Shia Busted Again for DUI and Mo' Gossip

Hello, world. IT'S MOAN QUIVERS! Reporting to you live from the red carpet in virtual Hollywood. Even though no one seemed to enjoy last week's titillating round of gossip, I'm getting a second shot at this gig.

So, without further ado, here are my sizzling gossip picks for our Monday morning "Weekend Wrap."

Keira Knightly won't buckle under pressure to permit digital enhancement of her upper torso in movie promotions. Only in Hollywood, folks. You go, girlfriend... er tomboygirl ... erm, whatever. [NY Daily News]

More disturbingly intimate photos of Miley Cyrus have hit the fan. Yech. Ptooey. Somebody better teach the Disney diva about the better part of valor before her fan base hits the fan and moves on. [Ocean Up]

The supermodel and the quarterback put their respective bachelor pads on the market. Do I hear wedding bells for Tom and Gisele? When can we start calling them Gisom? [People]

I know who I'm hitting up for a night on the town. Forbes ranked top paid female celebs and you'll never believe who hit #1! Hint: It wasn't Reese. [Hollyscoop]

Once again, Shia LaBeouf has been busted for DUI. Lately, the Disturbia star is showing disturbing signs of serious trouble. LaBeouf crashed his truck around 3:00 a.m. Sunday morning and underwent surgery for injuries to his left hand. Police are using blood drawn at the hospital to confirm alcohol levels. Woo boy. [TMZ]

Richard Simmons intends to wipe out childhood obesity one chunky chubby at a time. The exercise guru discusses plans to march on Washington in support of new legislation. [Extra]

Bobby Kennedy, Jr. and wife Mary have turned construction of their new environmentally friendly green home into a 13-part reality series. "This Old House" star Bob Vila will supervise the project. [Rush and Molloy]

Now here's something truly wacky. Some wild and crazy Iowans tried to take Congressional matters in their own hands by making a citizens arrest on Dubya's old pal, Karl Rove. Too bad these crazy mixed-up kids were then arrested themselves. But ya gotta admire all that spunk and determination. [CBS]

She supposedly busts up a perfectly good marriage and now she's suing the photographers who caught her trysting nakedly with a married man. Homewrecker! Hussy! Ho! Blaming the paps for your sinful ways is lower than dogmeat. [Hollywood Newsroom]

Talk about being a wanger. Andy wangerhead to be precise. Yes, Andy Dick goes out of his way to prove he actually can get arrested even though hardly anyone in Hollywood will touch him with a ten foot pole. [Uberazzi]

That's a wrap. Tune in again next Monday morning for another live Moan Quiver's report. Ta.

Celebrities Served 12.13.07

This is the first edition of a new feature here at The Spewker. A roundup of political and legal news culled from the world of entertainment:

1. The home of the “Voice of Los Angeles,” could be razed rather than preserved as a national landmark. The new owner claims Bukowski was a Nazi sympathizer. [utchmynitz]

2. Akon plead not guilty to criminal charges for tossing a young fan off a concert stage earlier this year. [pravda]

3. PETA is targeting Olsen twins, Mary-Kate and Ashley, for killing animals to look attractive. [dumbasscelebrities]

4. Media mogul Conrad Black was sentenced to 6-1/2 years in prison for fraud and obstruction of justice. [canoe]

5. Gary Collins has been charged with driving under the influence, but somehow escaped prosecution for manslaughter after his accident victim died. [latimes]

6. Daniel Baldwin’s lawyer wants an arrest warrant dismissed, claiming his client's failure to appear for a scheduled hearing was an honest mistake. [celebnewsupdate]

7. Speaking of mistakes, everyone’s favorite screw-up skipped a scheduled court deposition in her pending child custody case. [babble]

8. Madonna is battling the board of her luxury apartment for blocking her purchase of a neighboring property. [timessquaregossip] Madge recently horrified animal activists by dying her sheep rainbow colors for a spread in Vogue. [thenews]

9. In more New York housing battles, following a dispute with her landlord, Bianca Jagger was evicted from her home. [showbizspy]

10. Looks like a home isn't a castle on either coast. Burglars hit the Hollywood Hills estate of Charlize Theron. [13wham]

11. Shia LaBeouf can breathe a sigh of relief. Walgreens dropped trespassing charges against the handsome Transformers and Disturbia star. [stuff]

12. Handsome rules the day in awards news. George Clooney and Don Cheadle received the 2007 Nobel Peace Summit Award today. [thenews] Clooney is planning a second profile raising trip to Darfur next month to increase awareness of human suffering. [moono] His documentary about the war torn region, A Journey to Darfur, will air this Monday on the AmericanLife TV Network. [usatoday]

13. Sopranos creator, David Chase, is back in federal court fighting copyright infringement claims. A former municipal court judge argued Chase ripped off the successful HBO series from his crash course about the New Jersey mob.[blogonaut]

14. In other claims, the Rev. Al Sharpton denounced an IRS investigation into his non-profit civil-rights organization, National Action Network, as a low-down smear campaign to discredit his forthcoming presidential candidate endorsement. [officialteflontvblog]

15. More smear. A racist slur cover-up from the 2004 manslaughter trial of ex-NBA star, Jayson Williams recently reared its ugly head. [nj]

16. When will the drunk driving stop? Stone Temple Pilots and Velvet Revolver singer, Scott Weiland, was arraigned on DUI today. [msn]

17. Adding more fuel to the fires of the Bush administration, the 58th annual Berlin International Film Festival will debut Errol Morris’ Iraqi prison scandal documentary, Standard Operating Procedure. The festival runs in early February, 2008. [loosetooth]

18. Trying to make light of the whole Iraqi prison controversy, Fox humor columnist, Greg Gutfeld, suggests waterboarding torture tactics should become the country’s national sport. [thinkprogress]