Neiman Marcusgate Threatens Future Candidacy of Sarah Palin

In the days following Election 2008's historic outcome, scads of Conservatives publicly bemoan rabid personal attacks against Republican V.P. nominee Sarah Palin and the failure of Senator John McCain, her vanquished running mate, to personally silence detractors.

They can't understand how McCain could defend his Democratic opponent, Barack Obama, at a campaign rally, yet allow what's considered malicious gossip to flourish against Governor Palin.

Well, I very well may have happened upon the most plausible explanation to date.

Republicans Impalin'

I am not one to gloat.

But can you imagine what would have happened if the American people were duped into sending McCain-Palin to the White House?

Raunchiest Celebrity in Washington Regurgitated

Don't understand how personal matters can derail coverage of local events, but once again the beast has reared its ugly kisser.

This beauty sat in my editing bin for over a month. Yowza! I really am behind keeping up with the times. But couldn't let the 15th Annual Funniest Celebrity in Washington roll without a nod. Thankfully, recent developments have enhanced its relevance.

Last year's fundraiser drew pointed appreciation for runners-up, Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter and the lesser-known Ana. Continuing the "aw ya got robbed" tradition of underdog love, vlogger extraordinaire James Kotecki got his share of laps for a raunchy take on Election 2008.

Winner Mike Huckabee, Governor of Arkansas and former presidential contender, must have bribed someone for the title 'cause let's face it, Kotecki wiped the floor with Huck's routine. He even scored extra brownie points for non-partisan telling it like it is. Note these deleted lyrics from Kotecki's act:

Palin is the Governor of Alaska/There's just one question I gotta ask her/ She's got a bang'n body that we all want to hit/Does that negate the fact that she don't know sh**?

Speaking of dope raps about Palin, last Saturday's SNL Weekend Update kicked Kotecki's initiative up a notch. A sketch likely to live in the annals of SNL folklore featuring ready-to-pop Amy Poehler, Alaskan themed dancers and co-anchor Seth Myers bopping with the real Sarah Palin bore more than just a passing resemblance to its raunchier predecessor.

If only Kotecki could have foreseen the comedic boost of hilariously funny backup, he might have walked off with this year's crown. Food for thought as local competitors gear up for next year.

Homespun Analysis of Biden-Palin Debate

"Stock Answers And Stick To The Talking Points" v. "Run With Momentum And Emphasize Strengths."

That pretty much sums up performances by Sarah Palin and Joe Biden respectively in last night's debate.

Look, I'm not beholden to any network or news conglomerate. No one's going to fire me for media bias. Do I support Barack Obama in the 2008 election? Of course. Does that make me incapable of speaking the truth? I think not. Despite what the political nemesis masquerading as my husband claims, I am not predisposed against Sarah Palin.

Well, at least not because she's John McCain's running mate. Truth be told, I like and admire John McCain. He's a decorated war hero and an upstanding member of the U.S. Senate. I'm not too keen on his lobbyist ties, but what Senator doesn't scratch the back of someone else to benefit constituents? At least he's never been the subject of scandal.

Not yet, anyway.

But McCain's pick of Governor Sarah Palin as second in command has to be one of the all-time boneheaded moves of anyone who has ever run for president. This debate did nothing to resolve my own lingering doubts about his judgment or ability to lead. Our country is on the brink of social and economic collapse and this is the best rabbit he could pull out of his misshapen hat?

For thinking and intelligent women everywhere, "Sarah Barracuda" is an insult to the office of vice president. She looks and acts like Wall Street Investment Banker Barbie.

With looks that could kill and ability to bat those baby browns, Palin could charm her way into just about anything. I'm certain that's the reason for her meteoric rise to Governor of Alaska -- a state about the size of Baltimore City -- putting her executive experience on par with Baltimore's current mayor, Sheila Dixon. Not to knock Mayor Dixon (she has enough trouble brewing underfoot), but I wouldn't seriously consider sending Dixon to Pennsylvania Avenue.

Oh, but Palin is likable, she's so darn likable, ya just gotta like 'er.

Yeah, well Kathleen Kennedy Townsend is so darn likable too and I wouldn't want her running the country. Heck, I didn't even want her running the State of Maryland.

After the debate, I sat and listened to the pundits but finally had to switch FoxNews because they didn't have the guts to invite a liberal commentator. Each pundit patted their own well-tailored back, complimenting Palin on her ability to avoid a "deer trapped in the headlights" look as well as answer each question without a major gaffe. Bleh. The incessant hand holding made me nauseous.

Grow a pair you spineless dimwits.

First of all, Palin made at least two major gaffes. Her refusal to characterize the Bush Administration's Middle East missteps as failed foreign policy was so far off the charts dead wrong I started screaming at the TV screen. What is it about the proliferation of Hamas and Hezbollah -- two groups on our State Department's terrorist watch list -- that don't qualify as security threats to our only democratic ally in the Middle East? Biden briefly explained how these policies helped Hamas and Hezbollah rise to power and he was right.

And clearly Palin pandered to Jewish voters by suggesting McCain would move the American Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. No presidential candidate has ever made such a representation and for good reason. As the only foreign embassy in Israel's capital, the mere hint of a U.S. presence would spark riots and be a magnet for terrorist attacks.

Dumkopf. The woman has absolutely no grasp of foreign policy.

Palin's second major gaffe concerned the office of vice president. Palin agreed with Dick Cheney's interpretation of vice presidential power and duties. Yet, anyone with any comprehension of the U.S. Constitution knows our government is divided into three branches and the duties of vice president reside solely in the executive branch. Unlike the poppycock propounded by Cheney, the vice president does not derive power from both the executive and legislative branches. Towing the party line on this issue cost Palin credibility and pegged her as a talking head puppet.

As for Biden, maybe I am prejudice. He was utterly amazing.

Every opening she gave him, and there were many, he shot down McCain. Like an artist on a large swath of canvas, he deftly painted McCain as McBush by emphasizing repeated mistakes, all the while carefully avoiding direct criticism of his immediate opponent. It was masterful, really, and practically undetectable. I doubt even Palin realized being painted into a corner by the big guy.

Why, she barely moved a muscle to get out. Just kept repeating those Stepford Wives talking points.

I could go on and on about her grating annoyances, like bangs she refused to move for what seemed like an eternity so that they fluttered like caterpillars crawling down her forehead every time she blinked.

Or the way she came out and immediately asked Biden if she could call him "Joe" then proceeded to call him "Senator Biden" or "you" throughout the debate.

Or the number of times she referred to McCain as "maverick" and the State of Alaska as her "energy rich state."

Or the "god bless him" references and frozen smile as she listened to Biden's counter-attacks.

Or how she argued with Biden about the meaning behind his Senate vote on the Iraqi War and refused to acknowledge or explain why McCain had voted the same way.

Or how she artfully dodged most of her questions by regurgitating well rehearsed talking points.

If this is who y'all want a heartbeat away from the presidency, then so be it. I'm done trying to persuade the unmovable. All I know is this woman is woefully unprepared for a job she has no intention of relinquishing of her own volition. She'll need the American people to make her step down.

On November 4th, please make Sarah Palin step down.

Top Ten Questions About Tonight's Vice Presidential Debate

Late breaking post. Less than an hour before broadcast of the first and last vice presidential debate. So much riding on one televised broadcast, so little time.

Here's the top ten things I would like answered prior to tonight's debate:

#10 - Will Palin wear something other than that tired fire engine red bandleader jacket?

#9 - Will Biden formulate responses as actual answers rather than something akin to a soliloquy from Hamlet?

#8 - How many times will Palin say the moderator's name to fill time and fake answers sounding more intelligent than pageant prattle?

#7 - Can Biden swallow the foot he's inevitably going to stick in his mouth so the audience won't realize it's there?

#6 - Will Palin ask the moderator to reformulate the question like a kid at the National Spelling Bee whenever she gets stuck for an answer?

#5 - Will Biden make mincemeat of Palin's first gaffe or let it blow over in deference to politically correct rules of decorum?

#4 - Will Palin pull homespun analogies from a rabbit's hat trying to make the audience forget exactly how far in over her head she is in this election?

#3 - Can Biden get through the entire debate without reminding the audience he knows from experience what it's like to suffer through personal tragedy?

#2 - Will right-wing radio talk show hosts ever stop harping on moderator Gwen Ifill's blatant bias against Palin? Yeesh. It's like they fully expect Palin to implode upon impact.


And the number one question I would like answered prior to tonight's debate ....


(drum roll)


#1 - How many bloggers have posted drinking games predicated upon the number of times each candidate does and/or says something stupid and/or predictable?

Inspiring Presidential Campaign Signs

An undercurrent of Alaskans against Palin has finally washed up on the mainland. On September 13th, Alaskan women rallied to reject McCain-Palin's bid for the White House. So many Obama-Biden supporters pounded the pavement with campaign signs, police had to be called in for crowd control.

Whew! That's a relief. I was beginning to think gender might decide this election. As I recently responded to one misguided pundit, the day we elect a candidate solely because she brings a vagina to the table is the day we seriously endanger our system of government.

For the most part, campaign rally signs were clever, tastefully voicing public sentiment against Palin in an amusing way.

"Sarah (does not equal) Hillary"

"I'll need reproductive rights some day"

"Don't insult my pit bull"

"Palin: Bush in a skirt"

"Palin Anti-Christ"

"Hockey Momma for Obama"

"Polar bear mommas say no to Palin"

"No more (hangers) We deserve better"

"Why do sexists love Sarah?"

"Real women vote on the issues not the gender"

"The Alaska disasta"

But hands down, the top campaign sign came from a blogger who recently cruised Alaska and stopped in Juneau to visit the Governor's mansion. Support for Obama-Biden littered the surrounding neighborhood, inspiring one bit of controversy for a curious window dressing.

One commentator levied charges of photoshopping, demanding to know how the mansion could sit in such close proximity to a residential neighborhood. The ramshackle contrast to mansion opulence was disorienting, although charges of photoshopping were unnecessary and harsh.

"Definitely not photoshopped sir," replied one of the adventurers, or at least a person of the same name. Links were provided and I'm here to give my seal of approval. The Obama-Biden support is real, in your face, and from people who live in proximity to the Governor's mansion.

Gawd, can't these people afford a campaign sign? Support written in dirt isn't exactly the kind of endorsement one should gloat about.

Then again, what does that say about Alaskans' standard of living under Governor Palin?



More signs from Women Reject Palin Rally here

Larger photo of Obama support at Today's Special: Palin's Stomping Grounds:

McCain Palin Make Curious Voter Appeal

The dynamic duo is currently campaigning in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Meanwhile, Svetlana Pankratova and He Pingping dazzle crowds in Trafalger Square.

Sarah Palin Too Sexy for Her MILF

Sarah Palin "has yet to say so much as hello to the press corps." She'd rather spend the plane ride from Reno to Denver scrutinizing her SNL spoof.

Personal mission to uncover and destroy every scintilla of media bias or too sexy for her MILF?

Indulging the media with a short question and answer, then catching the viral video like the rest of the planet must not be Sarah's style.

[Source]

Saturday Night Live Plugs Sarah Palin Credentials

If you consider being a GILF, the ability to see Russia from home, and a fervent desire to become president credentials.

Celebrities Trash Sarah Palin and Mo' Gossip

The Rush Limbaugh Show painted Eva Longoria Parker as the latest celebrity to voice her opinion about the qualifications of Republican V.P. Nominee Sarah Palin. In an unverified promotion for tonight's 2008 Alma Awards, Longoria Parker reportedly stated, "After four years of sex and treachery in Desperate Housewives, I thought I was a perfect pick for vice president." We thought she was the perfect pick for baby bump speculation, but what do we know?

An airport paparazzo suffered a "gak" attack at the hands of musician Kanye West and his manager, Don Crowley. Facing charges of felony vandalism, West was released from police custody Thursday afternoon. "We back in the lab!!! I'm cool with the paparazzi. This guy wasn't cool. I gotta work now... I'll rant later," wrote West on his blog. All good about being cool, but did he ever stop to think the problem might not be the cameraman?

Appearing in Toronto to denounce animal abuse, former Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson had some more choice words for Sarah Palin. "I can't stand her," Anderson told E! News Weekend Canada. "She can suck it!" Oh come on, Pam. Say how you really feel.

The lively ladies of The View hosted Senator John McCain, then grilled their guest with accusations of lies, distortions, and walking in lock step with his party. McCain claimed he was the same guy as always, a maverick who will clean up Washington. Using what -- a hunting guide from Dick Cheney?

Saturday Night Live will premiere its new season this weekend with guest host Michael Phelps, Baltimorean and Eight Time Olympic Medal Champion. Speculation is rampant about the actress best suited to play Sarah Palin. Yes, there's a certain separated at birth look about Tina Fey and Gina Gershon, but my money's on Kristen Wiig. What do you think?

DC Concierge Rouses A Good Chunk of Washington

It's been an incredibly long night. The relaunch party for DC Concierge brought me out of my usual cocoon. N Street's The Space looked like a remodeled garage with chandeliers and big screen TV. Reminded me of the basement parties we used to throw while parents obliviously snoozed upstairs, minus the parents of course.

So many people. The crush to the bar was excruciating! Made the small talk and exchanged cards, but really came to give my best to the DC Concierge. Now there's a gal who knows how to throw a party. Flooded the place with cameras to record all the guest for prosperity (at least that's the way it felt). I wonder if she'll post any photographs online (duh).

Rushed home to watch CNN's public service forum at Columbia University. Fell in love with Obama all over again, although McCain's answers made me feel like Democrats will win this election no matter what.

Almost...

Curse you, former Beauty Queen. A pox on your lipstick brain!

Like A Really Bad Disney Movie

Where pitbulls wear lipstick and hockey moms pee on your leg telling you it's raining.

Where is Hillary Clinton When Candidate Refers to Lipstick on a Pig?

In the return to "silly season" politics, the McCain Campaign is blasting Barack Obama for supposedly sexist remarks made at a campaign stop in Lebanon, Virginia.

Let's just list this for a second. John McCain says he's about change, too. Except -- and so I guess his whole angle is, 'Watch out, George Bush, except for economic policy, health-care policy, tax policy, education policy, foreign policy, and Karl Rove-style politics. We're really gonna shake things up in Washington.' That's not change. That's just calling some -- the same thing, something different. But you know, you can -- you know, you can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.

Obama then praised both McCain's "compelling story" and Palin's "interesting story," saying his "hat goes off" to anyone who's looking after five kids -- I've got two and they tire Michelle and me out -- that's why John McCain's campaign manager said this campaign isn't going to be about issues, this campaign is going to be about personalities."

Jane Swift, Massachusetts chairwoman of McCain's "Palin Truth Squad," said Obama's lipstick remark was an obvious reference to Mrs Palin's much-quoted line that the only difference between hockey moms and pitbull dogs is lipstick.

"It seemed to me a gendered comment. There's only one woman in the race," she said.

Baltimore radio station WCBM immediately jumped on the bandwagon, devoting almost all of this morning's air time to outraged indignation and terse demands for an immediate apology.

Local talk show host Tom Marr not only relentlessly pounded Obama for his lipstick remarks, but also clobbered him on his "You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change -- it's still gonna stink after 8 years" remark, claiming the expression was a reference to 72-year old John McCain. One clearly misguided woman called the program to add how Obama's lipstick remark proved he is a Muslim because "all Muslims refer to their women as pigs."

Obama Campaign senior advisor Anita Dunn swiftly responded to the ridiculous controversy in a prepared statement,

A pathetic attempt to play the gender card about the use of a common analogy - the same analogy that Senator McCain himself used about Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton's health care plan just last year. This phony lecture on gender sensitivity is the height of cynicism and lays bare the increasingly dishonorable campaign John McCain has chosen to run.

"The expression is timeless and it has always meant that though you may dress something up, it doesn’t change what that something is," explained Robert Gibbs, chief Obama Campaign spokesman.

Indeed, the expression is so common that McCain's former press secretary, Torie Clark, used it for a book title and McCain himself used the expression last October when offering his opinion about Hillary Clinton's health care plan (thank you, Jake Tapper).

Obama recently issued his own response to the unnecessary distraction. He has nothing to be sorry about. In a full-blown effort to counteract media bias, the McCain Campaign has gone overboard, jumped the shark to a whole new level of underhanded politics. Talk about vicious attacks. McCain supporters are having a field day with the misrepresentation of Obama's remarks.

The American people want to hear about issues, the candidates' political platforms, and answers to hard hitting questions. Cloyingly desperate attempts to revisit political silly season only demonstrates how little McCain/Palin have to say.

Must See TV: The Vetting of Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin, Part I

Focus on GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin continues to dominate the media. Less than sixty days remain before the presidential election.

Exactly who is Sarah Palin? What do we really know about her? Does her personal character matter? What about her associations? Is an inexperienced vice president a trivial or important matter? After all, it's not like Palin is running for president.

Or perhaps because Palin's running mate is the oldest candidate to have ever run for president, the choice of V.P. is significant.

Voters must decide and we're here to lending a helping hand. Culled from the blogosphere, it's the video vetting of Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin.

Party Push for Palin began in March, 2008:

Energy policy and leanings toward Mitt Romney and Ron Paul:

Disingenuous response to V.P. consideration:

Initial failure to appreciate office of vice president:

Flipped on commitment to child rearing and job as governor:

Veiled endorsement of Obama campaign message:

1996 fundraiser and brigadier for Pat Buchanan:

Only supported Forbes in 2000 because Buchanan knocked out of the primary:

Politico alleges anti-Semitism:

Abuse of power probe leaves more questions than answers:

Offer to craft public safety solutions ignored:

Mixing church and state:

"The Architect" explains how Palin fits into McCain strategy:

Live pundit reaction to lack of experience and "being eaten alive" by the media:

Selection process questioned:

Party insider misgivings:

Republican pundits smear behind seemingly closed doors:

"May go down in history as the most peculiar choice for vice president ever."

And of course, celebrity politics:

The vetting continues. Part II as we approach the election.

Sarah Palin Nomination Spawns Bias, Frivolity, and Running for Cover

In the final stretch of Election 2008 media bias has entered the fray, thankfully as comic relief.

Bad enough registered voter polling continues ad nauseum (as previously stated many, many times, The Spewker puts no stock whatsoever in polls), now campaign cry babies scramble to discredit new numbers!

Okay, we get it. Certain news organizations are pushing for Obama/Biden. But biased reporting in any form -- whether influencing an election with subliminal references to positive character, whitewashing wrongdoing for the perceived greater good, or mischaracterizing an event to achieve personal objective -- is misguided, unethical and just plain wrong. The backlash has been swift, unmerciful and to our great delight, hilarious.

Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly going to town on Bradley Jacobs of US Magazine plays like a deer in the headlights. Like a hapless little boy using spindly arms to deflect a pummeling by brutally vicious older sister. Ow. Ouch! She's touching me! Mom!

Who would believe tabloid headlines could spark news wars. Everybody knows that stuff is embellished to sell magazines at the checkout line.

Well... er... apparently not everybody.

As previously impervious realms of celebrity and politics continue to mix and mingle, US Magazine editor Janice Min has taken her share of the beating. Defending charges of purposefully mischaracterizing the cover story about GOP Veep nominee Sarah Palin, Min responded,

This is an election where personality is getting sold, oftentimes far ahead of platform, and that personal interest in the candidates has definitely crossed over into the pop-culture arena. I think that after so many years where people decried the interest in celebrity as a distraction from real issues, I’ve definitely noticed the worlds converging.

Yah, so have we. But let's get real.

Tabloids are widely considered the second tier of journalism because they're known to play fast and loose. Not much investigation and many stories taken at the word of an unverified source. Tabloids manipulate headlines to sell magazines much the same way corporations use Olympic athletes to endorse ordinary consumer goods. Bright and shiny sells. So does outrage.

Truth be told, we're lapping up every steamy detail of the "Sarah Palin Chronicles." Made up or not, this woman's personal life plays like an episode of The Beverly Hillbillies. Estranged brother-in-law fired after ugly custody battle. Alleged affair with husband's ex-business associate. Alleged bigoted leanings. Partisan political firings. Pregnant unmarried 17-year old daughter pressured to marry in advance of Republican National Convention. Mother-in-law may vote for Obama. Former Wasilla church kooky prophecy ties. Busted for fishing without a license.

The list goes on and on.



This just in: Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews replaced as political anchors. Perhaps certain news organizations have gotten the biased media message after all.

Politics of Hypocrisy Isn't Pretty in Pink

Jon Stewart scores a perfect 300. Pinheads of politics didn't even see it coming.

Doubting Sarah Barracuda will bowl 'em over come November.

Sarah Palin's Family Pain Becomes Media Fodder

Inordinate amounts of incongruous baby sightings during Wednesday's Republican National Convention played like a public relations staging of family values.

First up, Cindy McCain cradling a baby. Then it was Republican V.P. Nominee Sarah Palin's husband holding their infant son. Next, Palin's young daughter in baby holding central. When the little girl licked her fingers to smooth down the baby's hair, I half expected her to spit away smudges too. Luckily the camera pulled away before she could completely gross out the audience.

Whatever public relations coup the Republicans think all that baby holding accomplished, somebody better get a grip on reality.

Hot off the presses comes the glut of celebrity magazine covers featuring Sarah Palin with not so nice news about members of her family. Is there something maniacal about the camera angle? The reversed image of her pinched out a smile with "must hold eyes open" glare reminds me of those America's Next Top Model themed photo shoots, you know, the ones where contestants pose using wacky scenery in the background.

"Give me fierce, Sarah, your most fierce pose as new mother and governator! Oh yeah, that's fearless, yes. Love the 'we're gonna terminate you' look as baby obliviously grips a finger."

The GOP has been criticizing the media's treatment of Palin's unmarried pregnant 17-year old daughter, Bristol. Majority opinion says to lay off because Bristol is not in the public eye and didn't seek publicity for having sex out of wedlock. I couldn't disagree more. At least the media fire storm is understandable.

Prior to Palin's nomination, Obama family bashing was good sport. Conservative pundits claimed Michelle Obama was fair game because she made campaign appearances. They mercilessly played her controversial sound bites over and over until most people didn't care whether she was proud of her country for the first time or "really proud." Then they went to town on Access Hollywood's 4th of July family interview, claiming Obama exploited his young children for the sake of publicity. Don't get me started on the stink they continue to make over his personal associations.

So, why should Sarah Palin's personal associations be off limits?

For a woman whose face was supposed to evoke the embodiment of core conservative values, revelation of Bristol's pregnancy is more than just a fly in the ointment. It's shocking confirmation of another politician talking the talk but not walking the walk. For someone preaching abstinence and holier than thou fundamentals, Palin didn't do such a hot job of indoctrinating her own daughter. Worse, she's running on a platform seeking to dictate those values to the American people. Changes in public policy and the composition of the Supreme Court are on the line. The public has a right to know everything about the person advocating such changes.

Granted, the media is having a field day with Palin and the almost daily revelations of shocking surprises, including her husband's association with an independent political party and Pat Buchanan's assertions that she was a fundraising member of his brigade. But isn't that to be expected when the presidential election is less than 100 days away?

Pundits who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.