'52 Ford Woody

A classic woody, 1952 Ford wagon. A symbol of the early surfing era. I saw this one in Santa Cruz and took a picture of it on the wharf. The background here is my own fantasy.
8"x10" oil on the rough side of a masonite board.

Halloween from a Buddhist's Perspective.

First of all let me wish those who celebrate Halloween today a "Happy Halloween!!" Or maybe I should say have a "Scary Halloween!!" I don't believe in ghosts, ghouls and goblins. Except for the state of being a "hungry ghost" but they aren't exactly the kind of ghosts thought about during Halloween. Hungry ghosts are too consumed with their own suffering to go out and "haunt" or "scare" other beings.

Halloween is my favorite holiday because I enjoy spooky movies and dressing up. As a former actor I really enjoy being able to dress up as just about any character that I want for at least one day a year and not be looked at as a loony. As a Buddhist Halloween also reminds me of death and the importance of this human birth in over-coming samsara, which includes death, fear and anxiety, which are all aspects of Halloween. However, it also reminds me of my belief that along with death comes rebirth so there is hope in death. Such reflection helps take the fear and sting out of death.

Our minds make up so many delusions that confuse us and scare us into thinking that we have no ability to transcend such strong emotions. So Halloween is a way to face some of our fears and work through them and to train our mind to concentrate upon the present moment rather then let our mind carry us away into a state of paralyzing fear. Halloween is presented in a fun way, which can greatly help take the power out of our fears and even laugh at how irrational they are.

When we can take the power out of our fears then they basically disappear back into the ether of our deluded mind, which is where they came from in the first place. Fear is a deep instinct to try and protect us but it can be so powerful that it actually works against us. For example, being crippled in fear by the supernatural, which is debatable that it even exists. However, more importantly Buddha either said nothing on the subject of advised us not to give it much attention because it only feeds delusion and distracts us.

I'm not sure if ghosts in the traditional western sense are real (I currently don't believe in them) but the point is that we should overcome our concern and focus on them and worrying that if they are out there that they can somehow control our minds. It is my firm belief that nothing can control our minds unless we allow it to happen. Other than some aspects to severe mental illness, which make controling one's mind much more difficult even with medication.

PHOTO CREDIT: Buddha image carved into a pumpkin lit up with a candle by Nalini Asha.

Live Blogging Election 2008 Direct from NPR Studios

Dateline nprbloggers nprbloggers

Woo-hoo! It's official. The Spewker will be live blogging the presidential election direct from NPR World Headquarters in Washington, D.C. on election night. And I couldn't be any more excited!!

Okay. That's not exactly true. I could be more excited. For instance, I could start jumping on the couch and screaming at the top of my lungs about how much I love a country that lets an obscure unheralded blogger like me play political pundit on the most important night of the year. But then, what's the point? Pulling a Tom Cruise is already so done and tired it's cliche. Besides, it's no fun to go completely bonkers without a live audience to appreciate the level to which I could completely lose it.

I don't think my little family qualifies as an audience. Not yet, anyway.

So, join me here in this very spot on election night. Bookmark it if you have to. This article will be regularly updated beginning at approximately 8:00 p.m. on November 4th and continuing until they've called a winner. I'll have all the election news that's fit to print and maybe some that isn't. You might laugh. You might cry. You might even see a wee bit of video.

Because live blogging is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Nov 4th 12:23 a.m. - Drat. I may not be able to sleep tonight. My inbox is brimming with press information, NPR World Headquarters PR, NPR correspondent bios, guest blogger guidelines, specs on next day coverage, and quite frankly, my head is spinning.

Going over everything now to avoid having a cow on my way to Union Station. Or maybe I'll drive in and take my chances with parking. Can't be any worse than the 4th of July.

For anyone tuning in early, you won't believe all the social media these NPR people have cobbled together. An election blog, a streaming Twitter report, an unverified voter reporting map, a voting problems aggregator, and an extremely impressive press room wiki -- I'm still navigating all the links.

Wow! CurrentTV is also covering the election using VoteReport. Their program starts at 9 a.m. That's less than nine hours away! Advocacy groups, news reporters, and anyone with a gripe about the election can tune in early and monitor these reports, hopefully do something to fix any broken situation rather than just sit there and grumble.

I can see it now. By the time I reach NPR Headquarters, I'll be running on pure adrenaline. One hundred twenty people doing live coverage with live mikes broadcasting our every word, sniffle, and sound bite. OMG!

I can't wait.

2:35 a.m. - I just found the coolest vote tracking map ever. It's interactive. Can't wait to see how it tracks the returns. Just one caveat: It's from FoxNews. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

2:58 a.m. - Dixville Notch, NH is the first jurisdiction to register a win for Obama-Biden. With 100% turnout, no less. Hoo-ah! FoxNews map hasn't changed one iota.

Come on, peeples. Get out there and vote!!

2:00 p.m. - Still haven't left Baltimore. My scheduled dentist appointment took longer than I thought. Such a pity too. These lovely ladies were standing outside of a local elementary school willing to give rides to the polls.

Sadly, I didn't get their video up in time. The free rides ended at 1:00 p.m. But these women are such a dedicated bunch, I decided to give them the extra recognition they deserve.

Doing my part, however ineptly.

Earlier today I happened upon my friend and relative Greg G. Greg is shaking up the election with his own exit poll at Pikesville Senior High (video to post a little later). Follow Greg's unique election coverage with video, live updates, and news at Baltimore Jewish.com.

4:30 p.m. - Leaving for D.C (finally)! Just might miss traffic if I hurry up. Darn computer. Needs disk space, no time to compress. YouTube video of Sandy Rosenberg hot off the presses (finally). Oh no. Must be a conspiracy. Even YouTube is against me. The video didn't load. At least that's what my YouTube account is showing.

Taking an additional laptop to NPR just in case my world weary steed won't free up ram. Crossing all body parts. Wishing for the best.

Approx. 6:30 p.m. - Dateline: NPR studios. I've arrived. Only took about two hours down the parkway in intermittent rain. And the most confusing split in Massachusetts Avenue right where the NPR building stands. Let's just say, I'm lucky to have set up and to have made it here on time.

Still getting to know my table, a small set up in the corner of the room. Mostly comprised of NPR employees. In the middle sit the majority of tonight's bloggers, a fine mix of tech, politics, and social media. But since I'm trying to work off two computers at the same time, I thought it best not to take up too much extra space.

On the way over the radio talking heads debated The Fairness Doctrine, early voting in Maryland, exit poll returns, etc. Polls are closing in some key states. According to the TV news Obama seems to be leading in Kentucky, "very very early in the game." But don't let that discourage all you McCain supporters. According to Fox News, democracy requires that everybody vote. Hurry up! In some parts of the country you still have time.

Most of the TV and radio pundits are saying the election turning point was the September meltdown of Wall Street. But I disagree. I say it was McCain's selection of Sarah Palin as running mate. Good for Conservatives, bad for Independents and disaffected Democrats. At one point in this election I could have gone either way, but with the selection of Palin, well, that was the final straw.

Appx. 7:00 p.m. - They're starting to call Kentucky for McCain. But still too early, although about 8,000 votes are in. Vermont called (again early) for Obama. If so, McCain now leads in the electoral college.

Mark Warner projected winner in Virginia for U.S. Senate.

Appx. 7:45 p.m. - Just came back from the studio tour given by Amy Schriefer of All Songs Considered. Three people at a time, I wanted to be one of the first volunteers. Hopefully, if I ever get today's Sandy Rosenberg video to load, I'll have whatever video I was able to get of the studio posted.

Ah, finally (fer real this time). Ladies and gentlemen, Delegate Sandy Rosenberg:

Appx 8:00 p.m. - Yes we can!! NPR just called a slew of states for Obama. Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, Illinois, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, and D.C. They are saying that Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida are must wins for McCain. But now McCain is the projected loser in Pennsylvania, although called the winner in Oklahoma, Kentucky, Alabama, South Carolina, and Tennesee.

And now they're projecting Elizabeth Dole as a loser in her election race. Can you believe that? No more Liddy Dole! The horror.

Some grumbles in the blogger room about NPR projecting Pennsylvania way too early for Obama. No other news organization is making that call ... except ... Al Jezeera (credit to someone at the big blogger table -- didn't see who). Very funny.

Can hear cheers in the background of the current NPR broadcaster. Seems like a lot of people are psyched about those early calls for Obama. About 170 electoral college votes. Obama is almost half way there.

Colorado polls are still open apparently. NPR is broadcasting from a McCain support center. The lady says they are still calling people to get out the vote. So if you're a voter in Colorado and you still haven't voted....what in the world are you waiting for?

Appx 8:30 p.m. - Whew! NPR is no longer out on limb projecting PA for Obama. MSNBC and CBS News are now on board. If these folks are correct, it's a very big loss for John McCain.

Appx 8:50 p.m. - Obama-Biden headquarters are starting to heat up with excited supporters. John Dickerson reports from Chicago that there are six spotlights pointed to the sky, "presumably preparing for Obama's ascent to heaven." Can't tell if he's a supporter or detractor. Actually, I think I recall his earlier broadcast of a vote for Obama, but don't hold me to that.

Projected 80% turnout for voting. Hmph! I thought it would be way higher.

Now projecting Michigan, New York, Rhode Island, Minnesota and Wisconsin for Obama, North Dakota and Wyoming for McCain.

Appx 9:10 p.m. - Washington Post has a nice stream. They're refusing to call PA for Obama, probably out of an abundance of caution. Their team of pundits are now saying that the only way for McCain to hold on is to win all the red states for Bush in the last election plus a swing state. That's a lot to live up to, even for McCain. I don't think he can pull it off. It's 9:10 p.m. and I'm calling this election for Obama.

You heard it here first.

Georgia called for McCain. Big swath of red in the south. And now there's some red states showing on top of the map as well. Wyoming and North Dakota for McCain. There must be some kind of correlation between the people living in those big country states and the south. Far be it from me to suggest the commonalities. I'll leave that to you to figure out.

Appx 9:25 - The camera guys are here. Popping pictures all over the place. Maybe I'll download some and post here.

In the meantime, even The Washington Post has called PA for Obama. And NPR is calling Ohio for Obama. Richard Cohen from The Washington Post says this election is a vindication for Lyndon Johnson. Who would have ever thought the civil rights movement would forever go down in history as his baby.... Surely not Martin Luther King.

Appx 9:40 p.m. We're having an amazing round table discussion about the election and what a historic Obama-Biden victory will mean. Phrases like "fruition of a dream cut short in the late 1960s," "Americans voting for President based on the country they want to live in," "wanting a President who's smarter than me," and "Conservative voters hijacking the Republican party" are piquing my interest in another video. Still waiting for the NPR Studios composite to load. But if my computer speeds up, I may be able to post a video capturing the spirit of an impending Obama victory.

10:55 p.m. - Washington Post put Louisiana in McCain's column. Big duh.

10:10 p.m. - New Mexico called for Obama. After almost an hour of downloading 22 minutes of the NPR studio tour, the program malfunctioned. Can you believe that? No? Neither can I.

Eh, not much going on here really. A few bloggers have left, a sizeable amount are on break. Pundits reduced to how John McCain will save face and maintain his reputation.

More on the "I can't believe that just happened" front - while I was out at the buffet, I heard an NPR program where they were discussing our round table "fruition of a dream" discussion. Coincidence? I think not.

10:45 p.m. - Just wrapped my video with Terrance Heath - an in depth discussion about race and religion and recreation of our round table discussion. Good stuff!

Virginia just called for Obama. Hoo-ah!

10:55 p.m. - Colorado called for Obama by The Washington Post, but NPR is still staying neutral. Big shocker of the night - Virginia called for Obama and North Carolina still too close to call. And talk about Florida... 83% precincts reporting with 49% for McCain and 51% for Obama. Looks like tonight's story will be Virginia and Ohio. And "as Ohio goes, so goes the nation..."

11:00 p.m. CNN calls the election for Obama! California tipped the election. You're witnessing history!

11:45 p.m. Computer froze. But I'm back. Have some great photos of the blogger room. Here's the scene during McCain's concession speech.








11:50 p.m. Barack Obama is expected to speak at the top of the hour. Just checked my email. A bunch of links from the other NPR live bloggers. Check out their articles:

writeslikeshetalks
Matador Pulse
siteview
arstechnia

Okay - Obama has taken the stage in Chicago. I need to hear this.

Nov. 5th 12:15 a.m. Obama just wrapped his speech. Hurrying to upload on YouTube. NPR wants to pack up and go home.

12:35 a.m. - Last video of the night. Yes we can! Thanks, NPR.

Over and out.

Buddha Inside, Buddha Outside.

Each form, each particle, is a Buddha. One form is all Buddhas. All forms, all particles, are all Buddhas. All forms, sounds, scents, feelings, and phenomena are also like this, each filling all fields. -Pai-chang

James: This sentiment pretty much sums Buddhism up for me. It is the wisdom that sees my DNA as apart of Buddha just as it is apart of star dust, refuse, the air, birds, other sentient beings, rocks and subatomic particles. This is a huge reason why I believe in the cyclic universe theory that the Universe will die but will also be reborn only to die again and be reborn, etc. It reminds me that Buddha is both eternal and not eternal just as all things.

The cyclic model is a theory that has gained popularity with the recent discovery of dark matter and dark energy. It says in part that there is a net expansion each cycle with each new big bang thus preventing entropy from building up (which was a critique of the earlier cyclic model). I won't go further into the particulars of the cyclic universe model but if you're interested check out the book, "Eternal Universe: Beyond the Big Bang." I'm currently reading it and it's absolutely fascinating especially reading it from a Buddhist perspective of rebirth.

The cyclic model agrees with the Buddhist concept that something can not come from nothing because all things are subject to the doctrine of pratītyasamutpāda or dependent origination. In conclusion, if Buddha is eternal and not eternal and Buddha is within all things known and unknown then the cyclic model makes perfect sense. This all said, the answer to the questions of the fate of the Universe is not essential to our awakening as understood in Buddha not answering this very question. In the end, the only moment is now.

P.S.~The blog counter topped 200,000 over-night and I just wanted to type a note thanking everyone for making this blog possible. Thank-you for reading and for commenting. I look forward to the next 200,000!! To celebrate I might give away a couple of books.

~Peace to all beings~

Socialism for the Upper Class

The reality of McCain trickle down economics.




[Source]

Grapes And A Pear

The fruits of the harvest this time of year are mighty tasty, and plenty colorful enough for a great painting.
8"x10" oil on masonite

Intentional Chocolate.

I was recently given a chance to sample some tasty chocolate (dark chocolate even--my favorite) from a company called, "Intentional Chocolate." First let me say that it is some of the best chocolate that I have ever had as it tastes like each piece is homemade by some cook's ancient family recipe. One of the reasons that I think I enjoyed this chocolate so much was because I knew that it was made with loving, caring, compassionate people. From the I.C. website:

Proven through scientific research to heighten well-being, Intentional Chocolate is the first intention-enhanced food on the market. The good intentions are infused into the chocolate from advanced meditators -- some who have trained with the Dalai Lama -- and is delivered with love to those who eat it.

All the products from Intentional Chocolate include this intention: “Whoever consumes this chocolate will manifest optimal health and functioning at physical, emotional and mental levels, and in particular will enjoy an increased sense of energy, vigor and well-being for the benefit of all beings.”

Intentional Chocolate™ donates 50 percent of its net profits to organizations committed to the benefit of humankind, and it assists non-profit organizations in their fundraising efforts by offering them low cost, customized packaging and product development for resale.

While the subtle and powerful relationship between mind and matter has been the subject of scientific inquiry for centuries, only recently have scientists studied the effects of positive thoughts on food. Intentional Chocolate™ and its research partner, the HESA Institute (www.hesainstitute.com) are leaders in the revolutionary new field of intentional nutrition proving that intention embedded into food can positively affect those who consume it.

Research shows that Intentional Chocolate™ significantly decreases stress, increases calmness, and lessens fatigue in those who eat it.

In a double-blind, placebo-controlled study that was published in the scientific peer-reviewed journal, Explore: The Journal of Science and Healing (October 2007) it was found that one ounce of Intentional Chocolate™ per day for three days increased subjects’ well-being, vigor and energy by an average of 67 percent and, in some cases, up to 1,000 percent, when compared to a control group.

Read more about their research. I'm not sure if I believe the idea that meditating over food can make it better for a person but I do know that chocolate (especially chocolate made with pure and concentrated ingredients like Intentional Chocolate) can help relax the body and stimulate the pleasure zones in the brain. It can also energize due to the sugar and small doses of caffeine. I believe though that it does make a difference knowing that someone made the chocolate just for you with joy. Just as like they say on their website that soup made by your mother tastes better than any other!!

In the end, while I remain open to the intentional thoughts making the chocolate more beneficial the main thing is that I highly recommend this chocolate. One taste and you'll understand why I ate all of mine in about two days!! A gift package would be a great gift right before Halloween and the holiday season in general. Now I'm hungry. That chocolate just melts in your mouth and brings a smile to your face. Order some and find out what all the buzz is about!!

~Peace to all beings~

Texas McCain Campaign Worker Tries to Start Riots

"B" stands for "bubblehead of the third kind."

Okay, people, the riots are postponed until voting day. It was all an ugly hoax.

Now go back to your Family Guy reruns.

Rams Head Against Brick Hanson Concert Wall

A week ago Wednesday night was uncharacteristically warm here in Charm City. The Power Plant hopped with outdoor activity as the pulse of the underground beat palpably live. Rams Head Live, to be precise.

Not getting cute, simply setting the mood.

Only a first floor performance according to one red-shirted security guard who preferred to remain anonymous 'cause he's liking his job. In other words, the expected crowd wouldn't need second or third floor accommodations. Still, a sizable cabal of loyalist groupies, hard core locals, and some curious sprinkled in for good measure mingled on the floor in anticipation.

Just out of reach backstage chilled the brothers Hanson.

Oh yeah, I tried using verbal press cred to work my way past the guard (a new job with better street cred remains on my horizon), but the folks down at Rams Head stood their ground. Beware the lone blogger sniffing for celebrity fodder. Mike their blond-haired customer service rep was so incredibly nice, accommodating, and surprisingly professional, it was impossible to hate. No matter how hard I tried to wheedle face time with Hanson ... with their manager ... even Rams Head's media liaison, their man Mike would not budge, yet always with a smile.

Neither would Mark the media manager, nor anyone from Hanson's entourage.

And so, I did what any self-respecting "came downtown in the middle of the week to be treated like crappola" blogger would do in the face of unyielding opposition.

I spun a story from whole cloth.

That's right. This article isn't an earth rattling interview about Hanson's charity work in Africa. It's not an expose about the group taking matters into their own hands -- kicking record producing honchos to the curb -- to make music on their own terms. It's not about how they transformed their former bebop style to a more melodic "new music rock" sound. It's not even a poetic comparison between them and that hugely popular hippie band, The Grateful Dead, who likewise would not bow to the powers that be, playing towns across America as the faithful followed closely behind.

Nah. Because of sticky sweet Mike, and roadblock Mark, and husky yellow-shirted guard guy this article is about fresh faced Jamie Gibbons, a likable 24-year old fan who's been addicted to Hanson since the tender age of 11.

Jamie rattled off names of songs like Where's the Love, Crazy Beautiful, Penny 'n Me, and This Time Around to exemplify Hanson's maturation. Too bad I have yet to indulge, but that's just because I'm old and decrepit.

"I liked them at first because they were cute, but now it's different," Jamie professed. "I'm insanely impressed with the dedication to their music. They push forward and because of that, they're one of my favorite bands."

When asked for the name of another favorite band, Jamie coyly identified boyfriend Brian, the bass player of Shane Hines and the Trance. Later, out of nowhere, Brian appeared exuding ultimate cool. We ended up exchanging pleasantries and information, along with my enthusiastic agreement to write about his band's unconfirmed D.C. concert should it ever come to pass. Sure, I'll monitor the band's myspace for updates. Maybe by then I can actually work my new job and not rely on the kindness of strangers for celebrity face time.

Brian also mentioned Hanson's free download which explains why the brothers dropped out of the mainstream. Many have no idea their band is still around. I'd say they need better publicity. The crowd is less than I would expect for such a big name, but Brian thought it was a pretty good showing considering they're appearing in Baltimore in the middle of the week.

The brothers are now older, married, and parents themselves which might explain the switch from bebop to a more serious genre. No way to know for certain, but that's the rumor I'm floating around.

Hey, all I asked for was 5 minutes backstage. You'd think someone would want to comply.

When Hanson hit the stage at a quarter past, the huddled masses went wild. Those at the very front nearly hopped up there with them, but no one seemed to mind, not even red-shirted guard guy. Okay, so my video is gawd awful, I came too late for a good spot.

What it lacks in sound quality, it makes up for in production.

New Zealand: Last Days

During our Lost World tour i spoke to our guide about some other things in the area i had heard about. I had wanted to visit a small coastal town nearby but the road was closed, so he told me about a nice black sand beach down another nearby road. It was our last free afternoon in New Zealand, and although the Lost World had been a good workout we were motivated to do as much as possible.

This was a very cool waterfall, one of the best i've seen anywhere. You could go swimming if you wanted, but it created a large amount of cold misty wind.

A short distance from the Waitomo Caves area are numerous points of interest. There are several great forest hikes, and i wish i could have done one of them but our time was running out. We did stop at a place called Marokopa Falls. A five minute walk through the forest opens up to a fantastic view of an impressive wide cascading falls. It reminded me of Rescuers Down Under. We wanted to go swimming, but getting down proved the area to be more rugged than it looked from above. The official trail ended at the overlook so we had to carefully make our way down a steep, muddy, eternally wet path to the water. At the bottom the rocks were less inviting than i'd expected and the pools a bit less calm than i'd prefer. And i was no longer hot, so swimming was less important.

We left the pools and went to nearby Mangapohue Natural Bridge. The trail to the bridge was short and completely level, with a suspension bridge and an elevated pathway. It too, turned out to be really cool. The funny thing about it was that this bridge was in the middle of a small hill that could easily be walked around. The tiny little stream just chose to cut straight through it. There were two weird men there who got into a debate with me about whether or not that waterfall up the road was worth seeing. They hadn't seen it but claimed to have seen many waterfalls, and were extremely suspicious about my own claims that i'd seen a lot of waterfalls too, and that the one down the road was worth seeing. They almost seemed angry about it, which was just crazy. I think they were just tired.

The double bridge from below next to a viewing platform, with Maree in the upper window.

Switching positions, Maree is down on the lower platform and i'm standing on top of the lower bridge.

A grove of fern trees.

We decided to check out the beach. It took much longer than i'd guessed from looking at the map. Even though no one was on it, it took us forever because the road was extremely twisty. Eventually it opened up into farmland and deforested hillsides populated with cows and interesting limestone pillars. The road ended in a tiny community with no services right on the beach. As we got out of the car a little Jack Russel Terrier jumped out of his yard over a white picket fence and began to run next to us. He was super friendly, and i started to wonder if he jumps out of his yard and gives himself walks with whoever comes by walking along the shore.

The beach was very relaxing and entirely vacant except for a local who seemed to be meditating on a big rock. The waves were large and violent. We walked way down it until our little companion gave pause and started looking back at home. I got the sense we were taking him past his routine boundaries. He came along the whole time. He was an exceptional patrol dog, and took endless delight in not allowing seagulls to land anywhere.

Nobody around to the south or the north.

The tide began to come in, and local on the rock headed home. Just as we got back to the car and an old lady was furiously yelling her dogs name out her front door. I can't remember what is was anymore, but the doggie got that i'm in trouble look on his face, and jumping over the fence he went back inside to get scolded. I still had the feeling he did that all the time. The old lady was certainly unable to give him enough exercise.

I had a great time in New Zealand, and with some superficial modifications to my lifestyle, i think i could be happy living there. It's a great vacation destination, and not as expensive as i had imagined. Things have already changed drastically since then (way back in February), but at the time the most expensive element of the whole trip was the plane ticket. The rental car was reasonable, the hotels, which almost always had a kitchen (and included milk!?) came out on average to around $85 U.S.. Food was cheaper than it seemed at the time, once i got my credit card statements. Tours were not cheap but in most cases they were well done with exceptionally friendly (and likable) guides. If i personally were to go again i'd like to spend a week doing a multi-day cross country "Track" in Fjordlands and spend time visiting some of the nice northern beaches and forests. We came away having done almost everything we had planned on, but now that we've been there we know of many more things to be done.

Good memories.

Sesame Street Meets Pennsylvania Avenue

Exposing bottom feeders of the Bush Administration uncovers unexpected juicy conjecture.

Monastery Haiku.

monk robes wet with dew

bell rings and birds fly away
budding lotus bows

by James R. Ure


~Peace to all beings~

Raunchiest Celebrity in Washington Regurgitated

Don't understand how personal matters can derail coverage of local events, but once again the beast has reared its ugly kisser.

This beauty sat in my editing bin for over a month. Yowza! I really am behind keeping up with the times. But couldn't let the 15th Annual Funniest Celebrity in Washington roll without a nod. Thankfully, recent developments have enhanced its relevance.

Last year's fundraiser drew pointed appreciation for runners-up, Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter and the lesser-known Ana. Continuing the "aw ya got robbed" tradition of underdog love, vlogger extraordinaire James Kotecki got his share of laps for a raunchy take on Election 2008.

Winner Mike Huckabee, Governor of Arkansas and former presidential contender, must have bribed someone for the title 'cause let's face it, Kotecki wiped the floor with Huck's routine. He even scored extra brownie points for non-partisan telling it like it is. Note these deleted lyrics from Kotecki's act:

Palin is the Governor of Alaska/There's just one question I gotta ask her/ She's got a bang'n body that we all want to hit/Does that negate the fact that she don't know sh**?

Speaking of dope raps about Palin, last Saturday's SNL Weekend Update kicked Kotecki's initiative up a notch. A sketch likely to live in the annals of SNL folklore featuring ready-to-pop Amy Poehler, Alaskan themed dancers and co-anchor Seth Myers bopping with the real Sarah Palin bore more than just a passing resemblance to its raunchier predecessor.

If only Kotecki could have foreseen the comedic boost of hilariously funny backup, he might have walked off with this year's crown. Food for thought as local competitors gear up for next year.

Prince William Unrecognizable, Powell's Endorsement Undeniable, Lohan's Tan Unreliable and Mo' Gossip

It was a night of douchebag debauchery for the future King of England. Not on William Wales' end, mind you, but the idiot bodyguards who supposedly kept him from fraternizing with Queen Xtina. At some point, His Highness was recognized and given court before setting out with Prince Harry on a week long South African motorbike race for charity. I don't know who snapped this romantic memento of the Prince's glitterati rendezvous sans hubby Jordan Bratman, but that's the most photogenic Christine Aguilera has looked in months.

Actor Alan Cumming recalls washing away his disappointment over 2004 election night result with handstands and trannies. Today, he fears possible revolution in the event of a similar outcome this November.

Respected GOP stalwart Colin Powell finally announced his endorsement for president and it's .... Democrat Barack Obama. Surprise! Meanwhile, the McCain Campaign somehow persuaded CNN to scrub its report of the Palin family's involvement in the Alaskan Independence Party. Media censorship knows no boundaries.

Like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle," claimed Guy Ritchie in describing love-making with soon to be ex-wife Madonna. Ritchie blamed the material girl's obsession with exercise and Kabbalah for sex life interruptus, some draughts lasting as long as 18 months.

Foo Fighters front man David Grohl too chicken to dedicate song Everlong to Sarah Palin? That's the rumor being floated after the band protested the McCain Campaign's use of song My Hero. Grohl appeared at a private video gamer event where he almost segued from a Palin reference to a dedication, then quickly substituted "... the Republicans" as recipients of his affection.

Fake tan malfunction alert. Calling all hosers. Can't explain why this non-news item made today's cut. Must be the lure of Lindsay Lohan's naked two-toned legs, although from the looks of strategically placed stocking holes, the cover-up doesn't seem nearly as garish.

Echoing Alec Baldwin's empty threat to leave the U.S. in the event of a George Bush presidency, Tina Fey claims she'll leave the planet if the McCain-Palin ticket wins the election. Exactly how the 30 Rock star plans to handle the unthinkable is between her and doppelganger Palin.

Obama Buck Supporters Drink Racist Kool-Aid to Survive

"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Finally, the Chaffey Community Republican Women's newsletter published by apparent racist Diane Fedele confirms what Obama supporters have known all along.

Inherently bigoted Americans don't support Barack Obama not because they consider him one of the most liberal representatives in the U.S. Senate, not because they harbor political views diametrically opposed to his, not because his associates are of questionable character, not because of unsubstantiated accusations of alleged improprieties, not because of his supposed lack of experience, and not even because they incorrectly believe him to be a Muslim.

No, Diane Fedele and her ilk don't want Senator Obama to become president because of the color of his skin. Pure and simple, they don't want darkies running the White House, especially not that scary wife of his, Michelle. No angry black women at our State dinners, eh Ms. Fedele?

And don't try pulling the wool over anybody's eyes with some lame excuse about random food items. Your fellow GOP-minded Americans have already condemned your pathetic illustrations, depictions that are nothing more than negative racial stereotyping, the kind decent men and women have been fighting to eradicate for decades.

Despite Fedele's reported apology, vocal Obama supporters have loosely organized an outrage campaign. Last time I looked, they were calling for bombardment of Fedele's email and any other means of communication. I'm not an avid supporter of censorship, but this is one time I'd like to see the haters go down.

We may be in the midst of the most important election in our collective lifetimes and these nimrods want to use race as their guide? Shame on Diane Fedele, the Chaffey Community Republican Women's group, and all other haters who base important decisions on such nonsense.

You people are the warts on the bottom feeders sucking pond scum to survive.

Hairdo Horriblus Giving Fashion a Bad Name

Runways can't get enough of them and now celebrities are rapidly joining their ranks. Continuing the Amy Winehouse trend of hairdo horriblus, follicle follies are taking root across the pond and beyond.

Okay, my puns need work. But so do unpalatable updos, hair accessories with no business being seen in public, and styles that haven't seen the light of day since 1969.

Consider Victoria Beckham's latest roadkill pixie. The look is positively revolting and I don't mean that in a good way. No idealistic counter-movements here. More like get back to the drawing board and splurge on hair extensions. Halle Berry Posh is not.

Just thinking about the endless possibilities of more monkey see monkey do made my heart go pitter-pat. Imagine these hilarious reverberations.

Victoria Beckham

Paris Hilton

Sienna Miller

Whoopi Goldberg

Madonna

Donald Trump

Incredibly silly, right? No more than the real thing. These are not -- I repeat NOT -- the latest looks for Halloween.

Amy Winehouse

Alan Cumming

Abbey Clancy

Adele

Yvonne Hoelzel

On second thought, that last one would make a fabu Marie Antoinette.

Gold Scratched Off Historic Golden Buddhas in Burma.

by Aye Nai, Democratic Voice of Burma, Oct. 14, 2008

Magwe, Myanmar -- A pagoda treasurer and local village authorities have scratched off gold coating worth five billion kyat from historical Buddha statues in a village in Magwe division's Yaynanchaung township, according to villagers. "NLD member U Nan Win from Pin Phayagon village saw the pagoda's treasurer Mya Moe, the village Peace and Development Council chairman Kyi Nyunt and six other people in the village scratching off the gold from the Buddha statues," Tint Lwin said.

James: It's a horrible shame whenever a sacred site/object is desecrated, however, in the end even the most sacred Buddha is just an object. A sacred site is impermanent like anything else and placing too much importance to it only wraps the ropes of attachment that much tighter around us. The gold coating attracts this kind of greed and waters the already hearty seeds of desire and is one of the reasons that I think golden Buddha statues are excessive.

PHOTO: Not the pagoda mentioned in the story.

~Peace to all beings~

Spring forward, fall back down

Hi kids. Last weekend Tori and I went for a lovely thanksgiving day walk at the Royal Botanical Gardens in Hamilton, On. The weather was spectacular, and we really just enjoyed getting out together after a pretty lousy summer, weather wise. We fed some suburban wildlife including chipmunks and the chickadees pictured below. So I hope everyone had a delicious thanksgiving and I know I am ready for another season full of excitement.

Red Grapes - oil on paper