Cameron Diaz desnuda en video erótico [full]

... tiene su pasado

El 31 de mayo de 1992, Cameron Diaz, quien por ese entonces contaba con 19 años de edad, debutaba ante cámaras protagonizando un video erótico sadomasoquista de cuestionable factura, siendo remunerada por su distinguida labor con un pago único de 350 dólares americanos libres de impuestos. Hoy, 17 años después, el video se convierte en pieza fundamental de cualquier colección pajeril que se respete, incluída la mía. Y si bien se trata de un refrito en todo el sentido de la palabra (recuerdo haber bajado esta pequeña joya hace ya varios años gracias a la desinteresada ayuda del extinto Kazaa), el aporte trasciende hoy a manera de efemérides, pero sobre todo por tratarse de un hecho excepcional, ya que Cameron, como toda buena señorita de su casa, mostraría, cuando actriz, su rotundo rechazo a aparecer desnuda en pantalla, reaccionando ofendida ante cada oferta multimillonaria que osara aligerarla de prendas, olvidando la vaquita sus dulces días de ternera. Nota del Doctor Monique: Aquí en Chollywood también hay varias de esas.

Luego de tantas Araujos, Velardes y Berrocales, resulta menester hacer un pequeño receso vedetil-puteril para mostrar nuestra faceta refinada y decente. Aunque mis gustos ruqueros sean exactamente iguales a los tuyos, es decir, verdulera veintiun-añera con cuerpo de vedette y bien entrada en carnes, un cambio de panorama podría resultarnos bastante saludable a estas alturas del partido. De paso, hago caso a aquellos colegas pajeros que desde hace un tiempo me vienen reclamando más carne magra de Wong. Ojalá no se atoren con los huesos.

Cameron Diaz calatita en video erótico (making of) - Clic aquí

Sessions Knocks His Own Party On Sotomayor

Buddhism Inc.

DISCLAIMER: This post is heavily laden with sacrasm and satire about the odd ways that people use Buddhist buzz words that are apparently "en vogue" with our pop culture to sell just about anything. In the end this subject doesn't have any real impact on my own practice but it is a bit annoying and silly in the absurd so I thought I'd write about it in a humorous way. I hope you enjoy!!

------------------------

Do you ever get tired of carrying your karma around all over samsara jumbled up in your mind? Do you wish that there was a better way to organize your karma as you travel along the middle lane of the Dharma Highway to Nirvanaville? Well, your worries. are. over!! The future has arrived!!

Introducing the Nirvana Organizer Bag from Zen Class Travel!!!! You say you've never heard of Zen Class but have heard of First Class and Business Class when traveling? No problem!! Zen Class is where Zen Buddhists meditate at their home on the desired day of travel. They meditate so deeply that they are magically transported through the air to their desired destination!! It's as easy as that--so why not become a Zen Buddhist today to take advantage of the Zen Class Travel!! But WAIT!!! Don't order yet--when you order now you'll also get the Nirvana Organizer Bag. You don't want to be caught in Nirvanaville without IT.

James: So there you have it--another odd yet humourous example of a product being sold using Buddhism. The Zen Class Travel isn't an actual class of travel on airlines but the name of the company who pumps out this "Nirvana Organizer Bag." I was just having fun with the name. :) Actually, I find the whole thing quite odd really but then again I've learned over and over not to be surprised by samsara. Now if I could just find one of those "Easy Buttons" advertized on t.v. Let me explain, the advertisement for my non-American t.v. viewing audience.

There is an office materials supply company here called, "Staples" and they have a new advert up that explains that shopping with them is like pushing an, "easy button" which easilly takes care of any office needs you might have. So all this has me wondering how long it will be before some scam/business man comes out with an, "easy button" to enable instant enlightenment--with one simple, easy, push of the button!! No, I clearly realize that it's not that easy--I was just playing with the concept of this cross-pollunation between Buddhism, business and advertising.

~Peace to all beings~

Ashton Kutcher: Twitterholic

Image via Wikipedia

You all heard by now Ashton Kutcher's recent public declaration that he was done twittering if a new reality show centered around it came to fruition. I don't think it will be that easy for Ashton to quit. Like a smoker trying and failing to kick those cigarettes, he'll be back to get his twitter fix.

How do I know? Because a peek into the future reveals an abundance of future twitters from ol' Ashton. His TV and film career may be fading fast, but a lengthy twitting career is just starting.


Ashton Kutcher's twitter entry for May 30, 2012:


1:30 am -- What up? I can't sleep, so here I am. Did U miss me? I'm sorry to say you will miss me even more. This is my last tweet. I'm giving it up. Because Demi told me -- er, um . . . I think it is the best course for our family.

WE DON'T WANT TO BE STALKED!!!!

1:37 -- @pcpbear, I told you I'm done tweeting! Leave me alone! Get a life you hoser! Stop looking through my window!!!

1:40 -- What do you mean you're not outside my window? Oh yeah? How do you know I'm not in Fullerton, too?

1:44 -- Damnit. I just tweeted. No more.

1:46 -- Damnit, I did it again. Last 1. I promise.

2:20 -- @pickledeels I told you I'm not tweeting or twitting any more. STOP PESTERING ME! And if you try to camp out on my front lawn again, I'll come after you. Bruce taught me how to do a mean John McClain impression.

Yippie Kay-yey Mother F*cker!

2:23 -- @ demicougar. Okay okay I'm coming back to bed.

2:29 -- @pcpbear Dude, she is not my mom! She's my wife. Stop telling me my mom is so hot! Demi is my wife. WIFE!!!

Damnit . . . another tweet.

3:45 -- I'm back. I can't help it. My hands are shaking. I can't stop tweeting. It gives me a rush like nothing else. Just one more and I'll quit.

Dude, when did my hands get so big? Wow . . . five fingers. One . . . Two . . .

3:53 -- Dude, where's my keys?

3:54 -- Dude, where's my car?

3:56 -- Which one of you dumbsh*ts stole my car?! I don't like you. NOBODY likes you. Give me back my CAR!

4:01 -- @ demicougar What do mean the car's in the driveway? I don't see ... wait. There it is. Changed colors on me for a sec. My bad.

Dude, there's a snowman in the kitchen. I could go for some ice cream.

4:02 -- or peanut butter cups

or a slim jim

or maybe a spicy slim jim

4:10 -- @uRcr8Z I told you I can quit anytime. I'm not a twitter addict. I am stopping to protect my family. All of you reading this are stalking us with your minds. I know you are. I just know it.

5:00 -- See I quit tweeting. I knew I could do it.
Shit! This is another TWEET!

7:12-- Demi tied me to the bed to keep me off the twitter. I was all set for a role-play, but she just left me there. I didn't stay there. I learned to chew through rope from the last time Bruce tied me up, dropped me off somewhere in Utah and told me to stay the f*ck out of Idaho.

11:30 -- My name is Ashton K. and I'm a recovering tweet-aholic. It's been over four hours since my last -

Dammit! I just tweeted again!

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RIP: Trail

We'll miss you.

Mel's little ham-let

Image by startinghere71 via Flickr

You knew it was going to this. With the push to recognize gay marriage alive and well in Hollywood, it is only a matter of time before some kooky actor does their part to push the boundaries even further. Are you ready for the union between a man and his deli meats? Mel Gibson is -- as our twitter plucked from his future shows.

Just do us a favor Mel. Stay away from the Oscar Meyer processing plant.


Mel Gibson's twitter entry for June 29, 2011:


12:35 pm Following the push of the gay-rights movement and a slew of state supreme court decisions redefining marriage to apply to anyone “in love”, I've decided to marry the love of my life. It's not my wife, not the girlfriend I knocked up, and not even Joe Peshi, whos cigars I so lovingly stuffed in my ass during the filming of Lethal Weapon 2. It's my ham sandwich, which I have lovingly named S-Hammy. His brother, HS – al -ami, was unfortunately eaten about ten minutes ago. Death to the Arabs, eh? But S-Hammy is the love of my life, so tender, so beautiful, so fulfilling of my every desire. What more could a man ask for in life?


12:45 Called the county clerk to get a marriage license. B*tch laughed me off the phone! I thought about getting Perez to call her up and call her a c*nt and then blog about it, but then I decided that I would rather the can of dog food again from Mad Max than talk to that twit.


12:55 There is no justice for SH-ammy and me! Even the pastor of 15 minute marriage in Las Vegas said that he wouldn't perform the ceremony. I don't see why not. If a man and woman, man and man, woman and woman, or a woman and horse can get married, why can't I marry a sandwich? Is it so wrong to be in love with a sandwich? I was born this way. I didn't ask for this life. Why can't people just accept me the way I am.


1:35 I just got off the phone with the Bush-Cheney lawyers. They said that me marrying the sandwich was “a done deal” and that we just needed to whine to the Supreme court, the media, our moms, and fund multi-million dollar state ballot initiatives until everyone else gave in or ran out of money.


2:25 @BushCheneyLawyers We feel that you have the strongest civil rights case that we've handled since anti-proposition 8. Marrying a sandwich is a fundamental right of every human, as long as both parties consent.


3:00 Great news! Rosie O'Donnell is onboard. She's going to kick off Pres. Obama and his analysis of the war with North Korea to feature this story exclusively on her newly resurrected talk show.


3:15 @BigCheeksRosie Does your sandwich have a sister?


3:25 Found a gay ex-Catholic, dwarf, hairlip, Cuban refugee priest to perform the ceremony. He's also distantly related to Malcolm-X.


5:15 Just got back from shopping for a tuxedo. While I was out, I decided to take out some anti-Mormon T.V. Ads. They didn't actually oppose this yet, but, for good measure.


5:25 Called off wedding with sandwich. S-Hammy has aged a lot since we were first engaged. I feel that we've drifted apart. Also, the lettuce was really starting to look wilted, since I forgot to put SH-ammy in the fridge. So, washed SH-ammy down the garbage disposal. Goodbye SH-ammy! I will never find a love like yours again in this life.


7:15 Great news! My tennis rackets both proposed to me and I said yes! I love them both so much. We're planning a group wedding for the fall – somewhere in Spain.


She's available guys:

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Sonia Sotomayor: The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Sonia Sotomayor's nomination to succeed outgoing Supreme Court Justice David Souter has largely been embraced by the center, agreed to by the left, and (with the exception of the far right) treated haphazardly by the right. In point of fact, she was not my choice, because I think the court needs a much further shift to the left after the two Bush appointments, but here are some of the potential winners and losers of her placement on the Court.

Winners:

Moderate Republicans:
Moderate to right-of-center Republicans shouldn't except Sotomayor as an ideal jurist, but should probably acquiesce to her nomination as the best they can get from an Obama Adminstration. Despite what some may say, Sotomayor is widely regarded as a left-of-center jurist, but certainly no ideological bomb thrower. Most sensible Republicans should realize that there has to be some questions to give the appearance that the GOP is not laying down, but eventually accept Obama's selection as an inevitable, politically shrewd reality.

Moderate Democrats:
Most moderate Democrats should be happy with Mrs. Sotomayor on two fronts: one she is not a rabid leftist (which I think Obama has the political capital to appoint) and (2) she is a definite political winner. Mrs. Sotomayor has maintained centrist positions on abortion funding restriction as well as has been given approval by a study in Business Week. She will be the first Hispanic on the Court and will help throw a bone to an increasingly blue constituency. This voting trend by the fastest growing minority in the U.S. will help moderate Democrats compete ever further in the South and Midwest.

Losers:

The Far Right:
I almost hate to call the far right losers for two reasons, (1) I believe the far right was looking for this fight, and (2) like the "Moderate Republicans" mentioned above the choice could have been far worse by their standards. The main reason the far right is assured a place in the "losers" column is that they will almost certainly lose the fight against her confirmation and they are apt to take the fight to a level that will damage the GOP politically. The only Latino Republican in the Senate, Mel Martinez, realizes this, I just don't think Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh does. Barack Obama increased the Democrats edge with Latino voters in 2008 by 25% over 2004 (67-31) and the likes of Rush won't push that number back any. This is why Obama won Florida, and we will gladly take it again.

The Far Left:
I almost created a "push" column for the "far left", but decided to put them in the losers column. After some suffering due to a Roberts' Court the far left will largely lay down its arms and support Sotomayor, but they may turn out to be bigger losers than they expect. Sotomayor has not taken a hard line position on abortion and is not likely to do so. Further, she will probably not turn out to be an ideological counterweight to Antonin Scalia when Ginsburg retires. Politically this group does well as, like the far right does the GOP, they mostly associate themselves with the Democrats and this move will bode well for them politically.

Personally, I wanted to see someone that was much to the left of Sotomayor placed by Obama. I believe that he will get another chance, as Ginsburg will probably retire while he is in office, but who knows what the Senate will look like then or how much political capital he will have. While a moderate on most issues (and upset by Sotomayor joining the majority in Maloney v. Cuomo regarding local gun rights) I want a leftist court because I feel they are more likely to side with my views regarding the Bill of Rights. In any case, this move is the first hard-line political move by Obama that will help position the Democrats for victory in 2010 & 2012.

Chris Dodd Still Troubled In Connecticut

Embattled Democratic Senator Chris Dodd's number have improved slightly according to a new Quinnipiac poll, but they are still in the tank:

Chris Dodd (D-inc): 39
Rob Simmons (R): 45
Undecided: 13

Dodd is basically up 5 points from a poll done in March, but this still looks terrible. He is even facing some trouble from his own party, as he controls a commanding lead over some possible challengers, but there are far too many undecideds to really deter a primary challenge that would hurt him in the general.

H/T - SwingStateProject

Joe Turnham Authors New Book

Joe Turnham, the Chairman of the Alabama Democratic Party, is the author of a new book on faith entitled "Leading from our Knees" in which he discusses how faith is relevant to all manner of things. The book is available from Amazon.com

Metallica Joins Machine Head Live

Aesthetics of Hate (Explicit):

The GOP Has Someone To Vote For In Alabama

The GOP has successfully recruited Montgomery City Councilwoman Martha Roby to run against Bobby Bright and Navy veteran Lester Phillip to run against Parker Griffith in Alabama's 2 most competitive seats held by Democrats:

Roby was heavily courted by National Republican Congressional Committee Chairman Pete Sessions (Texas) this cycle despite the fact that state Rep. Jay Love — the man the committee dropped nearly $600,000 in independent expenditures on last cycle — hasn’t ruled out running again.

Phillip, who is black and the son of immigrant parents, works as the minority outreach director for the state Republican Party. He was making the rounds on Capitol Hill last week and has also begun to make a name for himself at local Tea Party events and other conservative gatherings.

Despite the understandable glee espoused by the GOP after Cramer's retirement, I still feel that Griffith's seat is the safer of the two. Bright will have a tough roe to hoe for the foreseeable future. If he can win again, one can bet the Alabama Legislature will give him some help (that is if the Dems keep control).

H/T - SwingStateProject

Mr. T Sings Take Me Out To The Ball Game At Wrigley

Please watch this, I mean really, please:

McAuliffe Continues To Pull Away In Virginia

Don't Obsess About Enlightenment.

"Rather than worry or obsess about enlightenment, why not be honest and accept that we will have our good days and our bad? We will have some enlightened moments of loving-kindness, as well as some dull ones. This encourages all of us to stay real and experience the moment as it is—not how we want it to be."

–Donald Altman, from Living Kindness.

James: I think this is a very important point to remember along our path because I know that I have a tendency sometimes to obsess over moments where I don't feel so "enlightened." I start getting down on myself for having repeated the same mistakes over and over again but then I remember that we can't progress without making "mistakes!!" None of us here in this life is perfect, which is why we are are here in samsara the first place!! So that should give us hope and give us cause to relax and just do our best within each moment that we experience.

I see "mistakes" as rough drafts in the process of bringing forth the sacred text within us all that is our enlightenment.

PHOTO CREDIT: Beautiful photo by Laurent G.

~Peace to all beings~

Loose Ends

I lived in Zion for only 3 months one fall (the best time to be there), but i took advantage of the opportunity. I was lucky enough to be there when the federal government was shut down for a week under Bill Clinton due to being unable to resolve a gap in the budget. That meant the the National Park system was also shut down. As a result, the public was not allowed inside the park, meaning the people who worked and lived inside the boundaries had the whole place to themselves for a week and were basically off work too since there was no business going on. No traffic, no speeding tickets, nothing off limits, no permits; that was a fantastic period of protected anarchy. I spent many of those days systematically exploring the canyons of the upper east side of the park. By the time my season was over i had only about 5 left that were unexplored.

Just for the sake of starting rumors, i'm making the claim that the ancestors of the Mayans got their ideas for pyramid building after passing through Zion on their way down to Mexico.

Another reason i like the upper east canyon is my preference for white sandstone. Besides the clean purity and rarity of the stuff there is also some element of it that makes me feel like i'm in a futuristic science fiction movie... far into the future when mankind lives underground and has forgotten about the surface... i have no idea why. It also lends itself well to moonlight hiking. Under the glare of a full moon you can hike for miles through white canyonscapes with no flashlight. It is a surreal and recommended experience.

The sheep look much farther away because i only had my wide angle lens with me.

For this day's hike i decided to try a loop and knock out two canyons at once. On the north side of the road shortly past the entrance station are two canyons that look on the map like there is a possible traverse between the backs of them. Additionally, the larger canyon has several small connector canyons that make "H" shapes on the map. Those looked interesting too.

This was canyon where i fell. I had hoped to make it back to the "T" intersection in the back.

In order not to get boring i'll just go over the highlights. I ran into a group of bighorn sheep while going to investigate what looked like a possible water source. I surprised them, and they surprised me, running from their bedding behind some brush to the safety of steep rock slopes above. Continuing on i found a skeletized sheep in a narrow part of the canyon. There were tracks everywhere so i think i was on a major crossing route for the animals to get to the south side of the park lands. That told me it was also likely that i could hike all the way out of the canyon up to the forested highlands if i wanted. I didn't want to.

The white pass and pyramid after making it up the slope.

I checked out one of those H canyons. It was fairly narrow but had a series of points where you have to climb up piles of choke stones. Eventually i got to one that i couldn't get up without some help. Returning from that point was when i fell. I had to jump off one of those ledges, and when i did one of my shoelaces got snagged on a broken branch sticking out of the rocks. It was about an 8 foot drop, and snagging one foot momentarily gave me forward rotational speed. I was rotating forward and to the left, away from my snagged foot. Luckily it broke free, but not before my landing was completely ruined. I hit the side of the canyon with my forearm, which then bounced me back off in the opposite direction with some new rotational speed to the right. I landed hard on my right elbow and knee on a big pile of soft sand. Then my backpack slammed down on top of me a split second later. I was very fortunate to have landed in the sand instead of a pile of rocks. Eight months later and i still have the remnants of a huge 8 inch abrasion scar on my arm.

The view from the pass looking down the other side. About a 90 degree panorama.

Zion was beginning to be far more dangerous for me than Alaska. I didn't hurt anything but my skin, so i decided to go ahead and try to get over a "pass" between two mesas. Getting up to the pass was challenging and a little scary, but fun scary. The pass was a really cool all-rock landscape with very steep sides on either end like a hyperbolic saddle. I hope the pictures get the point across.

In Zion you can follow tiny "sidewalks" where there are discontinuities in the layers of sand. These little paths can take you places you would think were unreachable, but sometimes they pinch off in undesirable places.

Dropping my lens cap and watching it roll and skip until it disappeared helped me make up my mind to go ahead and try to find a way down. I needed that cap back.

The far side of the pass was questionably steep with mystery zones not visible from the top. I remembered suddenly those non-visible variables that can completely ruin a descent. However, in Zion there is often another way. It turned out that the hardest part the whole way down was the last 10 feet! All in all i thought it was a very cool little hike.

During the hike i'd been watching and hearing thunderstorms build up, and since it was still early when i got back to the car i decided it might be worth it to try and make it to the west side of the park for some sunset pictures. It took about an hour of driving but i did make it in time to the Kolob Terrace.

Looking off the Kolob Terrace.


I was hoping the sun would illuminate these clouds and rocks just as it set.

I have a favorite area over there where i've never seen anybody else. Zion has some old areas of private land inside the park boundaries and i've always wondered if the area is off limits because you have to cross a fence to get there. This time at the end of the road i met some rangers doing some kind of studies. I told them where i was going and they didn't seem to know themselves if there was anything wrong with the area, so i guess there isn't.



A fast 25 minutes later and i was there. The place was still as pristine as it had been last time i visited. A few dead trees but also a few small new ones. Sunset was not what i was hoping it would be but i did get to see some cool lightning. Once again, i didn't make it back to the car until after dark. By this time i at least was becoming familiar with which restaurants were still open after 10pm.

Lance Armstrong: Miley's #1 Fan

Hayden Panettiere via last.fm

Lance Armstrong is back in the saddle again for another shot at the Tour De France this year. But after he has tarnished his cycling legacy in Brett Favre-esque fashion, what will he be doing when next year's tour rolls around without him?

Judging by this twitter entry we pulled from the future, Lance will be watching a lot of Hannah Montana and scheming on how he can meet Miley Cyrus and rock the best of both her worlds . . .


Lance Armstrong's twitter entry for July 3, 2010
first year of Tour de France a.l. (after lance)


6:00 Nothing good on T.V. tonight and I'm sick of riding my bike around the block, so here I am on my twitter page. Win the “tour” too many times and they put you out to pasture. Ha ha ha! I just can't believe how funny I am! Seriously though, I need to find something (or “someone” maybe, huh?) to do around here.


6:15 Decided to make a milkshake. I would give you the recipe, but I don't really know what's in it myself. Mike (my lawyer) said it's better that way – the whole “lying to congress thing” that we all worry about from time to time . . .


6:45 I'm really bored, and Ashley isn't answering her phone, apparently. SICK OF THE LATE NIGHT BOOTY CALL, HUH ASHLEY? Truthfully, I can't even remember if it's her or the other one that I'm dating. They look so similar, and I'm pretty sure that I've gotten it with both of them before. I just remember feeling woozy one night . . . something about a “race of super soldiers”? It's a crazy world we live in.


Seriously though folks, have you ever wondered if a girl would have sex with a guy old enough to be her father (almost) just because he had millions of dollars and legs the size of tree trunks? I'm here to say yes, yes she would!


7:00 Cool! Hannah's on! I really never miss a show – I'm such a huge fan. Er . . . I mean . . . the story lines and acting are what I'm fans of. I mean, the problems that these girls go through in life I totally get what it's like to lead a double life – humble and underpaid athlete by day, Don Juan del Amor by night! I guess Hannah Montana and I have that in common. Seriously, we have so much in common! I'm so proud of the fine young lady that she's become! She's really grown up in front of the eyes of America, from humble beginnings as the underprivileged child of a millionaire singer to her blossoming as the underprivileged Disney channel star. It's almost like Slumdog. Almost.


7:10 Oh wow, Miley's a Sagittarius! I . . . just thought that was interesting. I . . . sometimes . . . randomly check out the signs of . . . random people . . . that I see on T.V. Oh look . . . Pauly Shore is an . . . Aquarius. That's equally interesting.


7:15 Just to clarify my last post, I'm really not into Pauly Shore. I mean, I think his movies were okay (Bio Dome kind of sucked) but, I respect him as an actor – nothing more! That's not to say that I'm into Miley either. I mean, she did look great in that Vanity Fair pic, and she's a funny, charming, full-of-life girl. Oh, Hanna is back on.


7:30 What I meant to say in that last post was that, when a friend showed me her picture, before I could look away, she looked very . . . artistic. I just wanted to give her a hug . . . as a father figure. That didn't come out quite right.


7:32 Alright, alright, I'll just admit it. I think Miley's sexy. I mean, what's wrong with that? She takes a very nice pic – not like that Carrie Prejean girl and her “man back”. And, besides, I can think a woman is sexy. It doesn't mean that I want to have sex with her. I can think anyone is sexy. I mean, I think that lots of women are sexy. For example . . . Judy Dench – very sexy woman. Yeah, very. I wouldn't date her – but someone should. I'M FRICKIN LANCE ARMSTRONG. I have like -2% body fat! Come on, which one would you make out with, Ashley (or whatever) Olson or an 85 year old woman? Still, I do have a broad range of girls I'm attracted to – Hillary Duff (kind of old but still hot), Megan Fox, Hayden Panettiere. I'll date anyone between the ages of 18 and . . . at least, like 24 or 25. I might even be talked into 26 or 27 (after a couple of drinks, lol!). Like Natalie Portman, yeah, I'd throw that, Vanessa Hudgens – probably, Dakota Fanning, why not!


7:40 That last one kind of slipped out. What I meant to say was I highly respect Dakota and I would like to work with her on any project. I – I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to anyway. It's . . . it's not like we're in Arkansas or anything. Yeah . . . I wonder if those rumors about Arkansas are true? Nah! At least, I'm sure they're not true. Probably, definitely, maybe not true. Nope.


Where's Mike's number again?


8:00 Well, yeah, just got the text back from Mike. Definitely NOT TRUE! So, we don't have to worry about that anymore! And here I was, worried for all the young hot Dakota Fannings there – worried that the Lance Armstrongs of the world . . . but we don't have to worry about that anymore. Now, if we were in Mexico, then we might have to worry about it. I mean, ANYTHING GOES down there! That's the rumor, anything . . .


Mike's going to earn his paycheck tonight . . .


8:30 Just heard back from Mike. No, it's not true there either. And, apparently, you can be “prosecuted” for things even if you're not in the U.S. at the time you do them. Who the F--- thought of that law? Not that I care or anything – just saying. I mean, there's ugly Betty down there. She's at least better than Sheryl “Crow-eyes”. I thought of that one myself!


9:00 WTF?! Phelps! Why are you trollin' my blog man? Just because I said your b* was ugly! Well, she is! Her breasts – mine are bigger than that, even after the implants! And, how many bottles of peroxide does she use a day, huh? And, I bet she has toe fungus! Yeah! Who's the one that got pwned this time, huh? How do you like me now, huh Phelps?


9:30 Just got through watching Sailor Moon, volumes 3 and 4. I really like the stories in Sailor Moon. I find the plots so suspenseful . . . and deep . . . and suspenseful . . .


Hey, I know what all my readers are thinking – it's not like that at all! It has nothing at all to do with whether Sailor Venus ends up with Tuxedo Mask or Starlight. I find that way more compelling than something like Schindler's List. When I watched volume 4, I literally cried. I really don't like Anime for all of the stereotypical reasons about teenage girl fetish and all that. When I first saw Sailor Moon, I was like, “Is this girl 40, or 55?” I didn't know. I don't really pay attention to things like that.


9:40 Reading online that there's a 5th volume out! Apparently, it was unrated in Japan – something about a scene between Mercury and Mars . . . not that I care . . .


Wow, I'm beat! OFF TO BED!!!


(video store closes at 10:00)

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• Lance Armstrong uses Twitter to announce second child with girlfriend Anna Hansen (telegraph.co.uk)
• Lance Armstrong tweet: Baby No. 5 expect in October (sports.espn.go.com)
• Lance Armstrong out of Circuit de la Sarthe race with illness (guardian.co.uk)

Bird In A Boat

I saw this gull who had taken charge of a little row boat and couldn't resist painting him.
watercolor in a matte for an 8"x10" frame

The Mind Must Sit Down.

When we speak of “taking your seat” for meditation, we often imagine sitting down in the lotus position—but more broadly,... The body can sit down, and the mind must sit down too.

–Arnie Kozak, from Wild Chickens and Petty Tyrants

James: I really like that last part that the mind must sit down too. I often stretch my legs, back and arms before meditating to prepare my body as well as regulate my breathing with some breathing exercises. However, after reading this simple yet profound quote (at least for me) I realized that I don't do much to stretch my mind before meditating so the body is relaxed, stretched and ready to sit but the mind is still in fifth gear. It helps explain why sometimes It takes a good portion of my meditation session just to get the mind to sit--let alone be mindful of the body and the present moment.

It's like trying to slow down one of those massive semi-trailer trucks (or articulated truck in the U.k.) when it is going at full speed. Even if you hit the brakes immediately upon seeing the obstacle ahead (incessant, circular, mental chattering) it takes awhile to slow the momentum of the heavy laden truck (mind heavy laden with thoughts). However, if the driver sees the obstacle ahead of time he or she can take the necessary precautions to ease into the deceleration.

I think therefore it is helpful to do some preparatory things to relax the mind to be able to ease it into meditation easier. Instead of just plopping down on the cushion after watching an in-depth movie or the news, reading the paper with all it's wild stories or talking gossip on the phone. In particular I am going to try and do some mental stretching before meditating like the physical stretching I already do. Some of these I already do but not with the idea of using them specifically for preparing the mind. These are just some examples of how I want to better use common "rituals" in Buddhism to aid my meditations. Remember, I am not a teacher and these are simply ideas that I am looking into to better enable me to get the most out of my meditation sessions:

Sit and look out the window to ease the mind into less thinking and prepare it rather for contemplation. Thinking as we know involves all kinds of judgments and variables that our mind spins it web with. However, contemplation such as looking out the window and watching the trees swaying in a breeze is more about sime observation, which settles and slows down the mind thus making it a great exercise for the mind before a session.

One thing that I already do is to bow three times in silence before meditating, which I do as a ways of paying homage to Buddha and my teacher. What I didn't realize before putting this post together, however, is that the bowing is a great way to train the mind to prepare for settling down. The mind reacts well to so-called, "sensory triggers" which when established into a habit can aid in preparing oneself for a state of mind like turning a key starts an engine. In this case the touching of hands together, feeling skin on skin and the act of bowing is a physical and mental way of telling the mind that it needs to switch gears, submit and letting go of control.

This goes for using a bell too, which I ring three times before meditating. The crisp, ring of the bell cuts through my mental chattering to focus my mind and slow down the thinking like a yellow traffic light warning cars to slow down and prepare to stop. The sound is like hearing a voice saying, "Listen, listen to the sounds of the present moment and return home."

Another thing I am going to do more of is chanting ahead of trying to settle into a deep meditation. This is mostly because I find that chanting relaxes and opens up my lungs to enable better breathing, which is critical in maintaining a deep meditation. Holding a hand on my chest while chanting is a direct signal to the brain that the body is relaxing and thus so should it.

Another trigger, which is very powerful is that of smell and incense (or a candle) is a great way to trigger relaxation in the brain, which helps relax the mind too and ease anxiety. It is also rejuvenating, which helps the mind stay focused and concentrate. Science has shown that incense can also help relieve depression thus being very useful in motivating a depressed mind to meditate. That's a big deal for me because I have chronic depression and often when I'm depressed I don't have the motivation to meditate, which is ironically the very thing that will help. So burning incense ahead of time to help ease my depression might just be enough to get me onto the cushion. It's worth a try!!

So there are others reasons why we Buddhists should do the "ceremonial things" besides because tradition dictates we do so. They are very helpful preparatory rituals that can enable a deeper and meditation.

~Peace to all beings~

Video caliente de Daisy Araujo desnuda

... Jonas Brothers botarán el taco con Daisy Araujo


Daisy Araujo semidesnuda en video calentón
Nuestro crédito nacional Daisy Araujo declara estar dispuesta a violentar la inocencia de los miembros de la banda juvenil Jonas Brothers para impedir que Kevin, Joe y Nick lleguen castos y puros al altar. La bailarina confía en los exuberantes atributos que posee, y asegura que cuando la vean desnuda, los jóvenes músicos no podrán resistirse a saborear los deliciosos placeres de la carne. "Los Jonas Brothers quieren llegar pitos al matrimonio, pero no saben que venir al Perú es como meterse a la boca del lobo. Yo los haré debutar, van a tener mi cuerpo a su entera disposición. Cuento las horas para verlos. Es una fiebre que me recorre el cuerpo y que llegará a su clímax la noche del concierto, en el Estadio Nacional. Ya está todo arreglado, estaré con ellos en el backstage para que prueben esta dulce manzana del pecado", sentenció sin tapujos la bailarina Deisy Araujo, mientras se daba una 'vueltecita' para mostrar su turgente y apetecible derriere.


Daisy Araujo: "Haré debutar a los Jonas Brothers"

Como se sabe, los Jonas Brothers practican la abstinencia sexual. Jamás han gozado de un encuentro carnal con una mujer y como símbolo llevan en el dedo medio un 'anillo de pureza' (purity ring). El anillo de pureza se ha hecho costumbre en las iglesias evangélicas de los Estados Unidos, y con su uso los adolescentes cristianos se comprometen ante sus padres e iglesia a guardar castidad hasta el día en que contraigan matrimonio.


The Jonas Brothers
- el de la izquierda es, el del medio también, y el de la derecha está en duda -
Actualización (18/05/09): Tras arribar a suelo peruano, los Jonas Brothers fueron trasladados al hotel Marriot de Miraflores bajo estrictas medidas de seguridad. Este inusual despliegue policial se debió a que la nueva camada de cholitas aguantadas (la perteneciente a la 'generación internet') también ha amenazado con desvirgar al inocente trío de 'músicos' pop. Según información textual del diario El Chino, las dirigentes del Club de Fans 'Jonas Brothers Perú' se encuentran preparadas para gozar esta noche junto a sus ídolos adolescentes.

El Dato:
Radio Oxígeno premiará con 10 mil dólares a la chica que consiga 'robarle' la virginidad a alguno de los hermanos Jonas, y una bonificación de 5 mil verdes adicionales en caso de conseguir dupleta. El concurso solo incluye a Kevin de 21 años y a Joe de 19, puesto que Nick, de 16, es aún menor de edad.

 
Fotos de Daisy Arajo (clic para ampliar a tamaño familiar)

Perez Hilton strikes back

Image by ve®onica via Flickr

Perez Hilton's showdown with Miss California may be history, but that doesn't mean he is done tangling with beauty pageant contestants. The only problem: there's nowhere to go but down after his last cyberspace hissy fit directed at California's most famous beauty pageant contestant (currently, anyway).

We've looked into the future twitter entries and seen what happens when Hilton calls the shots -- and fires them -- at the Miss USA pageant.


Perez Hilton's twitter entries for Miss USA pageant April, 2011:



6:00 pm Well, everybody, I'm BACK! And, it's such a FABULOUS time for a beauty pageant! I just have to throw the word FABULOUS into everything because, well, that's what I am (duh). I don't care if I sound like a teenage girl (because I feel like one on the inside).


The “Don” has let me run the entire pageant this year. It took a little convincing on my part. All I had to do was whine about it a few (hundred) times (on T.V., the phone, my blog, email, work, on the street, in gay chat rooms, and to my Mom), stage some demonstrations outside of his penthouse suite, threaten mass boycotts, and make a few death threats, and he suddenly gave in! He even told me so last night when I called him up at 3:45 am and threatened death and a voodoo curse from a gay Haitian priest when he told me, “If I give in, will you leave me the hell alone?” When I said that I would he said, and I quote, “Do whatever the %&#! you want with the pageant then, you $#%!ing psychopath!” I have it all on tape to, which makes it legally binding in every court that I care about! So, now, this is MY pageant.


6:15 Before the pageant even started, I managed to eliminate 42 out of the 50 contestants from the contest. I started by eliminating anyone with a “Christian” name, anyone from the South, or anyone who gaged when presented with a picture of Rosie O'Donell in a bikini. Their mangled corpses are backstage. As for the rest, I'm going to conduct the full interview MYSELF! I'll keep a live twit of all the pageant transcripts so that the 97% of all Americans who are faggies too can help me in weeding out the remaining bigots and Christians in the group!


6:25 The interviews have begun. For these transcripts, I will refer to myself as “God,” or “G” for short. My thoughts are in italics.


G: So, Miss . . . Wisconsin is it?


Miss Wisconsin: (weakly) yes?

G: A . . . a . . . a . . . achooo (sneezing)

Miss Wisconsin: Oh, God bless you!

G: What? Disqualified!

Miss Wisconsin: But, but, I was only trying to . . .

G: GET OUT!

Miss Wisconsin: But . . .

G: Taser her!

Miss Wisconsin (screaming as she's tasered) Oh God! Help me somebody, please!

G: God ?! She's a Christian! Hit her again!

Miss Wisconsin: (screaming) Help! Help!

G: AGAIN!

Guard: Sir, she's stopped screaming. I think she's dead.

G: Dead, eh? Well, give her remains to Rosie O'Donell.



Rosie: I'm hungry AND HORNY!

G: NEXT!

Miss Oregon: I . . . I really didn't even want to be here. I'm just here because they said they'd pay for college.

G: College girl eh? KILL HER! NEXT!

Miss Wyoming: I think . . .

G: She thinks, and now she's DEAD! NEXT!

Miss Michigan, Connecticut, and New Jersey all running for their lives.

G: Kill 'em. NEXT!

G: Miss . . . North Dakota . . . HOW NICE! What do you do in life?

Miss North Dakota: I go to college at Pepperdine.

G: A Catholic. A CATHOLIC!@! Break her on the wheel!

G: How about you, Miss Hawaii?

Miss Hawaii: I go to BYU.

G: A MORMON! BURN HER AT STAKE!!!

G: Okay, Miss Arizona. You've got one chance. Are you a lesbian?

Miss Arizona: No . . . I mean YES! I'M A BIG, FAT FART SUCKING LESBIAN!

G: I'm not convinced . . . Okay, I'll give you your choice. You can either kiss Ellen Degeneres, OR eat a piece of lesbian toenail donated by the Queer Hero's League.

Miss Arizona: shuddering Do, do I have to?

G: cocking gun You've got to the count of 3. 1. 2. . .

Miss Arizona swallowing the toenail Oh God forgive me! I mean, oh Rosie forgive me . . . I mean OH PEREZ FORGIVE ME!

G: Okay, you've convinced me. So, who do you find hotter, Ellen or the prison guard from Abu Grave?

Miss Arizona: Ellen?

G: I caught you! Every one knows that both are uglier than sin. Even lesbians don't like them. KILL HER!

Miss Arizona: You're a sick, little, fat man who picks on women and turned gay because no girls would go out with him in high school! Ahhhh!!!



6:45 Now that I've weeded out all of the nonlesbians and Christians, I have found the only remaining candidate, the one who has been staring me in the all night! ME!!! I am beautiful, the most beautiful woman in the world – I mean man.

7:15 I looked absolutely stunning in the swimsuit competition! I saw a couple of guys laughing and one guy barfing into a trash can (they're all dead now) but I'm sure that the rest of American appreciates my beauty!



7:45 My evening gown was just gorgeous! I looked stunning with all of my sequins, my turquoise, my gold jewelry. I just couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror.

8:15 So much applause, so much praise – all for me!

8:45 I won! I won! I'm the queen of the world, and President Obama even presented my trophy and asked me out. Of course, I'm too gay to even go out with guys anymore. I'm only in love with myself!



11:45: My name is Bob the janitor. I found Perez asleep in the back of the storage closet. I guess he got drunk and fell asleep before the pageant started. I thought about waking him, but he looks way too peaceful – and drunk – to wake up. I think that I'll ask Steve for some help.

11:50 Steve and I decided to play some pranks on Paris while he's asleep. We though about farting in his face, but we decided that he would like it too much. Instead, we've decided to write WWJD on his head and take pictures! Then, we might put a Bible in his hands and pose him like he's reading it.

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Cafe In Paris

The waiters in Paris are quite distinguished and very professional. They all wear white shirts, bow ties, black slacks and shoes, a black vest and white apron under the vest. Very sharp. This is my impression from our trip through The City of Lights.

El Extraño caso del Hombre-Cerdo

... Apocalipsis ahora

Otra rica carnecita de El Chino...


LUEGO DEL GANSO DE 4 PATAS APARECE OTRO MUTANTE EN GRANJA MALDITA.
MUTACIONES SIGUEN MULTIPLICANDOSE EN EL MUNDO... EL FIN ESTA CERCA.


Máximo Curipampa, un poblador de la ciudad boliviana de El Alto, dio a conocer esta semana la existencia de una extraña criatura de rasgos humanos y cuerpo de chancho, un cerdo mutante que ha venido criando desde hace un mes a escondidas de su esposa, vecinos y amigos. "El animal me tiene muy preocupado, a veces me mira fijo, como si quisiera decirme algo. De noche no gruñe como los otros cerdos, sino que emite unos sonidos medio raros y llora como un bebé recién nacido. Hace 20 años que tengo mi granja y nunca había visto algo parecido. El problema es que ahora que se ha hecho público el caso, los habitantes de la comunidad quieren sacrificar al animal porque creen que se trata de un chancho de mal agüero, pero yo no lo quiero matar, sucede que me he encariñado mucho con él", señaló Curipampa.

No cabe duda que la degeneración de la naturaleza es una de las señales del fin de la humanidad. ¿Estaremos viviendo los últimos días de nuestro tiempo? Al parecer Dios lo ha dispuesto así.

MAÑANA: Mutantes de 2 cabezas.

(fin de la noticia)

A mí lo que me descomputa es que el hombre-cerdo se parezca mucho a ese híbrido de alien y ser humano que Sigourney Weaver mató al final de "Alien 4 - La Resurrección" (aquel cuco que se destripó al vacío por el pequeño orificio que Ripley hizo en la ventana de la nave, el mismo que sin proponérselo cumplió a cabalidad el conocido pasaje bíblico que dice ... es más fácil que un camello pase por el ojo de una aguja a que El Chino entre al Reino del Señor...).

---

No pensé que sucedería, pero debo confesar que de un tiempo a esta parte el Ajá se ha convertido en mi pasquín favorito, desplazando por completo a mi otrora amado diario El Chino (único ex fujimorista que recibió inmerecidamente todo mi perdón, absolución y bendición). Sucede que El Chino ha sufrido una inexplicable transformación en los últimos meses, adoptando una monserga de orate religioso que anuncia con cartel en mano el fin de nuestros tiempos, una conversión semejante a la de un vil pecador sin remedio que decide acogerse a la gracia divina en vista de su inminente muerte. Las calatas y las vedettes, los videos sexuales, el manual de poses, los horóscopos eróticos, las fotos porno y los consejos de catre que adornaban sus bellas portadas (ver sidebar, aquí a la derecha nomás) han sido repentinamente reemplazados por asquerosos titulares apocalípticos del tipo: "el mundo se acaba en el 2012", "asteroide arrasará con la humanidad", "aparece virgen que llora sangre", "Nostradamus y las profecías mayas", "los 4 jinetes del apocalipsis", "los marcianos vendrán a rescatarnos", "ya nació el anticristo", "Obama es el Papa negro", "se revela tercera carta de Fátima" y demás estupideces dignas de mentes enfermas y trastocadas.
¿Qué te ha pasado, mi Chino?, ¿por qué me haces sufrir así? ¿Qué oscuras manos manejan ahora tu incierto destino? No, no es en serio, a ti no te puedo mentir. Me recontra cago de la risa contigo. Es por este tipo de cosas que te amo tanto, mi Chinito amarillo.

 
 

Do We Really Need a Western Buddhism?

This post was inspired by a post by Arunlikhati over at Dharma Folk and by my comment to that post. Arunlikhati's post was regarding Western Buddhism and this idea by some in the west that western philosophy will somehow make Buddhism "better:" I personally don't think western Buddhists would make Buddhism better but simply different and more applicable to their/my culture. As the various Buddhist traditions around Asia aren't better than another (In my view, though some might think so) but reflect the needs and different aspects of their culture.

The term "Western Buddhist" is rather amorphous in my view. Since there is no native Buddhism in America a Western Buddhism would have to borrow much from an Asian Buddhist tradition but, which tradition? Or do we borrow a little bit from Theravada, Vajrayana, Mahayana and Zen (some place Zen into its own tradition of Buddhism)? Yet if we do that then doesn't it risk becoming the soup with too many ingredients, which cancel each other out leaving a odd and not so fulfilling taste?

And who makes those decisions? Will some council meet like the infamous Councils of Nicea in early Christianity, which some argue caused more harm than good. Or will there still be these different traditions but with the descriptor "Western" in front of it to delineate the tradition being influenced by "western" culture and philosophy. That is the option that I prefer and believe the most likely to emerge from the vague and foggy term, "Western Buddhism." For example, I now often say that I am a Western Zen Buddhist and if further pressed, "...as taught by Thich Nhat Hanh" to show that I am a westerner to describe my particular cultural tradition who practices Zen Buddhism.

I use to believe in a Western Buddhism but now I'm not so interested because of all the variables and questions that I mentioned.

I just think that the "western" part should apply only to the western culture and how it adds and influences whatever school of Asian Buddhism that a westerner follows. In this way we are honoring and maintaining as our foundation (the Asian traditions and heritage) but also paying respect and celebrating our western culture/philosophy as a wonderful addition to our particular traditions.

In the end It doesn't come down to any of this--these labels are mere fingers pointing to the glorious moon. It comes down to the present moment where labels mean nothing. However, it is an issue that needs to be discussed and fine tuned because right now "western Buddhists" are like a man without a country or a ship without a sail adrift in a sea of opposing currents and shifting winds.

PHOTO CREDIT: I couldn't find the photographer who took this but this is the site where I found it.

~Peace to all beings~

El encuentro de Magaly Medina y Gisela Valcárcel - La pelea de Beto Ortiz y Aldo Miyashiro

... el (des)encuentro de dos divas


Enemigas Intimas: la loca Ortiz y el chino Miyashiro
- las nuevas divas de la televisión peruana -
Diva 1: Es un hallazgo periodísticamente divertido, nadie sabía que existía. Alguien se puso a revisar archivos de programas antiguos, encontró esto y lo trajo.
Diva 2: A mí me parece algo tonto. ¿Cuál es el hallazgo de que Gisela y Magaly se hayan encontrado hace un montón de tiempo? Lo que pasa es que tú tienes un asunto con Magaly. Deja de sacar todo lo que ella hace, mejor anda conduce un programa con ella.
Diva 1: Puede ser que yo esté obsesionado con Magaly, pero creo que estás trasladando una discusión de Directorio a las pantallas y quizás tu inexperiencia en programas en vivo te haga hacer esto. Las discrepancias se discuten fuera de pantalla porque al público no le interesan.
Diva 2: Sucede que esto es producto de tu necedad. El hecho que seas el conductor más importante no significa que tengas que hacer tu agenda personal en el programa. Los problemas que tengas con otros escríbelos en tu periódico, pero aquí no jodas. El programa no es una pantalla donde tengas que insultar.
Diva 1: Que niñería tan absurda. ¿Algún gerente te ha encargado que hagas esto?
Diva 3: jaajaaaaii!! (cachito).



Magaly Medina y Gisela Valcárcel, las archienemigas más populares de la televisión peruana, tuvieron un pintoresco encuentro en una cena de agasajo a periodistas realizada 20 años atrás, hecho inédito que recién se dio a conocer la noche de ayer. En su más reciente edición, el programa 'Enemigos Intimos' difundió un video que muestra a una desconocida (e irreconocible) Magaly Medina compartiendo un beso y un abrazo con Gisela Valcárcel, sin imaginar que años más tarde ambas se convertirían en las rivales más encarnizadas del showbiz lorcho. El singular encuentro Valcárcel-Medina ocurrió en una cena organizada por el programa 'Aló Gisela' dentro de las instalaciones del restaurante Bertolotto, donde la señito premió a los en ese entonces complacientes periodistas de espectáculos con una serie de artículos electrodomésticos. En dicha velada, Magaly ganó un picador manual de verduras que le fue entregado por la propia Gisela (previo esforzado salto desde el estrado), quien además del obsequio le dio un abrazo y un beso. "Y sigamos con la rifa, señores. El picatodo es para el número 32928 que pertenece a... ¡Magaly Medina de la revista Oiga! Aplausos por favor. Y es un miniprocesador todavía... ganadaza!", exclama Gisela, quien aparece sentada en la mesa de honor junto al desaparecido productor Guillermo Guille.


Magaly Medina y Gisela Valcárcel juntas por primera vez

El Comentario de la Semana
El comentario de la presente semana viene por gentileza del usuario "Hero", quien se hace acreedor a dos cajas de jebes Piel y una dotación de gaseosas Kola Real para el resto del mes. Favor de coordinar la entrega de premios por interno.

Hero escribió un comentario en "Eva María Abad y el caso de los Cromwell-videos":
doctor monique eres una vieja puta cachera poto roto sidosa me das asco, personas como tu retrasan el peru, enferma de mierda, macha seca, no te pagaria ni 10 centimos por cacharte, ni mi perro te cacharia putazaaaa
pdt. y pa la proxima pon el video puta

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Pelao Cabeza de Pinga y Melcochita - La Escuelita de la Estupidez

Jimmy Santi vs. Melcochita - La Pelea del Siglo

Netherland Windmills

There really are windmills in Holland and they actually pump water through the canals. The ground water is about six inches below the dirt, very wet. The whole area is amazing and beautiful.
Debi and I had a fantastic trip to Germany, France, England and the Netherlands. I took lots of pictures and will be using them for inspiration in the few months.