When Meditating, Let Go of Expectations.

It is important to sit with the clear intention to be present. At the same time, we need to let go of expectations. In a very real sense, what happens when we sit is none of our business.

The practice is to accept whatever arises instead of trying to control our experience. What we can control is our wise effort to be present with what is. We can spend a lot of our sitting time dwelling on memories of past sittings or fantasizing of those to come.

When we read or hear about the benefits of meditation, it is tempting to dwell on the stories of wonderful outcomes instead of doing the work of actualizing these possibilities ourselves. There can be a big gap between what we have read about and what is actually happening. Sitting is a way of putting our bodies behind our aspirations.

-Narayan Liebenson Grady, "The Refuge of Sitting" (Winter 2003)

James: Nothing breeds discouragement with our meditation practice more than having expectations of how it is "supposed to be." That is why I like this quote about using meditation to just be present with your mind in whatever state you find it in. To become aware of our mind and what it is reflecting from inside our subconsciousness at any given moment is enough practice to work on for a lifetime. As much as we like to think we have things figured out in this existence the reality is that most of us are clueless, and bumbling through life like an inexperienced boy scout crashing through the forest.

In keeping with the analogy, I was always told when I was a boy scout that if I ever got lost to just sit down next to a tree and stay in that area. It makes it easier for people to find you as you aren't a moving target and you don't waste energy needed to sustain being lost for an indefinite period of time. Spiritually, we are lost in the woods. The woods being samsara while staying put in one place is akin to sitting down to meditate and center our mind in one place. When our mind is resting in the present moment we stop wasting energy chasing expectations and come to terms with what's really going on in that spinning washing machine like mind of ours.

Only when we accept what is bubbling up from our subconsciousness can we truly understand what is causing our suffering. Yet (as the quote warns us) don't expect every meditation session to ease your suffering. It seems that meditation is a bit like a box of chocolates (as Forest Gump would say) "You never know what you're gonna get." Sometimes meditation can make you feel a bit worse before you feel better because it will dredge up a long hidden obstacle. But don't freak out and stop meditating--it's good to dig up that shit because you're now aware of it and being aware is useful because you know where to focus your energies. Regardless of what happens when you meditate, it's all beneficial. There is nothing in life that isn't beneficial. It's our mind that says otherwise but the mind is exactly where the problem lies in the first place!! We can't rely upon the very mind that deludes us to bring us back to reality.

The mind might not want to reflect on something painful and seek to cast it aside as unhelpful but perhaps that's the exact reason to NOT cast it aside but to focus extra attention upon it. Perhaps the mind casts it aside because it knows that to focus upon it would mean it would have to see things differently and it doesn't want to do that because old habits are hard to break. Yet habit energy is what propels us incessantly through this cycle of birth, death and rebirth. Habit energy is another way of saying karma.

The mind isn't our friend--It's a delusion in an of itself, so of course it's going to try and distract us with doubt, which is one of the five hindrances Buddha taught to be aware of. Meaning, even BUDDHA faced those obstacles to meditation or else how would he be aware of them to warn us? So, you're in good company in facing obstacles to your meditation practice--that's what I try to keep reminding myself. Buddha and countless other greats in Buddhist history faced similar trials. So, in it's basic form meditation is simply about watching the mind--keep a eye on it to see where it has led us astray and where it would continue to like to lead us astray. Above all else don't feel bad if you can't always formally meditate because awareness can be had while doing anything. Washing the dishes mindfully or taking a mindful walk around a park. That's the beauty of Buddhism--it can be practiced anywhere. Not just in a formal meditation posture.

ADDENDUM: Special thanks to Philip Ryan over at Tricycle for the quote.

~Peace to all beings~

Fierce Fudo Myo-o.

If you've been reading me for a while now then you also know that I like deities, Bodhisattvas and other super natural beings, but as archetypes only. They inspire, motivate and help give me strength to face the challenges of life. That is primarily because as an artist their visual representation brings their meaning and symbolism out stronger for me sometimes than just reading esoteric lines in a daunting tome.

Though don't get me wrong, I adore a good esoteric tome but they are best absorbed in my brain coupled with visual representations. These statues of beings are powerful representations of aspects that exist within all of us. Fudo Myo-o is one of the "Five Wisdom Kings" in Vajrayana Buddhism. A wisdom king is a being that is not yet a Buddha, nor Bodhisattva. They are guardians of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas--they are the gate keepers to those advanced states of being. Those states of being that unlock the doors to allow the lotus of enlightenment to unfold above the waters of fear and delusion. Of course wisdom isn't the only attribute to cultivate. The masters teach us that it must be balanced with compassion to reveal the truly balanced being that comes from realizing enlightenment. Represented by the mythological demi-Buddha, Avalokiteshvara of Kwan Yin.

Fudo Myo-o (also known as Acala in sankrit, which appropriately means "Immovable") is known for his wisdom, which compares to the development of wisdom in our practice. Fudo Myo-o is that development process--he is that state of mind, which propels us to realize greater wisdom. Meditating upon him is to remind ourselves of our potential. He is a destroyer of delusion. So, he compares to the strength and perseverance within us all to realize the hold that delusion has over our lives, and destroy it through wisdom. He reminds us that wisdom is also a sacred treasure to be protected but shared. This, "knowing" then, like a guardian protects our Buddha-to-be essence and/or our Bodhisattvas vows, which can be compared to our true nature. This wisdom protects these natures and vows from the "poisonous" influences of greed, hatred and delusions. Thus, the fierce-some appearance of the kings who will turn on even us if we miss use our wisdom.

Don't Expect Your Practice to be Clear of Obstacles.

My practice has dwindled of late. So this is exactly what I need to hear:

So an ancient once said, "Accept the anxieties and difficulties of this life". Don't expect your practice to be clear of obstacles. Without hindrances the mind that seeks enlightenment may be burnt out. So an ancient once said, "Attain deliverance in disturbances.

- Zen Master Kyong Ho
[ 1849-1912]

James: It's not a sprint it's not even a marathon--it's placing one foot in front of the other. Present moment. Wonderful moment. Only moment.

~Peace to all beings~

The Mind Must Sit Down.

When we speak of “taking your seat” for meditation, we often imagine sitting down in the lotus position—but more broadly,... The body can sit down, and the mind must sit down too.

–Arnie Kozak, from Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants

James: I really like that last part that the mind must sit down too. I often stretch my legs, back and arms before meditating to prepare my body as well as regulate my breathing with some breathing exercises. However, after reading this simple yet profound quote (at least for me) I realized that I don't do much to stretch my mind before meditating so the body is relaxed, stretched and ready to sit but the mind is still in fifth gear. It helps explain why sometimes It takes a good portion of my meditation session just to get the mind to sit--let alone be mindful of the body and the present moment.

It's like trying to slow down one of those massive semi-trailer trucks (or articulated truck in the U.k.) when it is going at full speed. Even if you hit the brakes immediately upon seeing the obstacle ahead (incessant, circular, mental chattering) it takes awhile to slow the momentum of the heavy laden truck (mind heavy laden with thoughts). However, if the driver sees the obstacle ahead of time he or she can take the necessary precautions to ease into the deceleration.

I think therefore it is helpful to do some preparatory things to relax the mind to be able to ease it into meditation easier. Instead of just plopping down on the cushion after watching an in-depth movie or the news, reading the paper with all it's wild stories or talking gossip on the phone. In particular I am going to try and do some mental stretching before meditating like the physical stretching I already do. Some of these I already do but not with the idea of using them specifically for preparing the mind. These are just some examples of how I want to better use common "rituals" in Buddhism to aid my meditations. Remember, I am not a teacher and these are simply ideas that I am looking into to better enable me to get the most out of my meditation sessions:

Sit and look out the window to ease the mind into less thinking and prepare it rather for contemplation. Thinking as we know involves all kinds of judgments and variables that our mind spins it web with. However, contemplation such as looking out the window and watching the trees swaying in a breeze is more about sime observation, which settles and slows down the mind thus making it a great exercise for the mind before a session.

One thing that I already do is to bow three times in silence before meditating, which I do as a ways of paying homage to Buddha and my teacher. What I didn't realize before putting this post together, however, is that the bowing is a great way to train the mind to prepare for settling down. The mind reacts well to so-called, "sensory triggers" which when established into a habit can aid in preparing oneself for a state of mind like turning a key starts an engine. In this case the touching of hands together, feeling skin on skin and the act of bowing is a physical and mental way of telling the mind that it needs to switch gears, submit and letting go of control.

This goes for using a bell too, which I ring three times before meditating. The crisp, ring of the bell cuts through my mental chattering to focus my mind and slow down the thinking like a yellow traffic light warning cars to slow down and prepare to stop. The sound is like hearing a voice saying, "Listen, listen to the sounds of the present moment and return home."

Another thing I am going to do more of is chanting ahead of trying to settle into a deep meditation. This is mostly because I find that chanting relaxes and opens up my lungs to enable better breathing, which is critical in maintaining a deep meditation. Holding a hand on my chest while chanting is a direct signal to the brain that the body is relaxing and thus so should it.

Another trigger, which is very powerful is that of smell and incense (or a candle) is a great way to trigger relaxation in the brain, which helps relax the mind too and ease anxiety. It is also rejuvenating, which helps the mind stay focused and concentrate. Science has shown that incense can also help relieve depression thus being very useful in motivating a depressed mind to meditate. That's a big deal for me because I have chronic depression and often when I'm depressed I don't have the motivation to meditate, which is ironically the very thing that will help. So burning incense ahead of time to help ease my depression might just be enough to get me onto the cushion. It's worth a try!!

So there are others reasons why we Buddhists should do the "ceremonial things" besides because tradition dictates we do so. They are very helpful preparatory rituals that can enable a deeper and meditation.

~Peace to all beings~