Letting Go of Expectations.

The chaos of life streams through this mind, yet ownership isn't imposed upon it. It's free to pass through like a stranger in the night; registering its frenetic, holographic delusions but streaming out the other side due to keeping the mind open and relaxed. Tonight is a night where balance has returned. Tonight there is simply stark but relieving acceptance.

Like Buddha before us, letting go is gaining freedom. Once we let go of trying to control everything, life seems to flow with greater ease. It's not unlike a twig floating down a meandering river. It doesn't try to stop or force the current into an unrealistic upstream reversal of flow. It just lets go and enjoys the ride. Letting it take it where it will.

Life is like that it seems. We try and control the journey with some imagined belief in a power we don't have. There is no power over altering the flow of life. It will take us where it wants, so the only thing left to do is let go and learn to adapt to each bend in the river and enjoy the scenery while it lasts. It's once we let go that we notice a world that we were missing while being so focused on changing how our life is unfolding.

Suddenly we notice a sharpness, beauty and softness to life that we missed before. The trees seem to take on a new sacredness that brings us peace when before we pushed through them on our way to nowhere. It's why the cliche of "stopping to smell the roses" persists. When we stop trying to push toward a specific expectation we start to see that life has more to offer than we had ever realized before.

So, tonight, I've dropped the heavy backpack of the burdensome stones of expectations and am moving freely and effortlessly across the middle-path like a light and unconfined cloud. Relaxed to take whatever form the moment molds. Acceptance of being overwhelmed at times; unburdening myself of the chains of worry that enslave me and delay realignment with the peace that is an uncluttered mind.

Expectations are like fairy tales and myths; they are alluring but ultimately leave us disillusioned and disappointed, which are the fore-bearers of suffering. Today, I am letting go and it couldn't be more liberating.

Earth: The Pale Blue Dot.

Concerning what Buddhism thinks toward the universe the Buddha has said, “It is so large that it has no exterior, and so small that it has no interior.” “It means that at the Tathagata level, in terms of largeness, you can’t see the edge of the universe, and in terms of smallness, you can’t see the smallest microscopic particle of matter."

James: Whenever this perspective comes into focus it always humbles and reassures me that the bigger picture of reality is unfolding as it should. How could it not be unfolding at it should for we don't have much control over anything let alone our fate in the unfathomable totally of the Universe. We have learned a lot as a species but we still probably don't even know a tenth of what the Universe is about and we will most likely never know. Perhaps that's the way it is meant to be because how can something so immense and ever changing ever be pinned down and completely understand by a mind, which we know is flawed to begin with? Catching up to the consciousness of this vast experiment is in my view a glimpse into the state of parinirvana, which in totality is impossible to grasp until, (it seems to this humbled mind) until one no longer longs to grasp at all. Perhaps we'll "know" it when our desire to know is exhausted.

How lucky to have been born on this pale blue dot of dust hurtling through the vast expanse of a living Universe at all? How even luckier is it then to have been born as a human with the ability to understand that we're living on a pale, isolated blue dot of dust hurtling through the vast expanse of a living, breathing Universe!! And that on this pale blue dot once walked a man called Buddha who changed this dot forever. Whole civilizations of ants live and die generation after generation with no knowledge whatsoever that they live on such a miracle of a rock floating and spinning around a bright, giant, star of nuclear reactivity.

We can try to act like we are in control with our super smart, fast computers but in the totality of it all those are just blimps on a inconceivably massive time line. We're along for the ride so while pursuing science and looking beyond our current limitations is something we should always pursue we need to remember the less flashy parts of the puzzle. Black holes, red dwarfs, spiral galaxies and massive, multi-colored planets are enthralling and awe inspiring to be sure but so is the most delicate, humblest blade of grass that we often pass as we rush our way across this pale blue dot. Some of the most amazing moments in existence don't take place in a lab, aren't seen through the lens of a telescope or measured with the most high-tech satellite. As my master Thich Nhat Hanh says:

“I like to walk alone on country paths, rice plants and wild grasses on both sides, putting each foot down on the earth in mindfulness, knowing that I walk on the wondrous earth. In such moments, existence is a miraculous and mysterious reality. People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child--our own two eyes. All is a miracle...

James: I am content to just be apart of it all and to share a few spins around the sun with you all on this miracle rock called, Earth. That makes me smile.

~Peace to all beings~

The Mind Must Sit Down.

When we speak of “taking your seat” for meditation, we often imagine sitting down in the lotus position—but more broadly,... The body can sit down, and the mind must sit down too.

–Arnie Kozak, from Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants

James: I really like that last part that the mind must sit down too. I often stretch my legs, back and arms before meditating to prepare my body as well as regulate my breathing with some breathing exercises. However, after reading this simple yet profound quote (at least for me) I realized that I don't do much to stretch my mind before meditating so the body is relaxed, stretched and ready to sit but the mind is still in fifth gear. It helps explain why sometimes It takes a good portion of my meditation session just to get the mind to sit--let alone be mindful of the body and the present moment.

It's like trying to slow down one of those massive semi-trailer trucks (or articulated truck in the U.k.) when it is going at full speed. Even if you hit the brakes immediately upon seeing the obstacle ahead (incessant, circular, mental chattering) it takes awhile to slow the momentum of the heavy laden truck (mind heavy laden with thoughts). However, if the driver sees the obstacle ahead of time he or she can take the necessary precautions to ease into the deceleration.

I think therefore it is helpful to do some preparatory things to relax the mind to be able to ease it into meditation easier. Instead of just plopping down on the cushion after watching an in-depth movie or the news, reading the paper with all it's wild stories or talking gossip on the phone. In particular I am going to try and do some mental stretching before meditating like the physical stretching I already do. Some of these I already do but not with the idea of using them specifically for preparing the mind. These are just some examples of how I want to better use common "rituals" in Buddhism to aid my meditations. Remember, I am not a teacher and these are simply ideas that I am looking into to better enable me to get the most out of my meditation sessions:

Sit and look out the window to ease the mind into less thinking and prepare it rather for contemplation. Thinking as we know involves all kinds of judgments and variables that our mind spins it web with. However, contemplation such as looking out the window and watching the trees swaying in a breeze is more about sime observation, which settles and slows down the mind thus making it a great exercise for the mind before a session.

One thing that I already do is to bow three times in silence before meditating, which I do as a ways of paying homage to Buddha and my teacher. What I didn't realize before putting this post together, however, is that the bowing is a great way to train the mind to prepare for settling down. The mind reacts well to so-called, "sensory triggers" which when established into a habit can aid in preparing oneself for a state of mind like turning a key starts an engine. In this case the touching of hands together, feeling skin on skin and the act of bowing is a physical and mental way of telling the mind that it needs to switch gears, submit and letting go of control.

This goes for using a bell too, which I ring three times before meditating. The crisp, ring of the bell cuts through my mental chattering to focus my mind and slow down the thinking like a yellow traffic light warning cars to slow down and prepare to stop. The sound is like hearing a voice saying, "Listen, listen to the sounds of the present moment and return home."

Another thing I am going to do more of is chanting ahead of trying to settle into a deep meditation. This is mostly because I find that chanting relaxes and opens up my lungs to enable better breathing, which is critical in maintaining a deep meditation. Holding a hand on my chest while chanting is a direct signal to the brain that the body is relaxing and thus so should it.

Another trigger, which is very powerful is that of smell and incense (or a candle) is a great way to trigger relaxation in the brain, which helps relax the mind too and ease anxiety. It is also rejuvenating, which helps the mind stay focused and concentrate. Science has shown that incense can also help relieve depression thus being very useful in motivating a depressed mind to meditate. That's a big deal for me because I have chronic depression and often when I'm depressed I don't have the motivation to meditate, which is ironically the very thing that will help. So burning incense ahead of time to help ease my depression might just be enough to get me onto the cushion. It's worth a try!!

So there are others reasons why we Buddhists should do the "ceremonial things" besides because tradition dictates we do so. They are very helpful preparatory rituals that can enable a deeper and meditation.

~Peace to all beings~