Jewel Elopes, Osteen Trial Plays Race Card, and Miss Universe Models Nude

Okay, we've succumbed to the pressure. You clamoured for mundane celebrity gossip and we're going to give it to you. Introducing a brand new feature here at The Spewker, The Weekly Wrap of Crap.

Jay-Z will not confirm or deny his marriage to Beyonce even though US Magazine caught him out and about with a wedding ring. Mr. Carter considers personal matters off limits to the news. In other words, NOYDB. Get the full story at Vibe. In related news, cosmetics giant L'Oreal denies lightening Beyonce's skin in recent print ads.

Celebrity pastor Joel Osteen's wife is fighting to keep 10% of her net worth in an ongoing civil suit. Continental flight attendant Maria Brown is suing Victoria Osteen for assaulting her over a drink spill. The Osteens left the flight, leading to a $3,000 fine by the FAA. Jurors audibly gasped as Osteen's attorney accused Plaintiff's witness of testifying by playing the race card. The ugliness continues in a Houston, Texas courtroom.

19-year old Joshua Allen is the Season 4 winner of So You Think You Can Dance. Read yesterday's spoiler alert at Entertainment Weekly.

Harvey Weinstein shoved Catherine Zeta-Jones' latest release under the bus. His new distribution company Third Rail Releasing dumped Death Defying Acts in the UK after last week's dismal U.S. box office receipts. The film opened in two theaters and made less than $4,000.

Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty continue getting hot and steamy. Despite reports of reconciliation with his wife, Getty and Miller were spotted together Wednesday in a Malibu Country Mart shopping center.

Tons of celebrity divorces in the works. Dixie Chicks Emily Robison finalized her divorce with crooner Charlie Robison. Tennis star Pam Shriver filed for divorce from actor George Lazenby. Cynthia Rodriguez filed for divorce from New York Yankee's star Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod shot back with a request for enforcement of their prenup. Pro-wrestler Ric Flair may be headed for divorce after muddled reports surfaced about wife Tiffany filing papers. Boston Red Sex owner John Henry reached an out of court settlement with wife Peggy Sue Henry. And actor Morgan Freeman and wife Myrna Colley-Lee filed for divorce after 24 years of marriage. The two were separated before Freeman's serious car accident and subsequent hospitalization. Freeman was released from the hospital sometime after 12 noon yesterday.

Elvis' famous peacock jumpsuit sold for a record $300,000 at auction. It was the highest amount ever bid for Elvis memorabilia. Daughter Lisa Marie is pregnant with twins.

David and Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss, Liam Gallagher, and Patsy Kensit made the short list of sixteen contenders vying for the title of "most influential magazine cover off all time."

Singer Jewel and longtime rodeo star boyfriend Ty Murray eloped, surprising tabloids after living together for more than ten years.

The new Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza, will not lose her title for modeling jewelry in the nude. The controversial photos were taken before she competed for the crown.

Denise Richards is an "unappealing reality star" and her E! show faces possible cancellation. Viewers are fleeing in droves after the Charlie Sheen-ex used foul language on her show and publicly battled Sheen in an ugly custody battle for their two toddler daughters.

Celebrities Served 12.24.07

So many prominent sites report legal and political news about celebrities. Not wanting to merely duplicate, the following lesser known shorts were gleaned over the past week from a variety of sources:

CRIMINAL MATTERS

Former Secret Life of Us star, Samuel Johnson, was released on good behavior after narrowly escaping assault charges for punching and stomping a man’s head in a casino.

In Auburn, Georgia, ex-NBA All-Star, Charles Oakley, was stopped while driving erratically and arrested for unsafe driving and impaired driving. The former forward, who had played for such teams as the New York Knicks and Chicago Bulls, claimed he was lost.

An arrest has been made in the death of aspiring porn model and student, Emily Sander.

Formula One race ace, Lewis Hamilton, was fined and had his driving license suspended after being caught driving at almost 200kph on a French motorway. The hot bachelor has been linked to supermodel, Naomi Campbell, and Pussycat Dolls singer, Nicole Scherzinger.

Philidelphia news anchor, Alycia Lane, was arrested after allegedly punching a plainclothes female New York City police officer in the face and calling her a dyke.

Rapper Remy Smith, a.k.a Remy Ma, won’t be traveling abroad any time soon. A judge refused the performer’s request to headline a European tour due to serious pending criminal charges.

However, a Florida U.S. District Court Judge granted Wesley Snipes’ request to travel abroad for the holiday. Snipes faces charges for tax fraud. His trial is due to begin in mid-January, 2008.

Paris Hilton was named Celebrity with the Biggest Brush with the Law in 2007.
This article may have published far too soon as Amy Winehouse remains a formidable contender.


CIVIL SUITS

Facing increased competition from rivals Blockbuster and NetFlix,
Movie Gallery, Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy relief. The chain which operates Hollywood Video, Movie Gallery, and Game Crazy, hopes to emerge from court protection in early 2008.

Putting his money where his mouth is, Tony Parker filed a $40 million lawsuit against the gossip site, X17 Online, for publishing a story about his alleged affair with French model, Alexandra Paressant. Parker vigorously denies the two had sex in a hotel about a month after his expensive wedding to Desperate Housewives star, Eva Longoria.

Dolly Parton’s brother, Randy, was barred from performing in the theatre bearing his name. The singer and local city council are embroiled in a breach of contract dispute.

For the second time, Phil Spector sued his ex-attorney, Robert Shapiro, and Shapiro’s law firm to recoup legal fees and other damages. The embattled music producer, who will be retried on murder charges later next year, claims Shapiro’s shoddy work caused prosecutors to file formal charges.

Goth musician, Marilyn Manson, is counter-suing former bandmate, Stephen Bier, Jr., a.k.a. Madonna Wayne Gacy. The suit claims general and special damages as well as a gag order.

A judge dismissed World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.’s lawsuit against JAKKS Pacific, Inc. and related entities. The WWE had claimed antitrust and federal RICO violations. The dismissal effectively ended any possible pursuit of state law claims.

Reports of Britney’s impending marriage to Sam Lufti have so infuriated her ex, Kevin Federline, that Federline is reportedly seeking a restraining order. With 16-year old ex-sister-in-law Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy news, and Brit’s almost daily exploiots, the Spears family has become a veritable three-ring media circus.


CELEBRITY CAUSES

Paris Hilton’s mom, Kathy, raised money from other celebs to support the Make A Wish Foundation.

Nick Lachey and NASCAR star, Jimmie Johnson, recently formed the "Super Skins Celebrity Golf Classic," a charity event scheduled around the time of the Super Bowl in Scottsdale Arizona. Nick pitched in $125,000.00 of his own money to jump start the event.

Andy Roddick and John MacEnroe played tennis to benefit children with cancer.

Brad Pitt has put his movie career on hold to rebuild New Orleans. The sexy movie star, his companion, Angelina Jolie, and their four children have temporarily relocated to help former Louisiana residents reclaim blighted areas.

Want to know which celebrities are the most charitable and the causes they support?
CTV has published a list detailing generous acts of kindness among the Hollywood elite.


CELEBRITY POLITICS

Alison Jackson's celebrity look-alike photographs continue to irk their targets. Jackson’s politically incorrect images tend to capture the attention of people who are unable to differentiate between the real celebrity and the imposter.

The Dixie Chicks, subject of the popular documentary, Shut Up and Sing are back in the political spotlight. Lead singer, Natalie Maines, attended a rally and performed at a concert supporting the "West Memphis Three." Many believe the police railroaded the three teens into confessing to the sexual assault and murder of three 8-year old boys.

The Mitchell Report targeted athletes for steroid use, but let the Commissioner of Major League Baseball, Bud Selig, off the hook.

Mommy bloggers and celebrity glitterati continue to pound Oprah Winfrey for publicly endorsing and campaigning on behalf of Senator Barak Obama.

Basketball legend, Earvin "Magic" Johnson, hit the campaign trail with Bill Clinton to stump for Senator Hillary Clinton.

Musician and rock star legend, Bruce Springstein, ended his first UK show of 2007 by criticizing U.S. politics.

Shock jock, Don Imus, who only recently returned to the airwaves after making politically offensive statements about the Rutgers Womens Basketball team, kicked back at news anchor, Tom Brokow, saying he wouldn’t want him covering his back in a foxhole.

Irish pop star, Chris De Burgh, will be first Western artist to perform in Iran since the 1979 revolution.

Floyd Red Crow Westerman, an American Indian activist, actor and folk singer who appeared in Dances with Wolves and performed with Willie Nelson and other musicians, died at the age of 71. He was a survivor and symbol of U.S. government oppression of Native American Indians.