Mad Max

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

ALL HALLOWS EVE- The night before the Feast of All Souls, was confused in Medieval custom with one of the four Druid fire festivals, All Hallows.
In Ireland it was called Samhein. In Scotland all hearth fires in the land are extinguished then re-lit from the fire at the Druids’ sacred grove. Add to this the early Church's attempt to eradicate the pagan custom of giving food to departed spirits -(Greek Anthesterion in Feb., Roman Feralia and Lemuria in May) by moving the date to honor the dead to the Feast of All Souls on November 1st.
Many cultures have customs of putting food offerings on doorsteps so invisible spirits would give you good luck. So today's the last night for the devil and other ghosties to romp before the Holiday Season (Advent) begins. (tomsito.com)

Mad Max, the meanest cat on Earth, is now living somewhere in Texas. We'll miss you..... sort of.

Acrylic on canvas board 12"x16" $225.00 + S&H

Maryland Special Session - O'Malley Plays to the Choir

THE FAMILY TENORS
A three act play depicting inter-party dynamics in the Maryland General Assembly.

Act I, Scene III:
Mood:
Democratic Governor Martin "Tony Tenor" O’Malley ran on a platform of tax and spend. Amazingly enough, the voters didn’t seem to mind.

Special Session. Day three. In this last scene of Act I, all eyes are upon Annapolis. Protestors rally outside the State House demanding accountability while Tenor and his cronies bunker down inside. Their mission: to fund proposed budget increases specifically designed to turn the Free State into the “Flee State.” At stake: the ability to borrow at negligible interest rates, to attract private sector business, and to keep the wealthier sectors of the population from migrating en masse.

Setting:
State House office of Senator Bobby "Bobby Baklava" Zirkin, heir apparent to the throne (Bobby is being groomed to take over for Tony when the time comes for his final political ascent to the White House). The legislature is bracing for a turf war. Senator Nathaniel "Paulie Peanuts" McFadden and his capos, Senator Lisa "Salvio Dante" Gladden, and Baklava are railing against rival power monger, Comptroller Peter "Johnny Sacrimonious" Franchot, prime target numero uno for supporting the Chamber of Commerce position demanding fiscal restraint. Johnny’s capo, Senator Jim "Jimbo Leotardo" Brochin fired the first shot by derailing a committee report favoring tax increases with a pre-planned filibuster. Fading waves of Jimbo reading from Gone With the Wind can be heard in the background.

(Sal and Paulie storm through the stage door office with Bobby close behind. Bobby slams the door on a freckle-faced page who has trailed them down the hallway and tried to follow them inside. Bobby plops into his seat behind the desk. Sal and Paulie rest their weary hides on the desk edges)

Sal: Did I tell you what a no good dirty rotten weasel that Jimbo is. Turning his back on the family and breaking rank. It’s a disgrace I tell you, an utter disgrace.

Paulie: Tony’s gonna be plenty pissed, that’s for sure. What're we gonna do about this, Bobby?

Bobby (looking distressed): I don’t know, Paulie. I don’t know (begins tapping fingers). Without massive increases in state services, Tony’s a goner. I mean, who’s gonna vote for that clown in 2010 if the legislature doesn’t expand existing government programs and fund services traditionally paid for by the private sector?

Paulie: You mean who else besides people making minimum wage and illegal immigrants?

Bobby (glaring at Paulie): Shaddup, you yutz! Of course that’s what I mean. That filibuster is threatening this whole family’s re-election.

Sal: We’ve just gotta tax the rich and upper middle class out of existence. It’s our only hope for survival.

Bobby: Jimbo must be stopped. But how….

Paulie: I could surreptitiously let the air outta his tires. When he tries to drive back to his hotel tonight, boy, will he be surprised.

Bobby: Dumbkoff! You of all people should know he’ll only get a few hours sleep. Probably'll sack out in his office. You’ll have to do a lot better than that if you want to continue trading pork with me.

Sal: Wait a minute. Don’t you and Jimbo belong to the same temple? Couldn’t you concoct some kinda ruse like an emergency prayer meeting, say something like Israel being nuked by Iran?

Bobby: Oh, and now we all look alike and pray at the same place, huh? That’s cold, Sal, real cold.

(Just then, Tony bursts into the room and immediately slams the door. The three cronies jump to attention. Bobby vacates his seat in deference to the boss. Tony doesn’t have to be invited to sit down)

Bobby: Tony!

Paulie: Hey, Tone.

Sal: Tony. Am I glad you’re here. We’re sinking fast. We’re gonna be sleeping with the schaefers.

Bobby (very conciliatory): You have to understand, Tony, I had no idea Jimbo was gonna break rank. You’ve got to believe me. I did everything I could to muscle him into line. That sucker looked me straight in the eye and even said he didn’t care if the family ran someone against him in the next election…

Tony (breaking in): You mean like the Republicans are pulling in district one?

Bobby (pointing his index finger at Tony): Exactly, chief. (Seeming slightly relieved) Didn’t care a lick. Said he was going forward with the impasse because he loves this state and the people of Maryland and didn’t want to see all the good of our predecessors flushed down the toilet.

Tony (with a crooked smile): He said that?

Bobby (crosses his hand to his heart): On my bubby’s brisket.

Tony (shaking his head musing): He really said that? I can’t believe he actually said that. How dare he give that rival crew any credit (Getting a tough looking stance on his face). Well, I’ll show Benedict Arnold what happens to rats who jump ship. If he thinks we’re all just going to sit back and let those elite sacks of suck have their way with us, they are in for one rude awakening. Poor bastards. They don’t even know who they’re messing with.

Paulie (looking very confused): Who are they messing with, Tone? I thought they were messing with us?

Tony: That’s why I get paid the big bucks and you are just a peon. Oh, Paulie. Ye of alabaster eyes gleaming undimmed by human tears. Those idiots aren’t just messing with us. They’re messing with her!

(Bobby and Sal gasp and cover their mouths simultaneously)
Paulie: Her?

Sal: Not her, Tony. You can’t mean her.

Bobby: You mean, “She Who Shall Not Be Named?”

Tony (jumping out of the chair and buttoning jacket): That’s exactly who I mean, Sal.

(Paulie continues to look baffled).
Tony: She’s looking to our tiny blue state as a role model for socialized government. You realize, of course, I took the lead in publicly support her campaign for President.

Paulie (suddenly getting it): Oh….

Tony: That’s right. And if this hurry up and decide gamble of mine doesn’t put the screws on those pansies to hike the sales tax, individual and corporate income tax and transfer tax, gouge those rich MoCo’s for every cent we can shake, expand free health care, and stick the voters with slots, well…all I can say is…heads are gonna roll (pause)...lliterally.

(Complete tangible silence. Paulie gulps, wide-eyed)
Paulie: I like my head right where it is.

Bobby: So, if I’m hearing you correctly, Tony, what I think you’re saying is, if we want to nip this problem in the bud, we’d better get our butts back out on that floor.

Tony: Not exactly, Bobby, it’s a bit more complicated than that. But if I waste any more time explaining how to twist arms to you lamebrains, Moonshine Mike might defect to the other side. Just follow me, quickly. Do what I say and do as I do. And don’t any of you open your fat mouths, you got that?

(All nod like sheep and fall in line behind Tony strutting toward the exit. As the stage door opens, each one passes the freckle-faced page who is still standing on the other side in the hallway. Fearing possible retaliation, the page’s head faces straight down to avoid possible eye contact)

(Curtain)

My Teachers, the Leaves

The last few weeks have been very difficult for me and my wife. Things have been very stressful with a lot of problems swirling around our minds from financial problems due to my schizo-affective illness, Medicare dropping my insurance plan and trouble with my medications. I have found myself having bad reactions to my new medicine, Wellbutrin. It has been making me too stimulated and left me bordering on full blown mania. I have been quick to anger while taking it, to the point of being enraged over the littlest things. I wanted to give the Wellbutrin (or Hellbutrin as I call it) some extra time to work itself out because it has less side effects than other anti-depressants

That uncontrolled rage scared me since I haven't experienced that for years as I've been relatively stable with my long-time drug regiment. It was a major red flag that signaled the end of my patience toward the newly introduced drug. My psychiatrist wasn't convinced at first that I should go off the medicine but my therapist/councilor persuaded him to change his mind. So today is the fourth day off Wellbutrin and I feel much better. I feel much more stable emotionally and better prepared to deal with the stressful matters in my life mentioned above.

The other issue is that I got out of my meditation routine and haven't sat on the cushion in weeks. So right after I post this I am going to get back on track and meditate. I am going to do a metta meditation for others and myself to help heal and recover from the devastating events of the last few weeks. As well as help me win some breathing room to better deal with the continuing problems. That being said, sometimes meditation can make things worse if you're engaging in it out of a feeling of obligation, guilt or force. Sometimes it is better when you are feeling really angry to try and calm down through taking a walk/other exercise, read a peaceful book or other activities then meditate with the wrong intention. You don't want to come to resent the practice.

I have let the weight of the weeks events crush my happiness and it has left me in a place where I have been vulnerable and given in to self-pity. So today I began to dig myself out of the pit of defeatism by doing something for someone else. This time of year in Colorado, USA we experience a season called fall/autumn which sees a drop in temperature and crisp, dead, golden and auburn colored leaves falling off the trees, piling up to create drifts. So I tied on my shoes, went outside and began to rake up the leaves scattered across our lawn and my two neighbors lawns. We live in small houses that are all connected with a shared tract of land in the back but three separate, little front yards. Our neighbors are all elderly and the one man is very sick and needs oxygen.

It felt really good to forget myself and just clear up the lawns of the leaves. The minute I stepped outside, the fresh air invigorated my body and mind and brought the present moment sharp into focus. There was a slight breeze blowing around, making the vividly colored leaves dance in front of me. I smiled watching the performance and began to mindfully rake the fallen foliage. As I pulled the rake back and forth across the ground my self-pity began to fade away to be replaced by love of the beautiful nature just meters outside my front door. Then I felt gratitude fill my heart that I have decent health to help my neighbors with the yard work. I delighted in the soothing sound of the light, fluffy, rustling leaves being constructed into orderly piles. I breathed deeply and mindfully as I picked up clusters of leaves and placed them into the waste container.
How funny I thought that we call dead leaves, "waste" when they are still very useful. When piled up they are great fun for children, dogs (and fun loving adults) to jump into. It is like jumping into a large heap of feathers or what I imagine jumping into a large heap of feathers would be like.
Leaves also make great fertilizer in the spring, so no, they are not "waste." The wasteful activity in regards to dead leaves would be not to recycle them for plant fuel. Luckily our city picks up the "yard waste" and deposits it into a large compost pile at a recycling center where the finished fertilizer can be bought in the spring.

I gave of myself freely today and yet I feel like I gained much more. I am always pleasantly surprised at how many teachers there are waiting to help us if we just open our eyes through mindfulness and see with honest awareness. So many times over the last few weeks I was so self-absorbed that I didn't realize I was walking right over the top of my patiently waiting helpers and teachers, the leaves. It is like going on a great trek to the top of a mountain to visit a great teacher for wisdom, advice and peace while in the mean time we become annoyed by the rocks, tree branches, streams and leaves that seem to block our path on the way to the top.

Finally when we reach the top we tell the great teacher how hard our journey was and how difficult it was to reach him. Telling him how annoying the branches and rocks were on the way up making our trip more difficult. And maybe we would even get angry at him for not maintaining the path to make visiting easier. How silly we would look to the great teacher that we became annoyed with the leaves that we saw as blocking our path and slowing us down on our route to the top of the mountain to see the "real teacher!!" Surely that wise teacher would smile, perhaps laugh and tell us that we passed many great teachers that we could learn just as much, if not more from on the way up to see him!! And maybe we'd look confused and say, "I did not pass anyone old man!! You must be senile!! Do you take me for a fool?!! I see now that my journey up here as been a waste." To which he'd mostly likely respond, "Did you not pass many tree branches, rocks, streams and leaves?" "Well yes, of course and I already told you they were quite annoying!!" we'd respond. "Well then, you did indeed pass many great teachers!! I can not offer you anything up here. Go back and talk to the trees and the streams and you will find your answers and peace.

I bow to the leaves that helped me return to myself while assisting others at the same time. And while the leaves will clutter up the lawns again in a few days, I won't whine but rather smile, knowing their return is their commitment to teach me Oneness yet again. I am so grateful for my patient teachers who return again and again as many times as needed to help me understand.

What a beautiful world we are blessed to live in!!

A second post for today is below this one (gassho) _/I\_

~peace to all beings~

Meditation and Distractions

The purpose of meditation is not to concentrate on the breath without intetrruption, forever. That by itself would be a useless goal. The purpose of meditation is not to achieve a perfectly still and serene mind. Although a lovely state, it doesn't lead to liberation by itself. The purpose of meditation is to achieve uninterrupted mindfulness. Mindfulness, and only mindfulness, produces Enlightenment. Distractions come in all sizes, shapes, and flavors. Buddhist philosophy has organized them into categories. One of them is the category of hindrances. They are called hindrances because they block your development of both components of meditation, mindfulness and concentration. A bit of caution on this term: The word "hindrances" carries a negative connotation and indeed these are states of mind we want to eradicate. . . That does not mean, however, that they are to be repressed, avoided or condemned. Let's use greed as an example. We wish to avoid prolonging any state of greed that arises, because a continuation of that state leads to bondage and sorrow. That does not mean to toss the thought out of the mind when it appears. We simply refuse to encourage it to stay. We let it come, and we let go.

- Henepola Gunaratana, Mindfulness in Plain English

James: I have found that the stronger I try to force hindering thoughts out of my head while I am meditating the more powerful I make them. They seem to just return even louder and more intrusive then If I just acknowledge them, mindfully watch them and contemplate why they might be appearing. Through this mindful investigation I usually find that the emotions appear to try and help me or protect me in some way. Once I let them make their presence known, tell their story, realize that I understand their root and acknowledge that I understand the perceived problem they seem to fade away of their own energy.

And when they return, as often intrusive thoughts do while meditating, I thank them again for their interest and concern in my life and gently remind them that the perceived or sometimes real problem will be looked into soon enough. However, right now we are enjoying this present moment without worry, stress or concern for what might happen or not happen in the future.

Nor are we concerned with the memories of the past because no amount of concentration can change those memories and their outcome now solidified within our karmic stream of consciousness. This is something I often tell myself when worries about the past arise during my meditation and then I return to my breathing and present moment by saying, "Breathing in, I am present. Breathing out, I am aware." That little gatha is really helpful in returning back to real time awareness. It is almost like a pressure valve that releases the stressful energy of hindering thoughts as my meditation unfolds. It seems too simplistic perhaps but try it, it might just be as powerful a tool to you as it is for me.

~Peace to all beings~

PHOTO CREDIT: Bhante Henepola Gunaratana near Beatenburg, Switzerland. Photo by Fred Von Allmen. I love the athletic shoes he is wearing with his humble monk robes.

"I Got A Rock" And Other Halloween Treats

I've been holding back some stuff for tomorrow's fright fest. Once it's Halloween, this year will go on the fast track to New Year's Eve. Thought it might be nice to take a brief breather, starting with that coke machine - a stand in for the temporarily discontinued Whose Shoes game.



Ginny Weasley must have taken a wrong turn during her last quidditch match. I heard rumors to the effect that Dumbeldore's coming out party and the end of the popular series turned Mrs. Potter into a functioning alcoholic. Must have tried too hard to catch that dern snitch.


In a never ending quest to rid the world of malevolence, The New Fantastic Four do battle against the evil alien clone (emphasis on "new"). A fantasy film without thrills and chills. Doesn't actually fit the Halloween theme, but fancy footwork makes this clip too catchy to overlook.



Here's a real treat. It's me in my Halloween costume. I thought I'd hit the bars as Ruth Buzzy this year. Is she even alive? How I miss the old bag.

I'll end with a memorable viral vid, right on the money for those who revel in gore. Unfortunately, censors slapped it with an "R" before I had a chance to weigh in...[more]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, CHARLIE BROWN!

There was an old woman...

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,

she had so many children she didn't know what to do.

She fed them all broth without any bread,

then whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed.

This nursery rhyme was supposedly written to make fun of King George II and his wife. They had eight children who were apparently driving the woman quite mad.

Another thought is that it refers to King George who began the men's fashion for wearing white powdered wigs in the 1700's. He was consequently referred to as the old woman! The children were the members of parliament and the bed was the Houses of Parliament - even today the term 'whip' is used in the English Parliament to describe a member of Parliament who is tasked to ensure that all members 'toe the party line'.

As a point of historical interest the wigs worn by women of the period were so large and unhygienic that it became necessary to include mousetraps in their construction! (rhymes.org)

16"x20" oil on canvas $400.00 Copyright Bill Reed 2007

Politicelebritopia Round-Up for October 29, 2007

The line separating politicians and celebrities so often becomes blurred. As they cross into each others' realms, mongrel spawn are born. Round-up from this past week includes:

1. Madame Tussauds opened another house of wax in Washington, D.C. This full sensory interactive museum is probably the only place in the world where both Katie Couric and J. Edgar Hoover can put visitors on the hot spot...[more]

2. Cate Blanchette's sons have problems differentiating the celebrity from the sovereign, but they’re only five and three years old. What’s everyone else’s excuse?...[more]

3. Whoever is running FEMA watches too much reality television. America’s civil servants turn their California wildfire response into a botched episode of Survivor...[more]

4. This Hillary screensaver is a riot. When maneuvered correctly, New York’s junior Senator looks quite happy to substitute bubbly balls for hubby Bill...[more]

5. Speaking of Bubba, at Hillary’s 60th birthday bash, good ol' Bill revealed aspirations to star in Billy Crystal’s next movie. You’ll never believe who tested for the part of Marilyn Monroe...[more]
6. The downside of socialized medicine is revealed as Keith Richards, Patricia Routledge, and Christopher Timothy march to protest the consolidation of hospitals in southern England...[more]

7. After toying with the idea of running for president, popular Comedy Central star, Steve Colbert, begins stumping in his home state of South Carolina. Guess he skipped the ending of that popular Robin Williams movie, Man of the Year...[more]

That concludes this week's edition of Bastard Child. Tune in again next week for more spawn from around the globe.

The Top 10 Salient Celebrity Smackers

They’re bowed, blown-up, full, curled, lush, luscious, rounded, snarled and salacious. Portals of communication and objections of obsession. Curio chambers of lips, teeth, and gums. I’m talking about salient celebrity smackers.

Many have undergone surgical enhancement, but those that stand head and shoulders above the rest deserve mention. Not because they’re pumped or pouty, but because certain mouths just got it going on.

The qualities of a standout are hard to pinpoint. It can be as simple as the way a celebrity speaks, or a more subtle allure like a dart of the tongue. Some attract without effort while others are conscious acts of creation. Many have quested for the gold standard and failed. Britney’s recent foray into collagen enhancement proves the allure cannot be purchased. It’s the original package or what’s done with it that counts.

Note to readers: After publishing this article, many of the following videos were removed from YouTube. Their shells remain to display the captured title. Substitute videos appear below. We apologize for the complete lack of consideration of some "too full of themselves" individual. Now back to the original article.

With so many to choose from, I decided to take a stab at whittling it down to the top ten. Here are mine in reverse order:

10. Barbara Walters - When the late Gilda Radner donned her wig and journalists clothing, she became the epitome of this “wiving wegend.” “Baba” started her career with an almost imperceptible impediment that quickly became the most “pwonounced” joke in show business. Fantastic footage of the late Madeline Kahn as Marlena “Mahwena Deuschman” Dietrich is a hilarious bonus.

9. Holly Hunter - I’m obsessed with this Academy Award winner’s mouth because I can’t quite identify the impediment. It’s a lisp, it’s a hollow whistle, it’s a gentle shushing sound...it’s... completely fascinating. Also cannot ignore the right corner droop and killer southern accent. John Henson takes a jab at her trademark drawl, but Holly fights right back. Watch the end for an impressive impersonation of the late Katherine Hepburn.

8. Donald Trump - Best scene on The Apprentice ever. I don’t know how he speaks through those rounded protuberances, but it’s an exaggeration screaming for attention. More recent clips of The Donald show a toning down of the pouty puss. Hmmm... must not have enjoyed all those SNL parodies.

7. Dolly Parton - Before too much tweaking turned her into a cartoon version of bonkers on a stick, Dolly’s southern twang, lopsided bite, shushing "sss," and lower right corner droop mesmerized millions. Here’s a wonderful interview of a younger Dolly showing why she’s known as the gal with a heart of gold.

6. Alicia Silverstone - Asymetrical smile. Top right sneer. Lips that practically cover the entire bottom of her face. When Ms. Silverstone smiles, she reveals the entire length of her upper gums. The only other celebrity who can make that claim to fame is Mr. Ed.

5. Liv Tyler - A clip of Liv and her family at the Gotham Magazine launch party. It’s not so much the extraordinary shape and size of her lips as they way she purses them when she speaks. Each wonderful genuflect and tongue dart is captured here in fire engine red. Loved where she chose to caresses the magazine cover and her special send off at the end.

4. Cher - Before earning her Academy Award, Cher was a celebrated recipient of Harvard’s coveted hasty pudding pot. Check out the formerly perky cupid bow, famous tongue thrusts, renowned lip licks, and occasional cheek puff. Love those pre-collagen days.

3. Sylvester Stallone - The come hither sneer, the tongue dart, the two finger upper stance, the purse, the right corner droop. Rocky is in fine form here. This clip includes highlights from Sly’s latest flick, Rocky Balboa, and news of another franchise sequel.

2. Mick Jagger - Mick practically gets naked with Tina Turner at this Live Aid benefit. The highlight comes about 1:55 in. Additional lingual acrobatics follow, but not one of them tops the 1:56 freeze frame. Note the exquisite upper lip furl. One of the sexiest pouts this side of the pond, it’s no wonder Mick’s lips make headlines around the world.

1. Angelina Jolie - Pursing, pouting, smacking, licking, rubbing, tapping, you name it, these lips do it and more. In this revealing interview of the woman heralded as “Sexiest Woman Alive” and “One of the Fifty Most Beautiful People in the World,” Jolie’s mouth stretches the width of her wide set eyes and length of her tapered fingers. Look for the Shiloh sequel in years to come.

Honorable Mention: Brigitte Bardot, Drew Barrymore, Sandra Bernhardt, Geena Davis, Sophia Loren, Eddie Murphy, Julia Roberts, Garry Shandling, John Travolta, Steven Tyler, Alfre Woodard.

Gone But Not Forgotten: Marlon Brando, Sammy Davis, Jr., Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nicole Smith.

Update: Well, as Gilda Radner's famous character Rosanne Rosanna Dana used to say, "It's always something." Somebody came snooping around for "Holly Hunter mouth droop" and a whole slew of these videos magically disappeared from YouTube. Must be somebody pretty powerful and/or incredibly sanctimonious. I just hope they're proud of themselves.

This article took many many hours to put together just so, but they obviously don't care. The right emphasis on a celebrity's mouth, the perfect camera angle, and overall illustration of my impressions... all of this matters in supporting the points made here.

It's not as if the people or conglomerates with rights to the footage will ever find an acceptable business model to make money off of it. Okay, maybe they will, but it will be peanuts in comparison to the joy those videos bring. Those precious moments are lost forever, maybe never to reappear. Making YouTube delete otherwise unavailable camera footage is just plain wrong, copyright laws or not.

The next time whoever you are orders footage removed, will you kindly leave a link in my comments section to wherever the video is now available, if at all? At least that way people who are truly interested will still have a chance to footage of these spectacular pusses in action.

FYI, here are some substitute videos, but they don't do justice to the originals. But what's another ten hours shaved off of my life, eh?

HOLLY HUNTER


DOLLY PARTON


LIV TYLER


CHER
Sorry - post-collagen


SYLVESTER STALLONE


MICK JAGGER


ANGELINA JOLIE

More Snooty Fish

Another Snooty Fish sighting off the coast of Palm Beach Florida. They seem to be popping up where you least expect, along with shopping malls, grocery stores and gas stations. When the earth gets warm enough and the oceans rise and flood the coastal cities, they'll be right at home in those condo's overlooking what was once the coast of Florida.

Oohh, the humanity. We should have listened to Al Gore and stopped breathing out that damn CO2.

Acrylic on canvas board 12"x16" $198.00

Copyright Bill Reed 2007

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal Back Together...Again

I wish these two would make up their minds. They're on. They're off. They're canoodling. They're not. Their reps confirm. Their reps have nothing to say. After a painful divorce, she needs to spend her free time with her children. He's a soul searching settling down kinda guy. She's not ready to bring him home to the kidlets. He's already planning a Thanksgiving homecoming.


Please. Somebody. Stop the madness. I have to get off.

Revel in the quirky chemistry. Trust again. Let the love vibes flow. Don't push too hard. Don't be so needy. Before fans can spurt "Gyllenspoon" all over the Internet, create something lasting. Make it work this time. Don't make me beg.

Call me a cock-eyed optimist, but I think there's more to these two crazy lovebirds than meets the eye.

Malibu Fires Send Mel Gibson Packing

I don't get it. Don't Malibu firemen understand that some stars don't need to be evacuated from encroaching flames?

Yep, it's true. The wildfires have spread to Malibu. However, unlike mere mortals, some people are more at home among the terrifying flames. Some, who have made pacts with you know who, truly relish the searing heat, attendant mayhem, and mind numbing destruction. Oh yes, there are a few.

To understand what I mean, take a good hard look at the subject matter of Mel's latest projects. Gore, torture, mutilation -- it's all there in living technicolor. When people begin to see Mel for who he really is -- a biggot spewing booze swilling hack with tons of money and no real friends to show for it -- they'll understand my disdain.

There are more important things in life than having gobs of money and a copious lifestyle. Like knowing when to keep yer trap shut. Mel must have missed that lesson. Probably too busy pitching whatever.

Christians Protest Buddhist Display at City Hall meant to Promote Dalai Lama Visit

In Bloomington, Indiana in the United States of America the city hall has a display featuring Buddhist culture and art to promote an upcoming visit by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. In response, some Christians from the area are protesting the display claiming that it promotes one religion over another. They protested by placing a display of the Christian ten commandments at the city hall.

"I read a brief statement on the importance of the Ten Commandments being the bedrock on which our city and nation's cultural and legal foundations stand," he wrote. (James: An issue that is debatable) We then proceeded to take two stone tablets of the Ten Commandments (each about 2 ft. tall and 1 ft. wide) and a table inside city hall and placed them right in front of the city's religious display of Buddhism."

The city responded by taking down the ten commandment display saying that the Christian group didn't follow city regulations and process for such an action. The city also said that the display was religious because it listed the main tenets of the Christian faith, whereas the Buddhist display merely depicts the art and culture of Tibet.

Either way, it is my opinion that neither display should be allowed. I feel that government buildings and agencies shouldn't flirt with religion in any way. The government is funded and run by the public and therefore should remain neutral in regards to anything connected to religion.

The Christian group released the following statement regarding the two displays:

"These commandments are our symbol of peace, and we want to include them with the city's display to promote religious enlightenment. We want to be clear that we do not agree with the ideology of the Dalai Lama or Buddhist beliefs – we are Christians and believe in one God, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ," he said.

This is the most disappointing part of the whole affair for me because in saying that they do not agree with Buddhist beliefs in general they are saying they don't agree with compassion, peace, loving kindness and the easing of suffering. Both religions work to promote those ideals and it seems that the Christians could have asserted their right to the separation between government and religion without trashing Buddhism. I can only hope that the Christian group is simply ignorant of those core beliefs that the two faiths have in common.

May we all continue to strive for increased religious tolerance, respect and understanding.

~Peace to all beings~

Steve-O Spotted Supporting New PETA Campaign

I’m not into the Jackass movies or their small screen progenitor, but can’t deny their popularity. One of the creative forces behind the mayhem, Steve "Steve-O" Glover, is a recent crossover to the blended netherworld of politicelebritopia.

I hope his participation in this PETA campaign draws much needed attention to senseless animal abuse. Otherwise, I couldn’t stomach the tats. Are those fur real? What some folks won’t do for free publicity and stuff.

Another saltier ad depicts Steve-O with salaciously steamy hot buns. Ah....sorry...I have a feeling Google wouldn't approve, so no reprint. Can't help but wonder whether the racier version should be credited to amazing camera work, frigid weather, or just a tiny tallywhacker.

Two Days in Chicago

A few weeks a go Maree and i were able to go to New York. My friend Yalli was throwing a surprise birthday party for her husband and one of my best friends Sandor. Since we had to stop in Chicago anyway we decided to stay for two days with Ben. It was convenient because it allowed the 3 of us to travel together to New York. Maree did most of the picture taking during the trip. In fact, i never used my camera in Chicago and never took it out of the hotel in New York. Maree hadn't been to either city since she was a child, so it was all very exciting and new for her.


This is a very cool fountain that is supposed to be a replica of a fountain the the Palace of Versailles.

Although i've been to both Chicago and New York half a dozen times this was the first time i've been to Manhattan and second time to Chicago when there was warm weather. I found Chicago to be incredibly more enjoyable during the warmth, but i think i may actually prefer New York during cold weather. It certainly smells better when it's cold.


A long, hot, snake-like footbridge in Millennium Park.


The highway below the footbridge goes underground for many blocks, crosses the river on the underside of a bridge and continues underground.


Sadly, this rare Snow Leopard had been hit by a car. It is believed that there are only about four left roaming the greater downtown area.


Revisiting the amphitheater in Millennium Park. A year later i still found it pretty impressive.


Underneath the Bean.




A street in Ben's neighborhood.


Ben's dog Goyo is always plotting evil.


Ben claims you can get any endangered animal off the internet, and he keeps this rare species in his basement as proof.


Ben really went all out decorating his basement as a conceptual exercise for one of his future resorts.




The Frontera Grill still offers the best Mexican food i've had in the United States.

Easy Rider

This is one of my favorite watercolor surf paintings. Fast and spontaneous, not spending too much time laboring over details. After I finished I sprinkled sea salt over parts of the wave to get the mottled effect. The large granules of sea salt suck up the water and paint and leave a blank area. When the paint dries the salt is wiped off and voila it's finis. Mon deu!! (?)

watercolor 5"x7" on Canson 140 lb paper NFS

Coyright Bill Reed 2007

Nobody Cares on October 23, 2007

I can't get my work done, my kid had an operation, the rented video is busted, and the downstairs toilet is not only stuffed up, but the flushing handle doesn't work.

Nobody cares.

Likewise, nobody cares about these culled tidbits from around the blogosphere:
1. J.Lo is preggers. Duh. Do we really need an announcement [ more...]?

2. After transmorgifying her image from this to this, we all know Tara Reid is just a washed up has been in bimbo's clothing. Everybody knows they're fake, dahling. Why bother with surgery when you have such a pretty face[ more...]?

3. Speaking of face, Britney changed some features of her own face the other day, then covered up to avoid the ever present paparazzi. Don't worry, Britney's mom, this too shall pass. [more...].

4. Eddie Izzard and Keifer Sutherland. Separated at birth? You be the judge [ more...].

5. Kim Kardashian continues to hang out in all the right places. After all, it was the woman's birthday. But why the body obsession? The more I read and see about Kim's tush and tiddies, the more I want to hurl. [ more...].

Well that's a wrap. And nobody cares.

Premiere of Reservation Road

Ew! What was she thinking? Even an Academy Award winning actress dressed in Balenciaga can't get away with creep-me-out clogs like that. So they're open toed...so what? I don't care if she is a big name star, she shouldn't have fired her stylist. In fact, her whole outfit is a refugee from Elvira's closet. Can you guess whose shoes?

Update: 10/28/07: Looks like I scooped the next November issue of People. Apparently, their editors also didn't like the outfit. Now that the star's been identified, I wish someone would be brave and post a response.

Reasons Why Buddhist Monks Wear Robes and ShaveTheir Heads

I received a comment asking what the symbolism is of the robes that Buddhist monks wear and I put together a response from some research. I decided to make a post out of it for others who might be interested in the query. If anyone else has something to add, feel free to post it in the comments.

For the most part the robes of the monks depended on the dye that was available in the region. And then tradition just kept those different colors. And it also helps distinguish which sect/tradition/school of Buddhism the monastic follows.

The simplicity of wearing a basic robe partly symbolizes the vow they have taken to live a simple life. It is like their "uniform" in a way. A symbol of their non-status that they are no longer partake in the material aspects of society.

The material and dyes for their robes are usually donated by the laity.

The robe also symbolizes the monks connection to the Buddha and his willingness to follow in his footsteps.

Within some Tibetan Buddhist schools, If their sleeveless tunic is trimmed with yellow brocade or they are wearing yellow silk and satin as normal attire, they are probably eminent monks or considered living Buddhas. This link will help describe how the robes have changed over time.

Some, however, consider robes to be elitist and encourage pride as one "advances" within ones sect.

As for monks shaving their heads, it often symbolizes the renunciation of worldly things. It helps monks over-come vanity to embrace the simple life of a monk.

I hope this little research has helped a bit.

P.S.~Just wanted to let everyone know that the blog has just passed over 100,000 hits. The number doesn't mean as much to me, whereas, the readers that number represents is what is notable and humbling for this imperfect manifestation called James. Thank-you to everyone for your support, readership and comments.

I bow to the Buddha within you all. _/I\_

~Peace to all beings~

"My, what big ears you have, grandma."

"The better to hear you with, my dear."

There are a few versions of this tale, but the original is usually attributed to the Brothers Grimm. One version has the wolf eating the grandmother (whole)after getting into the house (pretending to be Little Red Riding hood). He then waits disguised as grandma, and eats Little Red (whole)after she arrives. A hunter in the forest hears the commotion, runs in, kills the wolf and cuts open its stomach saving grandma and Little Red. Then they fill his stomach full of stones which kills him. (Over kill?) I'd think just cutting him open would have done the job, but I guess they wanted to make sure he got his just deserts. (Arf! Arf!)

Another version has Red saved by the hunter before getting eaten.

The tale makes the assertion that it's safer in the village than in the dark forest, or "don't wander off, see what happens."

Acrylic on stretched canvas 16"x20" SOLD Copyright Bill Reed 2007

Prints available

Gardenia

Painting a white flower on white paper is quite an interesting set of problems to solve. Basically it's painting only the shadows. I threw away a few before I started getting the hang of it.

This is a 9"x12" watercolor on 140 lb paper $65.00 + $5 S&H

Dalai Lama to Receive Honor in America Today

His Holiness the Dalai Lama will receive the Congressional Gold Medal--America's highest civilian honor--in a ceremony today. It is to be awarded to him in recognition of his contributions to peace, non-violence, human rights and religious understanding. Predictably China is angry over the award to which the Tibetan Buddhist monk replied with a laugh, "That always happens."

His playful attitude continued when a reporter asked him if he had a message for Chinese President Hu Jintao, he patted the reporter on the cheek and said, "You are not a representative of Hu Jintao."

The award has a picture of the Dalai Lama on one side and says on the other, "World peace must be developed from inner peace. Peace is not the absence of violence. Peace is the manifestation of human compassion." Click here for the link to this picture.
Some might say that in accepting a piece of gold that the Dalai Lama is falling prey to materialism but such a claim couldn't be further from the truth. By accepting this award, His Holiness is accepting it to advance his cause for Tibetan autonomy, the welfare of the Tibetan people, maintain Tibetan Buddhism and to raise awareness of that campaign. In addition, gaining awards and having financial success isn't always, unskillful as long as they are gained through Right Intention and Right Livelihood. As well as realizing that such material gains are not the path to long term happiness.

If nothing else his acceptance of the award is a compassionate, loving action to respect the love and honor people wish to give him.

The Dalai Lama's American envoy, Lodi Gyari added, "The medal is important because it gives Tibetans hope and encouragement."

~Peace to all beings~

North Coast

The Northern California Coast has some of the most spectacular scenery in the world.
Driving south from San Francisco along Hwy 1, the cliffs begin and continue past Pacifica, Half Moon Bay and all the way to Santa Cruz and Capitola. From there it's the Monteray Bay. It's a pretty wild coastline and you'd never know you were so close to civilization. Driving north from San Francisco the coast is even more wild.
This is a bit of the coast just a few miles north of the town of Santa Cruz.

12"x16" oil on stretched canvas $375.00 + S&H

The Idiot Test

Ah...I'm revamping the site again. Don't think I'll stop until The Spewker has at least a thousand subscribers. At this rate, that might not be until the 2008 general election. Then again, the site could still be Beta next November. It's all a matter of timing, determination, and some je ne sais qua.

Never despair. Don't give up the ship. Yeah yeah. Right, then. As any newbie knows, getting the hang of this gig is no easy sport. Guess if it was so easy, everyone would be sitting at home scratching their underwear and pounding out a blog now, right?

Anywho, in the interests of keeping a good link, I'm crafting a little boat to float this bit of javascript. The "Idiot Test" shall have its very own article, by jingies. It's such a funny waste of time, I had to park it somewhere. So many others have gone by the wayside in my scramble to redesign.

Smarty pants me buzzed out when challenged to press the green button quickly. I may be smart, but quick I am not. I needed an idiot test to tell me that? Yeeesh.

The Amazing Mold-A-Rama

Some people think things like the Saturn V rocket are pretty cool, but they've obviously never encountered the amazing Mold-A-Rama. One of Man's greatest achievements, the Mold-A-Rama is an automated miniature plastic factory that allows you to operate the creation of your own exclusive product molded in colorful plastic. And by "operate" they mean you can deposit a dollar fifty into the finicky quarter slot. I believe it will not accept quarters minted after 1970.

Depositing the correct quarters starts the creation process. Two industrial strength molds are pushed together in front of your eyes. All kinds of powerful noises begin to build up deep within the bowels of the Mold-A-Rama. You might wonder if the machine is powered by a steam engine. You may also have time to contemplate the mysterious DNA-like color sequence of the letters in Mold-A-Rama. B-R-Y-R-Y-R-B-R-Y.


By "colorful" they mean gray, in this case. I saw another one that produced a vibrant black.

About a minute later the molds open revealing your exclusive plastic toy. An automated spatula scrapes it off into a drop bin. If you grab it quickly you'll notice it's very warm and soft and produces a smell that i personally think is weird and delicious. When i was a kid i wanted to eat my toy right away, and at least once i did chew the head right off a gorilla. Decades later, i still found the smell appetizing.

Gala Movie Premiere

Recently seen on a newcomer at a ritzy titzy movie premiere. With mega watt co-stars in full view, she still managed to hold her own. Since no one seems to be taking a stab at these little guessing games, they're getting easier. I'm even including some of the background and a snippet of her fancy shmancy dress. Can you guess whose shoes? What about the movie?

Chili's verde

Anaheim green chili peppers

According to many accounts, chili peppers were introduced into what is now the U.S. by Capitan General Juan de Oñate, the founder of Santa Fe, New Mexico, in 1598. After the Spanish began settlement, the cultivation of chile peppers exploded, and soon they were grown all over New Mexico. One variety that adapted particularly well to New Mexico was a long green chile that turned red in the fall. The chili was called "Anaheim" because of its adaptation to the more settled California around 1900.
They were cultivated as a spice, hung on strings and dried.

In 1846, William Emory, Chief Engineer of the Army's Topographic Unit, was surveying the New Mexico landscape and its customs. He described a meal eaten by people in Bernalillo, just north of Albuquerque: "Roast chicken, stuffed with onions; then mutton, boiled with onions; then followed various other dishes, all dressed with the everlasting onion; and the whole terminated by chile, the glory of New Mexico." (fiery- foods.com)

acrylic on 140 lb Arches paper 5 1/2"x 9" $115.00 Copyright Bill Reed 2007

Al Gore Vaporizes Hillary From Race

"I HAVE INVENTED FIE-YAH!"

Have a funnier caption? Something you'd like to spew? Make my day.

Group Burial at Arlington Cemetery Emphasizes Need to Support Our Troops

On October 12, 2007, nine months after Iraqi enemy forces decimated their Black Hawk helicopter, the unidentifiable remains of twelve National Guard and Army troops received a group burial with military honors at Arlington Cemetery. It was the largest number of National Guard soldiers killed together since the start of the Iraqi War.

Hundreds of family members attended the ceremony. Couldn’t help but notice the remarkable similarities between one national tragedy defining a generation and another. Note the stoic faces of military, family members, and a young boy. A grieving widow positioned to the right of grieving parents. Even the two men in the back right corner bear an uncanny resemblance. Just substitute the skinny tie for sunglasses and vice versa.

Does the fame of one American family make the tragedy of ordinary people any less palpable or noteworthy? I think not. Like Kennedy, the brave men and women buried at Arlington took an oath to serve. They died in the line of duty for the greater good. The photograph of their families is just as iconic because it too captures a moment in United States history.

We Americans should be mindful of the difficulties suffered by our heroic troops and their families. We can show our appreciation for their sacrifices by penning letters, sending e-mails, or sponsoring a gift. Let’s put aside our political differences long enough to show our military we’re proud and we care.

I’m thinking macadamia nut double chocolate chip cookie care packages for Thanksgiving ought to do the trick.

Marbled Godwit

The Marbled Godwit (Limosa Fidoa) is a large shorebird found along the coasts of California, Mexico, and South America.
Their breeding habitat is the northern prairies of western Canada and the north central United States near marshes or ponds. They nest on the ground, usually in short grass.

In autumn, they migrate in flocks to the coasts of , California, Gulf of Mexico, Mexico and South America. (Wikipedia)

Their long bills allow them to poke around in mud flats and sand for crustaceans. They also eat insects and some aquatic veggies.They’re fun to watch on the beach as they dart around in groups, poking in the sand for goodies.

Watercolor 9"x12" on 140 lb.Arches paper

The Reincarnationist

I was recently contacted by critically acclaimed author M. J. Rose regarding her newest novel, The Reincarnationist. Rose has been interested in Eastern philosophy and especially reincarnation since her early years and has now written a book of fiction surrounding many of those ideas.

The Reincarnationist has received star reviews from Library Journal, Publishers Weekly, was chosen as a Booksense pick and has received rave reviews from People Magazine, The Chicago Sun Times and more. And so, without further ado, M. J. Rose introduces us to the back story of her latest book in a Saturday guest post:

The Venerable Thich Nguyen Tang said: “To Buddhism, however, death is not the end of life, it is merely the end of the body we inhabit in this life, but our spirit will still remain and seek out through the need of attachment, attachment to a new body and new life. Where they will be born is a result of the past and the accumulation of positive and negative action, and the resultant karma (cause and effect) is a result of ones past actions.”

When I was three years old, I told my great grandfather things about his childhood in Russia that there was simply no way I could have known.

He was not a Buddhist but a Kabbalist – and reincarnation is as much a part of mystic Judaism tradition as it part of Buddhism. As he continued to talk to me about these memories, my great grandfather became convinced I was a reincarnation of someone from his past.

My mother – a logical and skeptical woman – argued with him about what she called his “old fashioned” ideas but over time and more incidents, she became curious enough to start reading up on the subject.

And so reincarnation was an idea I grew up with. A concept that my mom and I talked about and researched together. We studied what Buddhists and Kabbalists and Hindus wrote. We read scientific articles and skeptical arguments. We debated and postulated.

If you had asked me at twenty if I believed, I would have said “I don’t not believe.” But I was fascinated. And remained fascinated.

In my early thirties I studied Zen Buddhism and learned to mediate. It was about the same time I started writing fiction and found myself very much wanting to write a novel about reincarnation.

But it wasn’t until my mother died ten years ago that I finally began to make notes for that novel… a story about someone like her who started out skeptical but came to believe in reincarnation. At the time I was too close to the subject and missed her too much to work on the project. The grief was too close and too raw.

Then four years ago on the exact anniversary of my mom’s death my niece, who was almost three years old told me about experiences I’d had with my mother… experiences my niece couldn’t have known – moments I had never shared with anyone.

There was no turning away anymore. That experience convinced me it was time for me to finally explore my ideas and questions about reincarnation through my novel.

Josh Ryder, the main character in The Reincarnationist has my mom’s initials, her spirit and her curiosity and like her, he’s a photographer. But there the similarities end.

When Josh starts having flashbacks that simply can’t be explained any other way except as possible reincarnation memories he goes to New York to study with Dr. Malachai Samuels -- a scientist and Reincarnationist who works with children helping them deal with past life memories.

In the process Josh gets caught up in the search for ancient memory tools that may or may not physically enable people to reach back and discover who they were and who they are.

Thich Nguyen Tang said: “So we can say that in Buddhism, life does not end, merely goes on in other forms that are the result of accumulated karma. Buddhism is a belief that emphasizes the impermanence of lives, including all those beyond the present life. With this in mind we should not fear death as it will lead to rebirth.”

I think writing is a rebirth like that. Thoughts reborn as words that in a way die for the author once they are put to paper but are then reborn again for the reader who picks up the book and experiences the ideas and thoughts of the writer in his or her own personal way.

M.J. Rose is the author of nine novels. Read an excerpt of The Reincarnationist, watch an interview with the author and read the reviews at www.mjrose.com. Also please visit Rose’s blog devoted to the subject of reincarnation at www.reincarnationist.org

~Peace to all beings~