Leonidas Zegarra anuncia secuela de 300 Millas en Busca de Mamá

... coming attractions (parte 2)


En un vano intento por rescatar del abandono a este elefante blanco que es Crónicas de la Farándula Kitsch, les dejo de relleno este borrador algo incompleto que por razones de tiempo nunca llegó a ser publicado. Lo que debió haber sido un merecido homenaje al director peruano Leonidas Zegarra Uceda se convierte en un apurado e improvisado especial conformado básicamente por material inédito que de momento sirve más a manera de pretexto para ensalzar el gran éxito que "300 Millas en Busca de Mamá" viene obteniendo en el hermano país de Bolivia. Lamentablemente vuelve a quedar pendiente el tantas veces postergado especial sobre el emergente cine puneño y, sobre todo, el merecido tributo al genio visionario de Leonidas Zegarra, nuestro incomprendido Godard lorcho. A pesar de ello, aún queda material para el deleite del siempre ávido lector pajero.


300 Millas en Busca de Mamá parte II
- una carta de Leonidas Zegarra -
El día de ayer recibí con agrado una sentida misiva del maestro Leonidas Zegarra en la que me comentaba sus firmes intenciones de llevar a cabo la continuación de su muy lograda cinta épica "300 Millas en Busca de Mamá", un ambicioso drama protagonizado por la talentosa actriz boliviana Mariana Liquitaya que fue estrenado (contra viento y marea) en agosto del año pasado en la sala 3 del cine "Excelsior" del Jirón de la Unión. Cabe mencionar que esta monumental cinta, filmada en hermosos parajes de la selva peruana, se encuentra arrasando actualmente las taquillas cinemeras de las ciudades de Puno y Juliaca (como algunos ya sabrán, las mecas del cine alternativo peruano), siendo inesperadamente ovacionada de pie por el siempre exigente (y a veces radical) público local, así como también por los cinéfilos de las ciudades bolivianas de La Paz y El Alto (esta última mejor conocida como "la Ciudad del Pecado", paraíso de corrupción, prostitución y drogas), lugares donde la cinta del laureado director peruano ha sido recibida con inusitado entusiasmo.
Reproduzco a continuación el íntegro de la carta que me enviara el maestro Zegarra, fechada el día 15 del presente...


Puno, 15 de febrero del 2009

Estimado Dr. Monique,

Vivo en Villa Progreso, Puno. Me siento extraordinariamente feliz y contento, no hay ni pizca de suciedad en este lugar. Hace un año, hace seis meses, creía que era un artista. Ya no lo pienso, lo soy. La energía más pura recorre mis venas, mi espíritu, mis pensamientos. Desbordo tanta vitalidad que salgo a trotar cada mañana por las apacibles orillas del maravilloso Titicaca. La naturaleza y el paisaje me han transformado en un hombre nuevo. Es en este lugar donde finalmente he podido desentrañar el motivo de mi presencia en el universo: realizar la segunda parte de "300 Millas en Busca de Mamá". Y aunque tome usted a la broma mis palabras, amigo Monique, le puedo demostrar que hablo completamente en serio.

Piense por un momento en todas esas sagas creadas por directores magníficos que llevaron el espectáculo cinematográfico a un nuevo nivel: James Cameron y su increíble saga de "Terminator", Steven Spielberg y su clásico de aventuras "Indiana Jones", George Miller y el mundo post-apocalíptico de "Mad Max", John McTiernan y la acción desbordante de "Duro de Matar" (al igual que Richard Donner y el serial "Arma Mortal"), sin olvidar a Paul Verhoeven y su genial "Robocop". Básicamente todo se resume a esto: los grandes directores saben crear grandes sagas.

Por esa razón he tomado la determinación de llevar a cabo la segunda parte de "300 Millas en Busca de Mamá", cinta que fue muy bien apreciada y recibida por la crítica nacional y por usted (Nota del Doctor Monique: el maestro Zegarra hace puntual referencia a nuestro post 300 Millas en Busca de Mamá).

Es justo reconocer a mi mayor fuente de inspiración, el cineasta Luis Llosa, cuyos filmes han sido alabados por la crítica especializada últimamente. Fijémonos en su sensacional "Anaconda" (protagonizada magistralmente por el ganador del Oscar Jon Voight), de la que posteriormente se desprendió "Anaconda 2: a la Caza de la Orquídea de Sangre" y un logrado filme para la televisión: "Anaconda 3: Las Crías". También recordemos su poderosa película "Sniper" (con el gran Tom Berenger en el papel principal), de la que se han realizado dos secuelas de muy buena factura: "Sniper 2" (para la televisión) y "Sniper 3" (para formato de video). Esto demuestra que nuestro compatriota es un genio del género de acción y merecedor de un espacio junto a los galardonados colegas directores arriba mencionados.

Por cierto, sostengo la idea de que Llosa debería realizar "El Especialista 2", nuevamente con Sylvester Stallone y Sharon Stone en los papeles protagónicos, y si se puede, contar también con la participación de James Woods y Eric Roberts, cuyos personajes fallecieron en el filme original pero que podrían ser resucitados con un giro argumental. De hecho, esta película arrasaría la taquilla norteamericana y mundial. Ya pensé en algunos argumentos que estoy seguro funcionarían bastante bien en pantalla. Pero ese proyecto lo dejo ahí, al menos por el momento.

Iré al grano, ya que no es mi deseo hacerle perder su valioso tiempo. Ha llegado mi turno de dar vida a una memorable saga. El proyecto de "300 Millas en Busca de Mamá parte 2" me seduce. Me gusta la amplia recepción de mis películas. Me gusta complacer al público peruano. Me gusta el cine. Me gusta la narración audiovisual. Me gusta estar vivo, aquí y ahora, rodeado de gente receptiva que valora mi trabajo en su real dimensión.

Mucha suerte, Doctor Monique. Que el excelentísimo maestro Ron Hubbard ilumine su camino. Agradecido estoy de haber llevado a cabo a esta comunicación con usted, a quien tengo en la más alta estima.

Un fuerte abrazo amical. Seguiremos en contacto.

Se despide su amigo

Leonidas Zegarra

---

Trailer de "Terror en el Lago Titicaca"
- lo que pudo ser y no será -
A fines del año 2007 un colaborador anónimo me hizo llegar abundante información acerca de un prometedor proyecto cinematográfico que, en opinión de la crítica especializada consultada, marcaría un hito en los anales del celuloide nacional: la incursión del maestro Leonidas Zegarra en el respetado género de terror, específicamente en aquella variante gore moderada conocida con el nombre de "slayer" o "terror adolescente" la cual se caracteriza principalmente por presentar al típico psicópata enmascarado que tiene por afición asesinar a las lobas más regalonas de la pandilla y entre cuyos ejemplos más representativos destacan las sagas de Viernes 13, Halloween, Pesadilla en Elm Street, The Texas Chainsaw Masacre y Scream.

Es así como les presentamos (de forma extemporánea, valga decir) la escalofriante "Terror en el Lago Titicaca", la versión andina del recordado clásico ochentero "Viernes 13" que llegó a ser anunciada a principios del año pasado por el afamado productor Ricardo Chavez Loza como "la película peruana del siglo". Las crónicas señalan que fue en plena fase de pre-producción, ya con el guión completamente terminado, oleado y sacramentado (un manuscrito de 650 páginas tamaño A4), que Chavez Loza decide convocar al director Zegarra para grabar un pequeño teaser promocional a modo de storyboard con la finalidad de ser proyectado ante un reducido grupo de potenciales inversores que estaban practicamente decididos a solventar la filmación entera de la cinta. Tomando en cuenta que la película aún no existía como tal, el resultado de aquel avance fue sencillamente espectacular...

Advertencia: Recomendamos ver las siguientes imágenes a plena luz de día y en compañía de una persona amiga. Si es de noche y encima estás solo entonces mejor no veas nada porque te vas a cagar de miedo.


Teaser Trailer de "Terror en el Lago Titicaca" - Una película de Leonidas Zegarra
- el trailer de una película que jamás existió -

Actualización: Para desánimo de los miles de fans del género de terror, y debido principalmente a la incomprensible negativa de los inversores de apoyar económicamente la realización de "Terror en el Lago Titicaca", el maestro Zegarra se ha visto obligado a descartar de plano la historia del espeluznante asesino hematólatra para darle al proyecto un enfoque más comercial de cara a las fiestas navideñas de fin de año. Tal es así que Zegarra se encuentra actualmente en Bolivia buscando financiamiento y auspicios para lo que será su nuevo largometraje: "Milagro en el Lago Titicaca", una prohibida historia de amor homosexual ambientada en el altiplano boliviano, la misma que según palabras del propio realizador será una especie de secuela no oficial de la galardonada Brokeback Mountain y en la que se rumorea fungirán de protagonistas los 2 Brunitos más patos de la televisión. No hay nada que hacer, estimado lector pajero, la mariconada vende.


El maestro Zegarra vendiendo entradas para la matiné de "300 Millas en Busca..."
- Boletería del cine "Manfer", en la ciudad prohibida de El Alto (Bolivia) -

Posts Relacionados:

Trailer de 300 Millas en Busca de Mamá (A Leonidas Zegarra Film)

La última tanga de Susy Díaz

video cine+peruano cine+puneño leonidas+zegarra 300+millas+en+busca+de+mama teaser trailer terror+en+el+lago terror+en+el+lago+titicaca mas+alto+del+mundo ricardo+chavez+loza

Canaan Mountain

My first full day in Zion I decided to go to an area I didn’t know anything about, about an hour's drive south of the park. Down there is a tiny town right on the Arizona border called Hilldale. The town is situated beneath Navajo Sandstone cliffs, and capped off with the same sands as are in the upper east canyon of Zion. Behind the town is a canyon called Water Canyon, and it is used as a training area for some of the Zion Canyon guide companies. Hilldale is a pretty serious Mormon town. In fact, it's beyond serious, it's the headquarters of an extremist sect of fundamentalists. Jon Krakauer devoted an entire chapter to the town in his book Under the Banner of Heaven. It's important to note though, that i had absolutely no knowledge of the town or it's history when i went there to go hiking, nor at the time that i originally wrote the following blog.

On the west edge of town, a new neighborhood has several empty blocks of red dirt roads scattered with completely out of place looking modern prefabbed houses with no lawns, just the red desert and sage. Farther in town were trees, grass and better houses. I saw several wives who were in old prairie style pioneer dresses and bonnets. They looked at me, while climbing into their new Chevy Trailblazers full of children, with fear and suspicion. I also felt fear and suspicion.


Several of the neighborhood streets, like this one, continued their grid out into open desert well after the houses ended.

I got to the trail close to 11am, right when things are getting blistering hot. The heat was killing me almost immediately. Soon after, some teenage male residents drove up on ATV’s, up the trail (which was perfect for ATV’s at this point) and began their own mysteriously short hike. After 30 minutes they came back passing me on foot. They wore long sleeve shirts and jeans, and looked like men dressed in the 1940’s, or maybe the hardy boys, but with cell phones and big watches. They also looked at me with suspicion like the women earlier, and I felt like I perceived a masked hatred behind their wary gaze. Maybe I was only imagining that they went to extra effort to stay as far from me as possible while walking by.


There's an arch visible high up on the cliff. The same arch is visible in the upper center portion of the first picture on this post. It wasn't until i took this picture though, that i could tell for sure it was an arch.

Water canyon is known for a short segment where the canyon walls curve overhead in a way that is similar to the famous subway in Zion. It turned out to be not as impressive as I’d hoped, and I kept climbing higher to see how the slot sections were. The slot sections were too cliffy to walk down, but in every instance the trail cleverly took advantage of natural faults in the rock, bypassing each obstacle without too much of a problem. After a long time I eventually made it on top of Mt. Canaan. The top was impressive and revealed a huge slickrock landscape, miles long, that I never knew existed. The thing to do would be to would be to come up in the fall or spring and camp, because it’s a strenuous hike up to the top, and once there you have a huge area to explore. I could see all the way to Bryce to the northeast and south to the swell of land that marks the rim of the Grand Canyon.


Photography 101: Taking pictures in the desert at noon is bad bad bad...


Waiting until late in the afternoon is magnitudes better.

On the way down I was thankfully in the shade most of the way and things were cooling down. About 20 minutes before the end of the trail I saw a group of people standing in a pool in the stream below. It was a bunch of kids and their parents, and was bizarre seeing the wife in an old looking 1800’s style country dress in knee deep water wearing a bright yellow life jacket on top of it. I suppose there are not many ways to learn to swim in Hilldale.




These oasis areas were very hot early in the day but felt great later on.

Back at the car another Mormon drove up on his ATV and started asking me if I’d seen the people I’d seen. He was easy going, at least 10 years older than me, and exuded that kind of confidence one has from knowing with certainty everything about their surroundings. He had an accent, local I assume, that I’d never heard. He pronounced Zion like Zsayun, but with a little more complexity than that. We began to talk about the land. He’d lived in Hilldale his whole life and climbed all over the area as a youth. He said when he was a kid tour buses used to come and pick up hikers at the mouth of water Canyon who had begun hiking all the way back in Zion. That must have been way back before the Park scandalously closed Paranaweap Canyon to the public. His story made sense. I had seen blast marks and even a couple of broken metal poles sticking out of the rock. He said the arch I saw had no name, and went on to tell me about some others, the extensiveness of that slickrock landscape up above, and the location of another cool canyon with a huge amphitheater that can be reached by ATV. He was a refreshing change of attitude from the previous residents I encountered.


With the right clouds this new vista i found would make a great panorama.

Born Again Buddhists.

Heard this joke today,

"What did the Buddhist say to the Born-Again Christian missionary?"

"No Thanks. I've been born again many times!!"

O.k. so that's a bad joke but at least I got you to stop thinking about your worries for a moment.

Moving on, I was reading that FOX News here in America (known for its conservative, Christian slant) will be interviewing the Dalai Lama. The news channel is asking their viewers to come up with some of the questions to be asked of the Buddhist monk. So I was scanning some of the questions posted on their website--some are serious, some ridiculous like, "Who will win the American League baseball championship?" I think that person thinks the Dalai Lama is some kind of fortune teller.

Then there was this one, "Can I share with you the Gospel of Jesus Christ?" As if the Dalai Lama hasn't heard it before. I am convinced that this well-read, well-traveled, highly intelligent, Dalai Lama who has been apart of countless inter-faith forums knows well the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And I am sure that he finds much good in it and finds a lot of agreement in the teachings of Jesus. And he would probably listen to someone explain it to him again with a smile and a nod or two. He is very polite and understanding of people much more so than most of us including myself.

That said, I have found that many (not all) Christians think that the only reason that people aren't Christian is because they haven't heard "the gospel." These Christians (not all by any means) can't imagine that a person can have a happy, spiritually fulfilling life without the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Surely once they hear "the gospel" (these Christians think) they will drop Buddhism and become Christian and those who don't are dismissed as "not truly understanding" the gospel of Jesus. That or they say that we "know it to be true" but we reject it to try and thwart the plan of "God."

They can't fathom someone understanding "the gospel" and then saying, "No, I think I'll stick with Buddhism." To them it's like someone being handed a diamond and saying, "No thanks." The problem is that they are blinded by duality and can't see that Buddhism has its own diamond to cherish. They don't realize that for us, Christianity is but one diamond in a fisherman's net (Indra's net) of diamonds sown in at each knot in the net. All the diamonds are beautiful and just because the diamond you know is gorgeous doesn't mean that the diamond I know isn't.

Can't we just enjoy the diamonds instead of arguing over whose diamond is brighter? I'm not saying that all religions are the same but they all (or most at least) have the same roots in believing that we are apart of something bigger than ourselves. I can be rejoice for the peace and joy that Christians find in their religion without out it taking anything away from my own branch in the one path of suchness. May all awake from the great slumber.

Joseph Campbell said, "All religions are true. You just have to understand what they are true of."

~Peace to all beings~

Hulk Hogan: All about OJ

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

How do You Know it's Bad to be Dead?

Flow with whatever may happen

and let your mind be free;
Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing.
This is the ultimate.

-ZhuangZi or Chuang Tsu

Chuang Tsu or Zhuangzi was a Chinese philosopher who is seen by some to be the heir to the founder of Taoism, Laozi (Lao Tsu). However, some argue that Zhuangzi was the first Taoist who simply invented Laozi so that he could write the Tao Te Ching annoymously. He was a contemporary of Plato and though his teachings are less known than those found in the Tao Te Ching he is well known and revered within Asia.

One of the things that Zhuangzi taught was a form of relativism where:

"Our language and cognition in general presuppose a dao [or tao, path] to which each of us is committed by our separate past—our paths. Consequently, we should be aware that our most carefully considered conclusions might seem misguided had we experienced a different past. Natural dispositions to behavior combine with acquired ones—including dispositions to use names of things, to approve/disapprove based on those names and to act in accordance to the embodied standards. Thinking about and choosing our next step down our dao or path is conditioned by this unique set of natural acquisitions."

James: In Buddhism we are conditioned by our karma to see things as realitive to how it effects us personally. This we know of course as duality--us vs. them. We label things as good or bad but doing so doesn't necessarily make those people/objects/events as "good or bad." We often ask each other, "How was your day?" and we usually in one way or another say, good or bad. However, our day isn't a "good" or "bad" one no matter what happens, however, our perception of that day might be seen to our conditioned mind as "good" or "bad" based on how far it went to fulfill our desires. It's not a good or bad day but simply--a day. An example Zhuangzi gives is of death--As the story goes:

In the fourth section of "The Great Happiness" (至樂 zhìlè, chapter 18), Zhuangzi expresses pity to a skull he sees lying at the side of the road. Zhuangzi laments that the skull is now dead, but the skull retorts, "How do you know it's bad to be dead?"

Another example about two famous courtesans points out that there is no universally objective standard for beauty. This is taken from Chapter 2 (齊物論 qí wù lùn) "On Arranging Things", or "Discussion of Setting Things Right" or, in Burton Watson's translation, "Discussion on Making All Things Equal".

Men claim that Mao [Qiang] and Lady Li were beautiful, but if fish saw them they would dive to the bottom of the stream; if birds saw them they would fly away, and if deer saw them they would break into a run. Of these four, who knows how to fix the standard of beauty in the world? (2, tr. Watson 1968:46)

James: I found this last quote while researching this post and thought it was a nice wrap-up to this discussion--especially as it relates to Buddhism:

The Buddhist view of the universe resembles the view developed by 20th-century physics. Except for the mental categories we impose upon experience, we find nothing in experience that is immutable. There is no constant but our own misconceptions. Every "thing" is actually a process--it arises, develops, flourishes, declines, and dissipates. All nouns are still-photos from the movie of life--which is made up of verbs.

All that we see around and inside us is the result of trillions of simultaneous processes, arising and declining in different overlapping stages at once. All that appears solid in this cosmos is in reality a shimmering dance of energy in flux. But where physics leaves us adrift like meaningless specks in an incomprehensible void, Buddhism envisions a reality beyond meaning and meaninglessness, beyond knowing, beyond self, beyond duality, beyond suffering--a dance of all things, in which we can become enlightened, interconnected, and compassionate dancers.

PHOTO CREDIT: Click here.

~Peace to all beings~

Bill Clinton: House Husband?

Image via Wikipedia

With Hillary traveling across the globe, it was bound to happen. Bill has been given a short leash or so our look into his future twitter entries would indicate. This is no way to treat an ex-president. Seriously. Ankle bracelets. House confinement. It's not like he's going to hook up with Monica again. Take his word for it. After all, this is a man that knows what "is" is.

What will things look like in a year's time? Sort of like this:


Bill Clinton's future twitter entry for March 12th,2010

7:45 pm: I'm pretty bored tonight, so I thought that I would update my twit. I really like twitting when I have some time off. I'm making it a goal to keep my twit – “Bill Clinton” – up to date from now on. I enjoy all of the “twitting” that people do, especially my twit friends. In fact, I've got so many twit friends now that I can't count them. I think I might have more than anyone else on this site, literally thousands. Just imagine how many more twits would befriend me if I would write a little more often. I just might even be the most popular twit of all. Who would have thought that “Bill Clinton” would someday be the biggest twit on the Internet?

8:05: Damn. Is this ankle bracelet really necessary? I told Hillary I just wanted to go out for pizza. She thinks pizza is a code word for escort, I guess. Guess it all depends on what your definition of pizza is.

8:30: Well, I couldn't think of much to write about, so I decided to watch TV. Hillary is still not home. Where is she? Well, it looks like it's a choice between a documentary about the making of M.A.S.H. and and reruns of the Cosby show. Man, those kids get funnier every time I see them. I still haven't seen that little kid that says, “What you talkin' 'bout Willis?” Maybe that's a different show.

8:45 Decided to get out the dictionary and look up, once and for all, what the definition of “is” is. There's a lot more to that than I thought. Turns out the word is from Old High German and can be used as abbreviation, prefix, noun, pronoun, or verb, depending on situation and use of apostrophe. And here I thought I was just being a jerk when I answered that question . . .

9:00 I've been looking at family photo of Hillary, Chelsea, and me. Chelsea looks so much like Hillary in the face. The nose, eyes, cheeks, chin – all exactly the same. She really is her mother's daughter!

9:15 Still looking at Chelsea. She really does look like Hillary – not so much like me. Maybe in the ears?

9:20 No the ears are Hillary's too.

9:25 Hmm. Still looking.

9:30 Note to self: have another talk with Hillary about Eric, my college roommate.

9:50 Al Gore just called up. Wants to play some hoops tomorrow. Told him that I'd just pwn his ass like last time if he brought that on. He got mad and hung up the phone. I tried to call back; he wouldn't answer. I'll give him a few days to cool off. Maybe I'll send him a ham or something too.

10:10 Where is Hillary? She should have been home hours ago. Maybe I should call someone or send the Secret Service to look for her? Maybe I'll order in pizza. Is it still free if they aren't here in 30 minutes or less?

10:20 Monica just tried to call. Man, you'd think that a restraining order and three phone number changes would be enough! Seriously, I “did not have sexual relations with that woman”. Okay, true story. I'd just got through watching one million B.C. – Raquel Welch and fur bikini and all – and I'm doin' my thing. At the end, I open my eyes, and there's Monica's dress, just lying in the middle of my office floor, same place she'd thrown it when she was separating laundry the day before. For being an intern, she was such a slob. I tried water, club soda, and nail polish remover – the stain just wouldn't come out. I was going to take it to the dry cleaner on Monday, but then there was that NAFTA thing I had to sign and all that stuff with Saddam, and I forgot. Pretty soon, Ken Starr had that same damn dress, and we all know where the rest of the story goes from there.

Hey, I'm a ex-president. Would I lie? :)

10:50 Well, Hillary just got home. She said, “You've got five minutes to get in bed and get ready before I call Ben Kingsley instead.” That's what passes for romance in our world these days. Well, I better do as she says, so I'm signing off, all y'all twits out there.


Bill Clinton Secret Mistress:

Related articles by Zemanta

• Bill Clinton says he's steering clear of talks on daughter (atomiurl.com)
• Chelsea Clinton to marry in upstate N.Y. (abclocal.go.com)
• Hillary Clinton balances foreign affairs and wedding planning (today.msnbc.msn.com)
• AP sources: Bill Clinton to lead wedding of NY rep (seattletimes.nwsource.com)

Jon Stewart thinks he's funny

Image via Wikipedia

We have been privileged to peek into the future and catch a glimpse at what Jon Stewart likes to twitter about on a night where he is done hosting the Daily Show. The future is not pretty. What it reveals is a sad man who's mind is fixated on tea bags and servicing -- ahem -- his "porsche."

Don't say I didn't warn you.


Jon Stewart's Twitter entries for April 17^th, 2009.

11:35 pm -- Man, I can't believe how stupid these so called “conservatives” are. Lately, they've been discussing how they want to throw a “tea party” for Obama, Joe, and the rest of the crew. They've even offered to “tea bag” everyone involved. Image that. If those idiots only knew how dirty the stuff they're saying is. They probably do – they just like it. I've been busting them over it all week.

12:00 I'm still laughing about all of that. I can't believe those dorks.

12:15 Man, I just can't stop rolling on the floor.

12:30 Wow, still laughing just as hard.

1:00 Still laughing.

1:30 Still laughing

2:00 Still laughing

2:30 Still laughing. I wonder if I'm making too mush of all this. NAH!!!

3:00 Okay, I've stopped laughing now. It's not quite as funny as it used to be. Almost. Not quite.

3:15 Now I'm just bored. I wonder what's on TV.

3:25 There's not much on this time of night. I've seen all the cable por – promo . . . shows . . . for like stuff on . . . the discovery channel . . . and the space launch stuff! (Wonder why my backspace key isn't working).

3:30 I've decided to read some books that my Mo—girlfriend, I mean, keeps around the house. Hmm, Nancy Drew. This could be very, very promising (he he he).

3:45 I just can't believe the words they put into this book! “Investigation”, “orange grove”, “world series”, “grandma's house”. Who let this book get published!? These's guys are so gross!

4:00 Laughing

4:30 Still laughing

5:00 Still laughing

5:15 Still laughing. I wonder if I have a dirty mind? NAH!!!

5:30 Stopped laughing and made a sandwich.

5:45 All this talk about “girl' detectives” and “garage villians” has made me . . . a little . . . “anxious”, if you know what I mean ;) All I can think about is getting some “full service” on my “Porsche” ;) I need an “oil change” with “lube and filter” included. I want “full service with a smile”. I wonder if Hans is home.

5:50 That jerk won't answer his phone. What's wrong with him? He hasn't returned any of my phone calls since I “visited too late” last month and “missed my appointment”. Like he's not replaceable.

5:55 Called Jacques. He swore at me for four minutes straight. Said he didn't want me “dropping by” this time of night, he had “work” in the morning. I'll give him some “work” to do next time I see him!

6:05 Called Enrique. He pretended not to speak English. Kept saying things like “No comprendo Señor.” and “China tu madre . . . “ or something. Have I really made that many enemies?

6:25 Called Chris, Derrick, Stewart, Ron, Chin Wan, Jesse, Terrance, Narashnahat, and Russell. Still no takers on my offer. I even offered very good tips and some “extra” if they would help me out. I've got one more name – my last hope.

6:30 Man, even Michael turned me down. He told me he's moved past “servicing my car” at 6:00 in the morning and I should “either do it my self” or “hire someone”. The nerve.

6:45 a.m. -- Well, I guess that I'll just have to wait till tomorrow to get the oil change on my Porsche. It's already 200 miles past due, but I guess it won't hurt it to go a little longer.

Now, about getting a date . . .

Related articles by Zemanta

• New Streamlined Laughing Squid Blog Layout, Featuring 2 Columns & Larger Images & Video (laughingsquid.com)
• Laughing Squid Twitter Art (laughingsquid.com)
• Late Night Laughs at Emmy Outcomes (artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com)

Things That Fly

I did this as a study for a mural I was going to paint on our grand baby to be's new bedroom wall. Our daughter changed her mind and decided on another painting I did of Jack and the Beanstalk. I think amural would have been fun to do, but I still have this little watercolor.

Zion National Park

Zion. In my opinion, it's the most beautiful, exciting desert landscape in the American Southwest. I had a week off for my birthday last fall and decided to spend it Zion National Park, Utah. It would be my 5th visit to the park. It would also mark the end of my longest absence, and i planned on making it my longest visit since living there.

I had been debating what to do when i got there. I've done most of the trails already, and the ones i haven't done i still wouldn't be able to do due to being alone and without rope. It was Glacier Park that first got me into the habit of taking pictures of my little trips, but it was Zion where i first got seriously involved in photography. One option was to go back and re-visualize some photos i have since lost to....bile.


Two views of what is probably the most photographed hoodoo in the park.

That's right, bile will take emulsion right of film like hot water cuts through dried milk. This side story will certainly ruin the mood of these pictures, but several years ago Fisher decided, for reasons i'll never understand, to go into my closet, specifically select an open box of sleeved slides i had in there and often used for submissions, and vomit all over them. I won't go into the details of what happened next, but three hours later it was clear to me that i had permanent damage to many of my favorite slides, those being on the top of the pile. Fisher never went into my closet again, and to this day he trembles in fear at the utterance of certain words by me. It's a little sad because i often use those same words when i'm performing poorly in a game.

The West Temple as viewed from a cool new area for me.

Of course, arriving in Springdale after so many years was shocking, just as i expected it would be. There are tons of new hotels and a ridiculous scatter of insulting cookie cutter houses between nearby Hurricane and Virgin, in an area that was previously open desert range bound by impressive mesas in the distance. The home owners spend a great deal of time and water keeping their silly grassy lawns green and free of sand and tumbleweeds.

Another disappointment was an old, historic cemetery that used to be bounded by an old desert rancher fence and had cool tombstones made from nearby rocks, with roughly carved inscriptions dating back to the 1800's. Many inscriptions mentioned bizzare deaths by means of plagues and drowning. It had recently been "renovated" with a brand new chain link fence, cleared grounds and new modern tombstones made out of precision cut, shiny marble imported from somewhere far from any sandstone. But the biggest change since i lived there is that you can no longer drive into the main canyon of the park. You must take a shuttle, even if you area guest at the hotel inside the park. I really don't like having to do that, and in fact, for the five days i was down there i never once took that shuttle into the main canyon. I suppose that goes to show how much there is to do in the area.


A wind carved Moki Cave.


The other side of the cave has a shallow corkscrew.

When i got down to Zion, it was later in the afternoon but still early enough to go to a little known place with a waterfall and a swimming hole that i used to enjoy as a local. I had once taken a picture of the pool with a large cottonwood hanging over it, but the film processor sliced it down the middle when cutting and mounting the slides. It was otherwise a great picture, but not printable.


Between Zion and the Escalante area are many dirt roads. This one is called Cock's Comb Road.

I'd been away from the desert for so long that it took me some serious re-adjusting to get used to moving over slickrock and boulders, and to remember just how much sand is needed to enable a little sliding. When i eventually made it back to the pool i was shocked. The place was completely different than when i had been there years ago. One of the trees was dead, the largest was not doing well itself, and incredibly, even some of the rocks and small boulders had moved or were no longer present. Flash floods had also seriously eroded the sandy banks on one side, leaving a large tree's roots dangerously exposed. It was no longer the perfect place it had been when i recorded it on film over a decade ago.

Although seeing the place in that condition was distressing, it made my next decision very easy. There was no point wasting time on the past. Zion has too much to offer for that, and life is too short. I was going to do all new places for the next 4 days. It was going to be sweet.


An impressive hoodoo at the edge of Escalante National Monument.


The hoodoo was about 20 feet high.

Buddhist Community Outraged Over Demon Beating Incident.

Both parents of a 3-year-old southwest Harris County boy beat him with bamboo sticks and poked his feet with chopsticks in a violent attempt to remove demons from his body, a prosecutor said Tuesday in a court hearing. Assistant Harris County District Attorney Darin Darby, citing a witness statement from the boy’s 6-year-old sister, on Tuesday presented new details of the attack on Saturday to state District Judge Debbie Mantooth Stricklin in the case against Phung Tran, 36.

She and her husband, Jacky Tran, 35, are charged with injury to a child with serious bodily injury, a first-degree felony. He was arrested on Saturday. His wife was charged on Monday. Both face up to life in prison if convicted. Prosecutors say the parents, Buddhists and vegetarians, believed demons entered the boy through meat he ate.

HOUSTON – Houston’s Vietnamese and Buddhist communities are outraged over what they claim is a distortion of their religious beliefs. "We don't want to be looked upon as sharing the same kind of beliefs and actions as that man. Everybody condemns that action," Vu Thanh Thuy of Radio Saigon Houston said.

The Vietnam Buddhist Center in Sugar Land also condemns Tran’s actions. They wanted to make it clear that Buddhism does not teach anything about removing demons, especially at the painful expense of another human’s life. "I think he has a problem with his mind. I don't think it has got anything to do with religion," Lien Tu of the Vietnam Buddhist Center said. In fact, the major landmark at the Vietnam Buddhist Center is a 720-foot tall statue of the Bodhi Safa. In Buddhism, this is the goddess of peace and mercy, which is the opposite of the religious claims being made in the case of Jacky Tran.

The communities want to send the message that Buddhism is about alleviating suffering, not causing it, especially when it comes to a helpless 3-year-old boy.

James: It is my view that demons aren't real and that they are better understood as parts of our illusory self. In other words we all have Buddha nature but demon nature as well. Buddha taught us that we must take ownership of our ill fortunes and realize we are our own saviors and demons. We must take responsibility for our actions and problems--not conveniently shift the blame onto some invented bogeyman.

"By oneself, indeed, is evil done; by oneself is one defiled. By oneself is evil left undone; by oneself, indeed, is one purified. Purity and impurity depend on oneself. No one purifies another." (Dhammapada, chapter 12, verse 165).

I've said this before but personally I find belief in demons to be dangerous as people can justify just about anything in the name of fighting an amorphous, unverifiable "demon." Such beliefs can too easily lead to placing our focus and attention outside of ourselves and allow us to blame our weaknesses, mistakes and problems on this idea of demons, which in many ways has become a scapegoat for a rampant ego. Now, I'm not saying that believing in demons always leads to this kind of behavior and if you believe demons are real and beneficial to your practice and are otherwise a very peaceful, non-violent, reasonable being than I have no quarrel with you.

As for this particular case we can clearly see that they are not practicing Buddhism but rather a very perverted, twisted and deranged immitation. In the first place vegetarianism isn't mandatory in Buddhism but second I want to know where the 3 year old got meat from if the parents were vegetarian? The main thing that I wanted to underline with this post is that Buddhism does NOT teach violence and is often seen as the most peaceful religion on Earth today. Of course there will be wackos who do this kind of stuff and try to call themselves Buddhists but that does not take away from the underlying message of Buddhism, which is peace, non-violence, love, respect and kindness.

---End of Transmission---

YouTube elimina video del pelao Ganoza por queja de RBC

... el pelao cabeza de pinga mariconeó


Tengo el desagrado de informarle al público asiduo a este honorable blog pajero que el portal YouTube ha decidido eliminar el popular video "PELAO CABEZA DE PINGA: 10 insultos en El Tribunal de la Tele" (una recopilación de mi autoría) debido a una queja presentada por RBC Televisión en la que dicha casa televisora aduce una presunta violación a sus derechos de autor.


=================MENSAJE================

De: YouTube (no_reply@youtube.com)
Enviado: sábado, 4 de abril de 2009 11:08:07 a.m.
Para: DocMonique (doctormoniqueblog@gmail.com)
Asunto: Se retiró el video por infracción de derechos de autor

Estimado miembro:
Te informamos de que hemos retirado el siguiente material al haber recibido una notificación por parte de RBC TELEVISION en la que la empresa televisiva afirma que dicho material infringe sus derechos de autor:

PELAO CABEZA DE PINGA - 10 insultos en El Tribunal de la Tele: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6jNGDhWUWM

Te advertimos que las infracciones reiteradas de los derechos de autor darán lugar a la eliminación de bla-bla-bla y la chucha del gato...

=======================================


Me pregunto con qué autoridad moral vienen estos mequetrefes de RBC a imponer sus exigencias y a reclamar airadamente por sus inexistentes derechos cuando Ricardo Belmont Casinelli, uno de los ladrones más sinvergüenzas que parió el Perú, continúa irrespetando los derechos de sus trabajadores, socios y accionistas, zurrándose desde hace más de 2 décadas en la millonaria deuda que hasta la fecha mantiene con 110 mil sufridos peruanos; gente ingenua a la que estafó de la manera más vil y cobarde, y a la que suele amenazar furibunda y matonescamente ante el menor atisbo de justo reclamo. Un timo a gran escala solo equiparable al tristemente célebre caso Manrique-CLAE. Nota: Para mayor información sobre esta impune acción delictiva visitar "RBC: La Estafa al Pueblo" y este buen post de Carlos Carlín.
En lo referente al reclamo en sí, llama la atención el criterio selectivo de estos malnacidos, y que su queja se limite sospechosamente a un único video (nótese la franja de color rosado: "Este video ya no está disponible debido a un reclamo de derechos de autor realizado por RBC TELEVISION"). Extractos de programas de la misma señal, entre los que destacan secuencias dedicadas a "La Noche del 11", "El Angel del Deporte", "La Tribuna de Alfredo" y "El Tribunal de la Tele" inclusive, continúan colgados en YouTube sin ocasionar el menor malestar en el canal del hermanón pese a que, según la estúpida lógica de RBC, se encontrarían también incurriendo en una "flagrante violación a sus derechos de autor".

Con un total de 125,000 visitas en un lapso de 5 meses, mi video "PELAO CABEZA DE PINGA: 10 insultos en El Tribunal de la Tele" se había convertido en el más efectivo spot publicitario del programa de Angel Ganoza en el ciberespacio, una inmejorable propaganda que promocionaba de manera eficaz un producto tan deficiente, chapucero e improvisado como El Tribunal de la Tele. Una publicidad gratuita (muy atractiva y vendedora, valga decir) que estos miserables de RBC no han sabido valorar en su real dimensión, cometiendo la impertinencia y el atrevimiento de enviar un ultimatum al portal YouTube exigiendo, además de las "satisfacciones del caso", la inmediata eliminación de dicho material por considerarlo una contraveniencia a sus derechos de autor, una sucia jugada muy al estilo de las todopoderosas multinacionales MTV, Warner Bros. y 20th Century Fox. Un hecho sin precedentes en lo que a televisoras peruanas se refiere.

PELAO CABEZA DE PINGA: 10 insultos en El Tribunal de la Tele - Video CENSURADO por RBC - Mi estimado Ricardo Belmont Casinelli, hermanón positivo de toda la vida, te invito cortésmente a que te metas tus risibles reclamos interneteros bien al fondo del ojete. Aquí tienes de nuevo el video que tú y el pelón Ganoza censuraron. Y no seas tan caradura y págales a tus decenas de miles de acreedores las acciones que les debes, estafador conchatumadre, porque gracias a ellos tienes hoy un canal de televisión en el que junto a tus perros ayayeros (pelao cabeza de pinga, Lucecita, gordo Gonzalez, padrecito Oviedo, etc.) puedes defender tu inconsistente postura y predicar tu ridícula y falsa moral. No vaya a ser que el vengador anónimo del '86 vuelva a aparecer para meterte bala otra vez.

¿Está justificada tamaña alharaca? Hablar de El Tribunal de la Tele es referirse a un programa basura, del montón, modesto y sin ningún tipo de mérito. Resulta cómico que un pobre diablo como Angel Ganoza, en el más insólito acto de cinismo y desparpajo, se autoproclame el representante máximo de la "nueva televisión blanca, sana, sagrada, y de muy altas cualidades" cuando lo único que hace en su programa es repetir como imbécil las infames noticias de farándula que lee en los diarios amarillistas de 50 céntimos (ver sección "Diarios de cabecera") no sin antes piratear con total descaro el material de los programas sensacionalistas más sintonizados de nuestra magra televisión (Magaly TeVé, El Francotirador, En Vivo y en Directo, Día D), para terminar su triste faena criticando con demasiada mala leche a las figuras más representativas del showbiz lorcho (Bayly y/o Magaly, principalmente), colgándose de la fama de estos mediáticos personajes cada vez que puede. Dado el escaso talento que demuestra este inútil para sobrellevar la conducción de un programa diario de 1 hora de duración, Ganoza (un tipejo tan figuretti como aquellos a quienes malsanamente critica, ver post Pelao Cabeza de Pinga y Melcochita - video de colección) se ve en la obligación de rellenar el inmenso espacio sobrante con llamadas telefónicas del público televidente, las mismas que se caracterizan por estar cargadas de insultos de grueso calibre hacia su persona (el gancho del programa y la razón principal de su relativa popularidad). Me pregunto yo, ¿qué clase de propiedad intelectual podrían proteger estos pobres bastardos con un programa de mierda como este?

En vista de los recientes acontecimientos, comunico al grueso de la lectoría pajera de "Doctor Monique: Crónicas de la Farándula Kitsch" que mi ESPECIAL blogueril dedicado a los programas más representativos de RBC termina abruptamente aquí, y que los prometedores episodios IV, V y VI de la exitosa saga "RBC - Canal (m)Once" quedarán, de manera irremediable, en el tintero. Luego de esta artera puñalada no voy a seguir promocionando los programas de esa mierda de canal. El ya casi concluido post acerca del maestro Francisco Choy (el "David Carradine / Chiang Kuan Caine" de la calle Capón, un chifero charlatán y embaucador que vende chucherías esotéricas en el "Chinatown" cholo y que se recursea leyendo el horóscopo chino en su kiosquito de cartón del jirón Ucayali a razón de 3 soles con 50 céntimos cada vaticinio previa engatusada al peatón con frases tipo: "... y para nuestros amiguitos nacidos bajo el signo de la rata...") jamás verá la luz en este reputado, honrado y bien intencionado blog. Tampoco verá la luz el soporífero video titulado "A Corazón Abierto (The Very Best): las carnecitas del padrecito Oviedo" (tan aburrido que hasta el huevón de Belmont se queda dormido en 2 de cada 3 entrevistas), ni tampoco el post dedicado a la chuchumeca que des-conduce el programa "El Angel del Deporte", esa rubia teñida con pinta de gran coquera y chupapingas brava que la vez pasada barrió el piso con el pobre Angelito:
(diálogos reales)
Angelito: "Y ahora le damos la bienvenida a la única, a la incomparable, al sueño imposible de todos los peruanos, a mi amor prohibido, a la mujer más hermosa de la televisión... la be-llí-si-ma Cleeeelia Franceeeeescooooniii del Peerúuuuu, eeeeehh, aplaudan carajo!!". Angelito, con sonrisa tiesa, salta incontrolable sin despegar el culo de la silla, moviendo cabeza, brazos y cuerpo en medio de lo que parece ser un frenético ataque de epilepsia.
Clelia: "Gracias Angelito, muchas gracias. Tú siempre tan amable conmigo. Y quería felicitarte Angelito porque hoy es tu día".
Elejalder: "Pero Clelia, ¿qué cosas dices?, si el cumpleaños de Angelito fue hace 3 meses..."
Clelia: "Ya lo sé, Elejalder (Clelia mira hacia la cámara y sonríe). Estoy felicitando al Angelito porque hoy es el Día del Discapacitado. Así que muchas felicidades pues Angelito, que la pases bien en tu día".
Winnie Puh: "..." (detiene la música)
Angelito: "..." (cara de desconcierto, mira hacia la gente de producción)
Elejalder: "..." (baja la mirada, cierra los ojos, mueve lentamente la cabeza en señal de desaprobación)
(silencio general en el estudio)
Angelito, resignado: "Gracias Clelia. Veamos ahora imágenes del entrenamiento de la selección en La Videna, adelante señor productor".


Gentusa de RBC, con esta mezquina actitud son ustedes los que pierden, ya que el hecho de censurar videos solo les significará una menor presencia en un medio de promoción (y de comunicación, sobre todo) tan vital como Internet.


Bonus Track 01
Pelao Cabeza de Pinga vs. Magaly Medina. Magaly TeVé, el programa más basura de la televisión peruana, transmite en vivo mi recopilación "PELAO CABEZA DE PINGA: 10 insultos en El Tribunal de la Tele" con el afán de joderle la pita al pelón. No contentos con haber obviado mi permiso, los conchasumadres de este programa de cuarta tapan íntegramente mis créditos con un mosaico negro. No hay derecho. Que vuelva a la cárcel esa bruja de mierda.


(5:25 - 8:10) Magaly Medina le enrostra al pelao Ganoza el ahora censurado video

Bonus Track 02
Y para terminar con broche de oro, un muy logrado documental que narra la patética incursión televisiva de Angel Ganoza. Un ilustrativo repaso a la prehistoria de "El Tribunal de la Tele", el repentino ascenso a la gloria y su inevitable caída en desgracia. De revisión obligada para fanáticos y público no iniciado.


La historia del Pelao cabeza de pinga (inicio, gloria y ocaso) - RECOMENDADO

Posts Relacionados:

Pelao Cabeza de Pinga - El Tribunal de la Tele con Angel Ganoza

Pelao Cabeza de Pinga y Melcochita - La Escuelita de la Estupidez

Video de Keyra Agustina: El Culo de RBC Canal 11

Alfredo Gonzalez traga rico en La Tribuna de Alfredo

La Tribuna de Alfredo - EL BLOG

Video caliente de Lucecita Ceballos La Piernona del 11

Fotos calientes de Lucecita Ceballos (casi calata)

video pelao+cabeza+de+pinga youtube angel+ganoza tribunal+de+la+tele magaly+medina jaime+bayly clelia+francesconi

The Importance of Buddhist Relics

For better or for worse I am not one for superstitions and since becoming a Buddhist 7 years ago I have often been baffled by the Buddhist relics, which every temple from Nepal to Japan seem to have enshrined. There is much superstition associated with these relics. The ones that grab the attention of this skeptic the most are the ones claiming to be remnants from the body of Buddha. First of all how does anyone know that a tiny piece of bone or tooth is that of Shakyamuni Buddha Siddharta Gautama? I guess people just want to believe that they are from his body and that seeing them gives them some kind of blessing.

However, It seems strange to me that some followers of Buddhism would place such attachment to pieces of bone or tooth that may or may not be from Buddha when Buddha taught not to attach to material things. Some believe that being near one of these relics is like being with Buddha as if he were still with us. Yet is that not attaching to Buddha the man, Buddha as seen through the idea that he had a self--a separate identity from us and everything else?

Would it not be just as effective to look at our own teeth as all is Buddha--as we are all one? Is not the essence of Buddha always with us--in fact, within us regardless of whether or not his tooth is resting in some far off temple? Do we really need a material object to convince us of the importance of Buddha and his message? Buddha taught of the impermanence of all things and yet despite this teaching some Buddhists don't seem to want to let go of the Buddha's "body."

I can understand their benefit from a philosophical and cultural point of view. As well as if they inspire a person to live up to the example of Buddha and his disciples and the example of deceased teachers. However, I don't believe the idea that many (not all) Buddhists adhere to that these relics have special powers or can reduce less skillful karma simply by looking upon them. In one exhibit people could receive "blessings" when the relics where placed upon their heads.

This idea that relics can transfer blessings to keep someone from dying or to help a business succeed seems a bit theistic. In that I mean it places Buddha (and notable teachers) in the position of a Savior as in the monotheistic religions. Yet we know that Buddha was not a Savior like Jesus but a man--True, an enlightened man but not a being who can save us from our own karma. Buddha did not even want images of him made let alone want people to basically worship his tooth!!

~Peace to all beings~