney Spears will remain in state court. An attorney claiming to represent the embattled pop princess tried to move the case to federal court by alleging violation of her constitutional rights. By the time all the lawyers are done picking apart this pie, there may not be much fame and fortune left for her to squander.

The Maccas have been told to clear their calendars for March 17th. That's when a British judge is tenatively scheduled to award Heather Mills a financial settlement in the couple's hotly contested divorce. Sir Paul had hoped to keep the lid on the details, but refused to buckle to m'lady's demands. A public airing of their dirty laundry will likely occur when the judge issues his final ruling.

After having his day in court on charges of defamation, paparazzo Jamie Fawcett was ordered to pay legal fees to the Sun-Herald. A jury found the newspaper liable for defamation, however, the paper called Nicole Kidman as a witness and successfully established it had only reported the truth.
A bank is foreclosing Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. The King of Pop has until March 19th to pay off an overdue balance of about $25M.

Rambo wants revenge. Anthony Pellicano, the private investigator scheduled to go on trial for illegally wiretapping the phones of celebrities, intercepted Sylvester Stallone's private calls in February 2002. Although settled, the interceptions occurred about the same time Stallone sued his former business manager over losses related to the Planet Hollywood restaurant chain.

Alfred Beardsley, the memorabilia dealer caught up in the O.J. Simpson snafu, filed suit against Thomas Riccio, the mastermind behind the Simpson TMZ video. Beardsley is claiming unspecified damages for invasion of privacy, fraud, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and unjust enrichment. In September, 2007, Simpson and friends raided Beardsley's Las Vegas hotel room and seized several items Simpson claimed as his own. Criminal charges remain pending.

The John Ritter wrongful death trial is now in its fourth week. The beloved actor's survivors are suing a cardiologist and radiologist for $67M. Many tearfully testified about Ritter's sudden demise, including then co-star Katey Sagal, son Jason Ritter, and personal assistant Jessica Pilch-Samuel.

Countering a copyright case filed by video game maker Capcom, producers of the Dawn of the Dead films are fighting back. MKR President and chief shareholder Richard Rubinstein believes Capcom's Dead Rising video game is a knock-off of key plot elements in the popular movie franchise.

Producer's of America's Hot Musician, the non-profit organization American Youth Symphony, filed suit against Canadian all-female metal band "Kittie" for $5M. Countering show related threats of legal retaliation, the producers hit back claiming tortious interference with business practices, fraud and libel.

THIS JUST IN:
R.I.P. William F. Buckley, sage political commentator, dead at the age of 82.

Heath Ledger Drug Video A Bright Line for Gossipetiquette

While my family and I were off sunning ourselves in the luxuriously warm Southern Hemisphere, the stunning news of Oscar nominated actor Heath Ledger's death was the one bit of celebrity gossip our snobby intellectual friends failed to greet with a pensive "Who?" Even our normally blase eighteen year old was blown away by the shocking real life ending.

Although I'm so past the expiration date of jumping on this bandwagon, the controversy lingers. Show the drug laden video; no, no, showing it would be reprehensible and disgusting (see comments). I'm inclined to agree with the latter. Then I began thinking (much to the chagrin of nearby family members detesting the smell of gingko biloba in the morning), at what point does tabloid gossip cross the line of anything goes into the netherworld of the verbotten?

Certainly, nothing is off limits for besieged Britney. That mixed-up not-a-woman-not-a-girl is so hounded by the press, any day now I half expect Congress to pass a celebrity privacy law forbidding paps to camp within a mile of private residences. Let 'em randomly find their prey on the streets like everyone else. Do we really need another senseless waste of life to do what's right?

If I had to propose any kind of gossipetiquette here, I'd say the beacon of star power is inversely proportionate to the appropriateness of tabloid scandal. Which essentially means, the less talented and/or critically acclaimed they come, the more leeway and/or tolerance for smutty gossip. A tribute of sorts to the respect and admiration Heath Ledger commanded in el Lay.

R.I.P., Heath.

Premiere Hollywood Event Showcases Talent of Johnny Grant, Dead at Age 84

Another end of an era. Glitterati across America are in mourning over the death of the unofficial Mayor of Hollywood, Johnny Grant. He was 84 years old.

Grant was unmarried. He did not leave behind any children. Some might say the entire town of Hollywood was his family. Grant was a human dynamo, a relic of a bygone time. Show business pulsed through his veins. He transformed a moribound event no one would attend into a world famous bells and whistle ceremony known as the Hollywood Walk of Fame. An actor himself, Grant may hold the record for hosting the most public events as master of ceremonies. He loved the spotlight, people, and hobnobbing with the powers that be. Johnny Grant was civic minded as well as patriotic. In the tradition of Bob Hope, he traveled overseas to encourage and entertain our troops.

I did not know Johnny Grant, nor did we ever meet in person. I'm sure he was the kind of guy I would have liked from the getgo. Last summer, I came across the hands and feet ceremony for Ocean's 13. Very early on in the video, an obnoxious paparazzo screams directions at Brad Pitt. Pitts's churlish reaction was not well received and event monitors quickly snuffed out a fire. Still, the harassment continued. Tensions started to mount. Johnny never missed a beat, not even when the front of his podium fell apart. He kept the crowd calm, put the paparazzi in their place, ad libbed when it was needed, and moved the ceremony along. Despite the common behavior of certain cameramen, the event remained quite classy.

I kept thinking to myself, Hollywood doesn't have a mayor. Who is this odd little man and why is he with all those glitzy Tinseltown superstars? He doesn't seem very glitzy himself. Yet anyone can see from this video that Grant evoked tenderness and respect from the highest echelons. I've never seen a man off the street so revered. Now, in his passing, I realize Johnny Grant was no ordinary man.

Go in peace and tranquility, little mayor of a town who will forever remember you as a man of great stature. May your embedded star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame serve as a beacon of light for all who dream of riches and immortalty.

As he once thought about Mickey Rooney, if Johnny can do it, anyone can.

Celebrities Served 12.24.07

So many prominent sites report legal and political news about celebrities. Not wanting to merely duplicate, the following lesser known shorts were gleaned over the past week from a variety of sources:

CRIMINAL MATTERS

Former Secret Life of Us star, Samuel Johnson, was released on good behavior after narrowly escaping assault charges for punching and stomping a man’s head in a casino.

In Auburn, Georgia, ex-NBA All-Star, Charles Oakley, was stopped while driving erratically and arrested for unsafe driving and impaired driving. The former forward, who had played for such teams as the New York Knicks and Chicago Bulls, claimed he was lost.

An arrest has been made in the death of aspiring porn model and student, Emily Sander.

Formula One race ace, Lewis Hamilton, was fined and had his driving license suspended after being caught driving at almost 200kph on a French motorway. The hot bachelor has been linked to supermodel, Naomi Campbell, and Pussycat Dolls singer, Nicole Scherzinger.

Philidelphia news anchor, Alycia Lane, was arrested after allegedly punching a plainclothes female New York City police officer in the face and calling her a dyke.

Rapper Remy Smith, a.k.a Remy Ma, won’t be traveling abroad any time soon. A judge refused the performer’s request to headline a European tour due to serious pending criminal charges.

However, a Florida U.S. District Court Judge granted Wesley Snipes’ request to travel abroad for the holiday. Snipes faces charges for tax fraud. His trial is due to begin in mid-January, 2008.

Paris Hilton was named Celebrity with the Biggest Brush with the Law in 2007.
This article may have published far too soon as Amy Winehouse remains a formidable contender.


CIVIL SUITS

Facing increased competition from rivals Blockbuster and NetFlix,
Movie Gallery, Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy relief. The chain which operates Hollywood Video, Movie Gallery, and Game Crazy, hopes to emerge from court protection in early 2008.

Putting his money where his mouth is, Tony Parker filed a $40 million lawsuit against the gossip site, X17 Online, for publishing a story about his alleged affair with French model, Alexandra Paressant. Parker vigorously denies the two had sex in a hotel about a month after his expensive wedding to Desperate Housewives star, Eva Longoria.

Dolly Parton’s brother, Randy, was barred from performing in the theatre bearing his name. The singer and local city council are embroiled in a breach of contract dispute.

For the second time, Phil Spector sued his ex-attorney, Robert Shapiro, and Shapiro’s law firm to recoup legal fees and other damages. The embattled music producer, who will be retried on murder charges later next year, claims Shapiro’s shoddy work caused prosecutors to file formal charges.

Goth musician, Marilyn Manson, is counter-suing former bandmate, Stephen Bier, Jr., a.k.a. Madonna Wayne Gacy. The suit claims general and special damages as well as a gag order.

A judge dismissed World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.’s lawsuit against JAKKS Pacific, Inc. and related entities. The WWE had claimed antitrust and federal RICO violations. The dismissal effectively ended any possible pursuit of state law claims.

Reports of Britney’s impending marriage to Sam Lufti have so infuriated her ex, Kevin Federline, that Federline is reportedly seeking a restraining order. With 16-year old ex-sister-in-law Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy news, and Brit’s almost daily exploiots, the Spears family has become a veritable three-ring media circus.


CELEBRITY CAUSES

Paris Hilton’s mom, Kathy, raised money from other celebs to support the Make A Wish Foundation.

Nick Lachey and NASCAR star, Jimmie Johnson, recently formed the "Super Skins Celebrity Golf Classic," a charity event scheduled around the time of the Super Bowl in Scottsdale Arizona. Nick pitched in $125,000.00 of his own money to jump start the event.

Andy Roddick and John MacEnroe played tennis to benefit children with cancer.

Brad Pitt has put his movie career on hold to rebuild New Orleans. The sexy movie star, his companion, Angelina Jolie, and their four children have temporarily relocated to help former Louisiana residents reclaim blighted areas.

Want to know which celebrities are the most charitable and the causes they support?
CTV has published a list detailing generous acts of kindness among the Hollywood elite.


CELEBRITY POLITICS

Alison Jackson's celebrity look-alike photographs continue to irk their targets. Jackson’s politically incorrect images tend to capture the attention of people who are unable to differentiate between the real celebrity and the imposter.

The Dixie Chicks, subject of the popular documentary, Shut Up and Sing are back in the political spotlight. Lead singer, Natalie Maines, attended a rally and performed at a concert supporting the "West Memphis Three." Many believe the police railroaded the three teens into confessing to the sexual assault and murder of three 8-year old boys.

The Mitchell Report targeted athletes for steroid use, but let the Commissioner of Major League Baseball, Bud Selig, off the hook.

Mommy bloggers and celebrity glitterati continue to pound Oprah Winfrey for publicly endorsing and campaigning on behalf of Senator Barak Obama.

Basketball legend, Earvin "Magic" Johnson, hit the campaign trail with Bill Clinton to stump for Senator Hillary Clinton.

Musician and rock star legend, Bruce Springstein, ended his first UK show of 2007 by criticizing U.S. politics.

Shock jock, Don Imus, who only recently returned to the airwaves after making politically offensive statements about the Rutgers Womens Basketball team, kicked back at news anchor, Tom Brokow, saying he wouldn’t want him covering his back in a foxhole.

Irish pop star, Chris De Burgh, will be first Western artist to perform in Iran since the 1979 revolution.

Floyd Red Crow Westerman, an American Indian activist, actor and folk singer who appeared in Dances with Wolves and performed with Willie Nelson and other musicians, died at the age of 71. He was a survivor and symbol of U.S. government oppression of Native American Indians.

Luckily for Mr. Whipple, There’s No Toilet Paper in Heaven

Was there ever a television commercial that crawled under your skin and consistently evoked an urge to immediately change channels?

In the golden age before remotes, Charmin toilet paper commercials were my nemesis. I literally jumped for the knob at the sight of pearl and cardigan clad Caucasian hausfraus going gaga over toilet tissue. Portraits of giddy delight erupting in facial displays of ecstasy, manicured fingers repeatedly digging and releasing plastic swathed toilet rolls, noses buried in bundles of bathroom bales, these women seemed more akin to refugees from the funny farm than anyone I’d ever encountered at my neighborhood grocery store.

For reasons I never understood, the Charmin display cast an irresistible spell over these dipwads, like sex toys in the middle of an underground paraphernalia shop. At the time, I was far too young to understand any obsession over toilet paper, nor did anyone offer anything remotely resembling an explanation. I eventually developed a strong dislike for the clerk who policed these inane suburbanites. His name: Mr. Whipple.

A mustachioed middle-aged man, glasses precariously perched over a bulbous nose, Mr. Whipple was the definitive wimp, someone who couldn’t stop a dog from taking a piss on his own lawn. “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin” was his signature imploration. This pathetic excuse for a bodyguard always ended the spot by grabbing his own pack to furtively squeeze alone. The camera then rooted him out, sending a subliminal message that even its champion watchdog couldn’t resist finger porking Charmin's soft white folds. In time they added a voice over, just in case viewers didn’t understand the pitch.

Oh, I understood fine, I just couldn’t help feeling sick inside. Why would anyone be possessed by a toilet paper fetish, let alone indulge it in the middle of a grocery aisle? Clearly, my mother wasn’t telling me something. Switching channels became an automatic response.

Thankfully, the mystery of toilet tissue affixation ended around the time I hit puberty. By then, those infuriating Charmin commercials had all but disappeared.

Yesterday, the man who made squeezing the Charmin a guilty little pleasure succumbed to natural causes at the Motion Picture & Television Fund Hospital in Woodland Hills, California. Dick Wilson lived to the ripe old age of 91. He was a universally recognized pitchman who didn’t mind forging a career from a product people like me preferred not to contemplate.

Procter and Gamble put Mr. Whipple down in 1999. Although relieved to witness his demise, I’m saddened to hear about Dick Wilson. There should be a lavish tribute on the P & G web site. Dick Wilson shilled for those people more than 500 times.

Another fixture of my childhood is gone. Each passing symbol from my youth reminds me of a bygone era I'm not quite ready to let go. Call it nostalgic affixation. Too bad I can’t dig in my fingers and sniff for relief.

Sixth Memorial Anniversary of 9/11

A Clear Crisp Morning Sky

Under the clear crisp sky
on the morning of September 11, 2001,
I drove my car to the Jiffy Lube express.
The orange jumpsuit refused to change my oil.
All systems down, he explained,
but I was welcome to wait inside.

The customer lounge overflowed
with the smell of freshly brewed coffee and people awake at the crack of dawn.
Proximity to the nation's capitol
had stopped all lubing and changes of oil.
My world suddenly screeched to a halt
as I glimpsed the tragedy transfixing the room.

The Pentagon breached by billowing flames.
Co-workers broken and bent.
Green earth in Pennsylvania
instantly transformed,
a searing black hole in its stead.

It's the end of the world as we know it, I mused,
but somehow,
I didn't feel fine.

For a few liberating moments,
their bodies stretched over the sky.
Touching down only for an instant
before their spirits continued to soar.

I can't shake their free falling images.
Facing off with death,
they chose to breathe what was left
of the clear crisp morning sky
before silten ash covered lower Manhattan
like an overstuffed ominous plague.

My thoughts turned to home and family
as I bid the orange jumpsuit a shaky goodbye.
My car would still run on dirty oil
but not America.

Never again.

Now, a clear crisp morning sky
always reminds me of the spirits who soared 9/11
while the rest of the world watched in horror
as the towers came tumbling down.



Copyright 2007. Cheryl Snyder Taragin

Luciano Pavarotti Gone to Great Opera in the Sky

Luciano Pavarotti has passed on after going ten rounds with pancreatic cancer. He was an otherwise active 71 years of age. I'm not a big fan of opera, but I know a giant when I see one.

It's comforting to know he was surrounded by family at the time of his death, although, from what I hear, his domestic life suffered a lot of turbulence over the years. Still, I know many fans will be saddened by the news of this loss.

Fundamental Parent Rights of the Mentally Disabled Can Be Terminated

Are we really having this debate? Mentally disabled parents. Healthy newborn. Concerned grandparents. Understaffed and overworked state agency employees. Political correctness. Is this a recipe for anything other than disaster?

Yes, the mentally disabled should and do have rights. I’m just not sure they include the right to toss a newborn baby around like a pigskin and shake him like a Polaroid picture. Perhaps if they’d had enough sense to equip tiny dancer with some protective gear, none of this would have happened. Then again, I don’t think they make football helmets and shoulder pads in size 0- 3 months.

Baby Seth Mosley is dead. His mentally disabled parents, Richard and Giovanna Mosley, and their houseguest, Daniel Reilly, are behind bars, charged with second-degree murder and first-degree child abuse resulting in death. Jesse Stacy, the child’s maternal grandfather, and Denise Joseph, his paternal grandmother -- the only characters who appear to possess a lick of sense in this horror story -- wanted social services to intervene from day one and continued to press that agency and Child Protective Services for more oversight. Problem is, social services claims their hands are tied in such situations because state agencies must respect "fundamental parent rights," even if the subject parents are mentally disabled.

Umm. Yah. Right. Does that mean the Free State must implicitly compromise the safety of helpless newborns and do no more than periodic oversight until a mentally disabled parent actually requests help or a concerned citizen lodges a complaint of abuse and neglect?

Did somebody forget to draw the line here?

According to Lauren Young, Director of Litigation for the Maryland Disability Law Center, yes. "It shouldn’t be assumed that having a disability and inability to parent are things that co-exist. There has to be a vigilant analysis, not focusing on disability but the parent’s conduct that needs to be examined. They have rights to have families, too."

Well, what about when the parent in question is mentally disabled, say mildly retarded, ADD, and schizoaffective? Wouldn’t one or two surprise home inspections reveal such a person’s inability to effectively parent? I mean, for crying out loud, we’re talking about a mother who has never held a job, is unable to do simple tasks like write a check, and didn’t even know she was pregnant until prodded by a relative. The father, a brain-damaged car accident victim prone to violent outbursts, is likely similarly disabled.

Assistant State’s Attorney Bruce M. Smith so much as admitted the deficiencies of the two state agencies charged with Seth’s care. They couldn’t obtain regular oversight of the situation precisely because of the father’s violent outbursts and, according to the local rag, "an inability to reach the family for four weeks."

Ohhhhkaaay. That about sums everything up for me.

As soon as state employees knew or should have known they did not have adequate oversight of little Seth Mosley, they should have filed court papers to determine whether he was a child in need of assistance. A court proceeding would have given the grandparents a chance to testify, and perhaps set the ball in motion to terminate parental rights.

A 2002 decision from the Maryland Court of Special Appeals,
In re Adoption/Guardianship No. 36, does not require automatic deference to fundamental parent rights of the mentally disabled. In that case, numerous instances of discrimination against Mr. F, the mentally disabled parent, were readily apparent. The court also discounted testimony from the State’s expert witness. Tests to measure intelligence quotient and adaptability levels were not conducted due to "serious intellectual impairment." A social worker observing the home testified Mr. F could learn necessary parenting skills. The "clear and convincing evidence" needed to terminate parental rights never materialized. Ultimately, the court reinstated Mr. F's parental rights because social services never provided programs tailored to his particular needs. The court did not, however, go so far as to reinstate his right to custody. Notably, Judges Harrell, Raker, and Wilner issued a scathing dissenting opinion.

Contrast this decision with the one issued by the same court in 2006, In re Adoption/Guardianship of Harold H. The boy’s mother, Mojisola A., was severely brain damaged by a medical condition leaving her with an IQ in the "mentally retarded range." She exhibited obvious cognitive impairment, inability to make judgments for her own care, and could not work. Coupled with her long-term diagnosis, these factors clearly justified termination of Ms. A.’s parental rights. So, too, might have been the outcome for Seth Mosley had anyone recognized the need for immediate court intervention.

It’s a shame, really, Seth’s grandparents were so ill informed. Ironically, his grandmother works in a division of the office of the public defender. Perhaps some advocacy group should make it their mission to disseminate information about third party rights in situations of suspected child abuse or parental mental impairment. Certainly, citizens armed with such helpful information would not rely solely upon government to gain control of an obvious train wreck.

Unfortunately for Baby Seth Mosley, this train has already left the station.

Bloggers are Not Slackers - They are Virtual Reality Challenged

Has there ever been a time when you have looked at your life and said, "I must be crazy"? I have.

Today.

For starters, I am eating left over Chinese for breakfast. I'm supposed to take our youngest child to visit friends up in Philly this morning. Suddenly, I realized I hadn't posted anything on my blog since Monday.

Since Monday!

I think virtual reality assumes one is a slacker when one fails to blog about something every single day. People have said as much to me. If only they knew. No, I am not a slacker. I am incredibly productive. I'm just not doing it where virtual reality can take notice.

I never did finish the article I started Monday evening. Maybe because I was busy doing camp laundry, filling out school forms, going through snail mail, trying to clear out e-mail (still must have 400-500 I haven't touched), and doing my once a month pro bono stint.

Apologies to relatives (and anyone else) who have asked to be friended on Facebook. I haven't logged on in over three weeks. Don't worry. I'll get to it (hopefully soon).

Tuesday came and went in a blur. I must have been trying to go through old magazines, newspapers, and whatever other papyrus had piled up on our dining room table, do the dishes, feed the guinea pig, water the garden, empty the dehumidifier, cook dinner, buy new garbage cans, return the rejected school supplies I purchased while the kids were out of town, yada, yada, yada.

After our middle child arrived home early from almost eight weeks away at a camp, not only did he bring home three large piles of laundry, but a chin with sutures (this is why he came home early) which had to be removed no later than ten, count them, ten days from the time of stitching. For various reasons which I do not have time to go into detail about here, the stitches had to be removed yesterday. Otherwise, I would have to go through life knowing I failed to have my only son's stitches removed within the prescribed time. This could result in all types of awful consequences, don't ask me what.

I thought I was lucky to get an appropriately timed appointment with his pediatrician to have said stitches so removed, but to my dismay, when I arrived five minutes before the scheduled time, I learned their office had mistakenly scheduled our appointment a full hour later.

A full hour later!

If those people expected me to wait around one to two hours (the doctor had other scheduled appointments and the staff wasn't certain she would be able to "fit me in") to have what turned out to be nine stitches (not ten as advised by the doctor in New York) removed from my son's chin, they had another thing coming. Steamed, frustrated, ready to explode. What were my options? Luckily, there is a private care emergency facility up the street. I would probably wait as long as I would in the pediatrician's office, but at least their stupid office wouldn't get my money. We quickly left and, thankfully, the facility up the street took care of everything in about the time we would have started (if lucky) the appointment with the pediatrician. What an ordeal.

Also, the youngest child came home from camp yesterday with her multitudes of laundry. One of her trunks is still sitting in the foyer unpacked. I may get to it by September.

Oh, and the - ahem - brain addled lawyer I'm opposing in a hotly contested case had the unmitigated gall to ask for a postponement on our less than a week away trial without the decency to contact me first. At least have the courtesy to let me know this coming, huh? You better believe that guy was hit with some pre-trial motions. Only took about four hours to draft. Had to get it done on the same day I received his outrageous motion because I'll be in Philly for the rest of the week and don't work on Saturdays. This after spending three to four hours preparing my client for Wednesday's trial. If there is any frivolous case more deserving of an award for attorney fees and costs, this is it.

Did I mention all the time I spent on the telephone trying to speak to an administrator at our children's private school about the draconian changes in their hot lunch program? Nobody bothered to tell the parents they were even considering any changes. Again, not enough time to provide details, but I am plenty peeved. Still haven't spoken to anyone with any power to change anything.

Did I also mention I had to pick up my new glasses? Or make additional doctor appointments and appointment changes for the kids? Or start taking their too small, uncool clothing out of their closets to make room for the new school clothes? Or that I'll never get to Philly by the time I promised our friends because I can't stop writing this article (wow - I'm really on a roll)? Or that last night's Chinese just made a beeline straight down?

No? Well, gotta run.

Oh, and another anniversary for Elvis. Long live The King.

Farewell Lady Bird Johnson

Our nation's flags are flying at half staff, a tribute to former first lady, Lady Bird Johnson, who died on July 11, 2007 at the ripe old age of 94. I wasn't old enough to appreciate the finer points of this true Southern Belle, but from what I understand, she was a fine upstanding citizen who dutifully towed the line in a very tumultuous time of American history.

Since last Thursday, I've promoted relevant clips of Lady Bird, the better half of former President Lyndon Baines Johnson. Back then, the press had enough sense to keep rumors of Johnson's infidelities out of the mainstream media. Back then, the American public naively imagined their presidents as decent faithful men. We were blissfully happy in our ignorance. What difference did it make anyway?

Some short years ago, we finally learned the truth about Lady Bird's pain. How noble of her to suffer in silence. Truth be told, this relatively recent discovery places her in the same awkward category as Hillary Clinton: Women who trade money, lifestyle, or power for the pain of being married to an unfaithful man.

The unrelenting press coverage of Bill's marital indescretions was a significant factor contributing to the level of distraction required by Al Qaeda to successfully plan and eventually execute the horrific events of 9/11. Many others have expressed similar opinions. This lesson about the delicate nature of our executive branch is one today's journalists would be wise to learn and never forget.

Likewise, we should never forget our honorable and genteel former first lady, Lady Bird Johnson a/k/a Claudia Alta Taylor.

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